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Original poster

Not invited to MIL Mother's Day meal

243 replies

Mamas123 · 22/03/2022 19:31

Basically what the title says... I haven't been invited for a weekend away or meal for Mother's Day by in laws?

Back story: I didn't attend SIL wedding as I had a sickness bug. I apologised and I was truly gutted that I could not attend. But ever since then, I have not had any contact with them (we usually message etc) and now I'm not invited to Mother's Day? My OH has been.

I don't know how to feel about this or what to do. How would you feel and would you say anything to OH or SIL or MIL?

OP posts:
Sammysees · 22/03/2022 19:32

Why is your OH attending if you haven’t been invited?

ComtesseDeSpair · 22/03/2022 19:33

Does SIL have a partner and are they invited? If not then I’d assume it’s a meal for MIL with her children.

Aria2015 · 22/03/2022 19:33

If you'd usually expect to be invited and feel like there is some bad feeling over your not attending the wedding (perfectly valid reason why btw!), I'd speak to your oh about it and let him sort it. Seems unkind if they're holding you being unwell (which can't be helped) and unable to attend an event against you.

AnnesBrokenSlate · 22/03/2022 19:34

Are other ILs invited or are they assuming they'll spend Mother's Day with their own mothers?

Original poster
Mamas123 · 22/03/2022 19:36

@ComtesseDeSpair

Does SIL have a partner and are they invited? If not then I’d assume it’s a meal for MIL with her children.
Yes SIL husband and child are attending
OP posts:
Babymamaroon · 22/03/2022 19:38

How was your DH invited? Did it explicitly exclude you?

Original poster
Mamas123 · 22/03/2022 19:39

@Aria2015

If you'd usually expect to be invited and feel like there is some bad feeling over your not attending the wedding (perfectly valid reason why btw!), I'd speak to your oh about it and let him sort it. Seems unkind if they're holding you being unwell (which can't be helped) and unable to attend an event against you.
I am usually invited to these things. We usually have Xmas at mine etc. I do think they are holding it against me. It's tricky talking to my OH about it as he lives with SIL and I'm worried it would cause family issues
OP posts:
Original poster
Mamas123 · 22/03/2022 19:41

@Babymamaroon

How was your DH invited? Did it explicitly exclude you?
It's OH mums Mother's Day (which I am usually invited to) OH just told me that he's going for a meal with his sister and her family and his mum but didn't mention me coming?
OP posts:
Traumdeuter · 22/03/2022 19:44

OH lives with SIL?

Shoxfordian · 22/03/2022 19:45

Do you live with him? How long have you been together? Ask him why you’re not invited

Iputthetrampintrampoline · 22/03/2022 19:45

If your oh will not speak out then there is nothing you can do,But if he is putting them and their pettiness before you and your feelings I wold be questioning where his loyalties lay and if he is indeed the man for you.

ComtesseDeSpair · 22/03/2022 19:45

You’ve posted a lot about this man and how he isn’t a great partner and is inconsiderate of your feelings. I’d use this opportunity to tell him you’ve had enough and end things, rather than broaden your general discontent into how his family behave towards you as well. It’s not going to get any better.

Original poster
Mamas123 · 22/03/2022 19:46

@Sammysees

Why is your OH attending if you haven’t been invited?
it's OH mums meal and he went to SIL (OHs Sisters) wedding which I didn't attend as I had sickness bug.
OP posts:
WTF475878237NC · 22/03/2022 19:47

Were you invited last year? Do they think you'll want to be with your own mother (if that's an option)?

Original poster
Mamas123 · 22/03/2022 19:48

@WTF475878237NC

Were you invited last year? Do they think you'll want to be with your own mother (if that's an option)?
Yes I'm always usaly invited.
OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 22/03/2022 19:48

How long have you been seeing him?

Original poster
Mamas123 · 22/03/2022 19:48

@Traumdeuter

OH lives with SIL?
His sister. My SIL. Sorry I may have confused people lol
OP posts:
SarahBellam · 22/03/2022 19:48

Looks like the SIL has organised this and excluded you. Your OH needs to sort it - assuming he wants to. You’ll need to ask him.

QuizzicalEyebrows · 22/03/2022 19:49

Time to move on from OH and his family methinks

QuizzicalEyebrows · 22/03/2022 19:49

I wouldn't put up with this crap life's too short

Original poster
Mamas123 · 22/03/2022 19:49

@Babymamaroon

How was your DH invited? Did it explicitly exclude you?
OH just told me that he's going away this weekend as my SIL has arranged a meal for their mum for Mother's Day.
OP posts:
MynameisJune · 22/03/2022 19:50

How long have you been together? Why does your OH live with his sister?

KylieCharlene · 22/03/2022 19:51

What does OH have to say on the matter?
He lives with Sil? so must have a good idea if you've been left out on purpose.
If he is going without you then it looks like he's happy to take their side in whatever they're holding against you ( obv the wedding).

Motnight · 22/03/2022 19:51

Op this relationship is dead. Just keep your dignity and lose your OH.

JacquelineCarlyle · 22/03/2022 19:51

How long have you been together? If you're not married nor live together and don't have children together, then I don't think it's unreasonable that he has lunch / time away with his mum and sister on Mother's Day.