Would you choose the man or the dog

[Banjjoo3]

I’m having a difficult situation at home. My Fiancé HATES dogs, any dog. He hates the mess they make, the smell everything about them. I am the opposite, I love dogs. We live a country lifestyle, on a farm, with horses, chickens etc. my fiancé is away a lot for work so last year finally agreed that I could get a puppy 🐾. Now this puppy has been particularly difficult…in fact he’s nuts! He’s chewed up flooring, kitchen units, any left footed shoe, he runs full speed into the pond then rolls in fox shit just for fun, he chases the calves, barks at the horses, and is generally a menace (which I love him for). He’s been trained so will do all the usual obedience stuff, comes to work with me, gets a lot of exercise, all the usual stuff.

Yesterday, after he decided to shit in one of the cupboards my fiancé mentioned that he just can’t live with him anymore, that he hates having a dog and it’s making him really down, he doesn’t want to be at home because he hates him so much, I’m sure you get the picture.

The thing is, I would never give up on my responsibilities, I love the dog and he’s great company when he’s away so much, and a comfort as we have no close neighbours. So what would you pick, the man or the dog?!?

I came on expecting to vote Dog but having read your posts, I feel sorry for your OH. He doesn't like dogs and was honest about that. Your dog sounds a bit of a nightmare, which you might think is really cute, but to your OH it must be awful. I loovve dogs but wouldn't be amused at one chewing my stuff and going to the toilet in a cupboard. As OH was honest about his dislike, the least you could do was have a dog that was minimal fuss and mess.

I think it needs a lot more training if you are to stand any chance of OH being able to put up with it.

What a ridiculous thing to say! I’ve had the same breed before and both dogs were very different. You can’t generalise the whole breed based on one dog! His size happens to fit my life perfectly thanks…behaviour at present not so much, but the type of dog does. My fiancé also picked and named the puppy!

But he’s by no means dangerous, everyone loves his big personality

I wouldn't be so sure about that. I adore dogs but would get mightily pissed off with a dog barking at livestock. And livid with any owner that allowed that to happen.

Your dog sounds lovely, I couldn’t give up my wee dog for anyone.

I do remember that sometimes the puppy years came be awful- I had a dog that I kept threatening to put on eBay 🤣

Things will probably get better when the dog calms a bit. And yes. I can see why you have a little dog to go in lorry and the like: much more portable. As an aside, my tiny dog was born on a yard, but hates mud and randomly barks at horses occasionally, so you never can tell! Hope it works out @Banjjoo3

Puppies are hard work but he won't be like this for ever. Sadly your fiancée probably will be.

The dog is not happy and nor is your fiance. And this dog is running alongside your horse when you're out riding?.

You trying to being light hearted about this issue has also put you in a poor light.

The dog sounds horrendous - I hope he grows out of it.

You sound quite defensive about the dog so just keep him and ditch the fiancée. There you go, Decision made.

'The thing is, I would never give up on my responsibilities' but you have haven't you, you never made a proper job of it so far, because oh the humour in it all.
You haven't toilet trained your dog properly or taken any of this seriously, even if you think you are being light hearted this dog is badly behaved, not well trained enough for the environment and the people it lives with. I feel a bit sorry for your partner. You could've put more effort in to have a better behaved dog, out of respect for the wishes of your DP and the welfare of your dog. Its not funny, what larks down on the farm, it'll either get kicked or killed by another larger animal or you will get injured/killed by a spooked cow or horse.

I bet he could outrun most Labrador’s and certainly has more energy than most big dogs I know. 99% of my friends live a similar lifestyle to us and have all sorts of dogs, from dachshunds, full chihuahuas, staffies, greyhound’s, all sorts. This dog is not a working dog, he lives on a working farm, but he is a pet and companion, not a member of the staff

This is crazy that everyone seems to think OP should bin her partner and keep the dog

If there's no relationship issues why would you get rid of him?

He, like all adults are allowed to change their minds anytime. Specially when the reality is very different from what was expected, the puppy being the opposite of what he could cope with behaviour wise

Rehoming isn't the worst outcome at all and then the dog could have fully committed owners who adore him as opposed to one that does and one that hates him.

I think rehome the dog as soon as possible with a loving owner. The longer you keep him the more horrible this situation will become

I was trying to be lighthearted in my description of him, he has caused no harm to any human or animal, although maybe a little distress with his barking.

If you live in the countryside you should understand why it’s dangerous for animals to worry livestock - it’s not just physical risk, but the stress and potential impact on their behaviour.

Your OP may have been light hearted, but a 1 year old dog that is regularly exercised and well trained should not be having regular accidents, particularly in cupboards.

My suspicion is that because your dog is small and to an extent can be managed more easily because of it’s size, you have neglected to train it, and it is now difficult to live with.

You've posted on earlier threads that the wedding was set for late March, so is he calling it off? I also remember your threads about things that aren't quite right in the relationship. Is he hoping you'll call off the wedding so he doesn't have to?

Unless you fiancé shits in the cupboard and rolls in fox poo then for me it would be bye bye doggy….sorry!

I don't particularly love dogs, but he knew you were a dog lover & jumped in anyway. I have cats & no way would I ever rehome them or never have another for a man, that route lies misery, no thanks

He will come out riding with me and trot beside the horse happily with no problem, but if the horses are in the stables he will stand outside the stable door and bark at them.

So not on lead, not reliably trained and liable to bark and chase livestock?

What role does the dog play here?. Your pet and companion on a working farm?. The two are mixed up. Why has he been allowed to be anywhere near cattle at all?. He is confused and likely has no idea where his place is in the pecking order.

I don't live on a farm, but a dog barking at newborn calves does not sound great to me. Why does this dog get priority care over the calves?

Well I'm with your DP - the dog sounds like a menace and I too am not a dog person so unless a dog is very well behaved I can't stand the bloody things. It shits in the cupboards? That's revolting - sorry. I couldn't live with that either.

Relationships come and go... a dog is for life!

The dog! But he needs to be trained properly. This takes time and patience. Most dogs love au de 'fox peau' it's there natural behaviours to disguise their scent or just enjoy the pungent aroma of things we may wrinkle our nose at. I have a bond with my dog that can't be broken, I've been married 10 years and love my husband but if he made me choose I don't know how I'd feel about him.

@Sofasogood1

A chihuahua pug on a farm that trots with the horses?! You've chosen a really odd breed for a farm and haven't trained it well - not sure you're that responsible dog owner op :( Poor DP, poor dog

This

This dog isn’t trained. He shits in the cupboards, I’m on the side of your husband. Train the dog.