Would you choose the man or the dog

[Banjjoo3]

I’m having a difficult situation at home. My Fiancé HATES dogs, any dog. He hates the mess they make, the smell everything about them. I am the opposite, I love dogs. We live a country lifestyle, on a farm, with horses, chickens etc. my fiancé is away a lot for work so last year finally agreed that I could get a puppy 🐾. Now this puppy has been particularly difficult…in fact he’s nuts! He’s chewed up flooring, kitchen units, any left footed shoe, he runs full speed into the pond then rolls in fox shit just for fun, he chases the calves, barks at the horses, and is generally a menace (which I love him for). He’s been trained so will do all the usual obedience stuff, comes to work with me, gets a lot of exercise, all the usual stuff.

Yesterday, after he decided to shit in one of the cupboards my fiancé mentioned that he just can’t live with him anymore, that he hates having a dog and it’s making him really down, he doesn’t want to be at home because he hates him so much, I’m sure you get the picture.

The thing is, I would never give up on my responsibilities, I love the dog and he’s great company when he’s away so much, and a comfort as we have no close neighbours. So what would you pick, the man or the dog?!?

Defo the dog

Dog.

I could NEVER be with any man who felt this way about animals.

Sorry.

Your dog sounds maddening tbh. Sorry.

I’ve also just bought my fiancé a small gift and card from the dog apologising.

It's NOT the dog's fault that he's not been properly trained!!

I’ve 3 dogs ,one of them is the same mix you have ,out of the 3 dogs ,she is the nightmare.barks at every single sound
Had to to training classes ,it made no difference.
She’s 4 and still toilets in the house if it rains
I’d never have this mix of dog again ..
I’m sick of the barking ,and thank god my other 2 dogs are not as bad
Feel sorry for your husband,he tried to make you happy ,and in doing so ,made himself unhappy

Tricky situation. I can see both viewpoints. I’ve been the person with a tricky dog (very well behaved but very fearful) and the partner of someone who’s dogs really tried my patience. And I love animals and am very patient! Sadly the two dogs who were awful were actually more a reflection of the general incompetence of their owner (reflected also in life generally), which frustrated me no end until I couldn’t take it any more.
I would advise referral to a decent behaviourist for assistance, preferably a practicing vet with a lot of experience. I had good results with a combination of drug intervention and behaviour modification after a series of interactions with not so good ‘professionals’.

That all sounds good, OP. I think you’ve received some rough responses because you initially seemed to be playing for laughs- as if your fiancé were an old bore and you were one of the comic relief characters in a Jilly Cooper novel. But it doesn’t sound a funny set up for any of you. Hope the trainer can help.

I admit that probably due to his size I am more lenient on certain behaviours, but he has such a huge personality I can’t help but adore him.

I think you need to rethink this bit. If it was a behaviour that isn't acceptable from a bigger dog then it isn't acceptable from a small dog. So while you think something is cute - stop and think if a rottie did it would it be cute? If the answer is no, then you need to work more on the training.

Your dog does sound a bit of a twat to be honest, but it's young. My dog was a bit of a twat until he was about 18 months old, but then suddenly everything came together. He didn't do anything too bad - just kept trying new annoying things and had to be told 'no' all of the time.

Yours is getting a bit old to be chewing shoes, barking at horses/calves and chewing kitchen/floor - is it still doing it all of it or is it an old list of misdemeanors? If it's current, get it stopped for everybody's sake.

If the dog is pooping indoors still, then he isn't trained yet. The first few years of puppydom with chewing/general craziness can be nuts, but basic house training is generally something they pick up quite quickly. Take the pup to a dog behaviour specialist and get some tips on managing his behaviour.

Your fiancé did agree to the puppy but at the same time he probably wasn't factoring in you getting a particularly crazy pup. If you are genuinely asking the question, dog or man, then I think your relationship might have bigger problems than you realise.

Neither of us would want to give up our life together and he would never want to ask him to give up the dog, but he has voiced that the dogs behaviour is currently making him unhappy

I would naturally gravitate towards team dog, but your dog is being a twat and I think you owe it to your partner to make sure you acknowledge that to him and not minimise the behaviour.
I think for him, if you minimise the behaviour it would be even more frustrating as he would feel unheard.

Dog! You both decided to get the dog, my dogs are my babies with 4 legs lol if you had a child that misbehaved would you consider getting rid of the child? That's how I look at it lol I know people see differently but that is just my opinion 🥰 the dog will age and calm down, you may regret getting rid of the dog, and your partner should know how it would break your heart ❤

How the fuck does he shit in a cupboard?

In this case, the dog.
Dog has done nothing wrong, is simply a puppy who can be trained to behave. You love dogs, he hates them - non-compatible.

I would probably get rid of the dog. But, in defence of dogs, if it were the husband that had shit in the cupboard, I'd probably get rid of the husband. Y'know?

So he hates dogs and then he says ok get one (which was very considerate imo) but then you get a puppy.

Puppies are the worst!! Its like living with a nightmare terror 2 yo that never stops.
You should have thought it through a bit better and gotten an older (well established etc) dog from the pound. Now everyone is f*cked :(.

Dogs need firm leadership and what you've described in an out of control menace. Unless you're instructing him to chase calves then that's not obedience is it.

I thought people who live on farms (farmers?) don't keep their dogs in the house anyway? Typically they live in kennels or outbuildings. I certainly wouldn't have a dog that's not housetrained in the house unsupervised.

Maybe you could compromise with your husband and not keep the dog in the house when you're not there to supervise it?

Your guys didn't want a dog, you knew it. You got one anyway and it is not compatible with non-dog obsessed humans. There is no way I would tolerate all the things your puppy does. I mean feaces in the kitchen? How can you possibly think it is OK situation?
The situation is not your guy's fault, it is 100%on you. You wanted the dog, it is your job to sort it or indeed remove either the dog or the guy from the situation

@Iwonder08

Your guys didn't want a dog, you knew it. You got one anyway and it is not compatible with non-dog obsessed humans. There is no way I would tolerate all the things your puppy does. I mean feaces in the kitchen? How can you possibly think it is OK situation? The situation is not your guy's fault, it is 100%on you. You wanted the dog, it is your job to sort it or indeed remove either the dog or the guy from the situation

This is spot on.

You even seem to find it funny that the dog is so naughty. Your poor fiancé, you're letting the dog wreck his home life. Of course puppies can be a massive handful but why has it taken strangers on the web to get you to up the amount of training the dog is getting? You have v little respect for your fiancé.

I love dogs, but I wouldn't want a dog like yours. The behaviour seems totally out of control. I'm sure your fiance would have been perfectly happy with a well behaved dog. How old is the dog now? If he's a puppy, perhaps he will mature in time. Have you had him neutered? If not, get this done asap, as it will help.

Thankfully he is only small and not a larger dog or we really would have serious issues.

This is half the problem. It doesn’t matter that he’s small. You should be training him properly.
You keep stating you’re a responsible dog owner when you are quite the opposite - you’re the poor dog owner who gives others a bad name because you don’t take responsibility for your dogs bad behaviour because he’s small.

If I were your fiancé I would already have left

Yappy and unsuitable for farm life imo.

Dog. I don't understand why your fiancé is with you if he hates animals so much. You sound like chalk and cheese.

But it does sound as if you are not training the puppy properly if he is barking and chasing the other animals. Have you every owned a dog before?