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Original poster

Not invited to MIL Mother's Day meal

243 replies

Mamas123 · 22/03/2022 19:31

Basically what the title says... I haven't been invited for a weekend away or meal for Mother's Day by in laws?

Back story: I didn't attend SIL wedding as I had a sickness bug. I apologised and I was truly gutted that I could not attend. But ever since then, I have not had any contact with them (we usually message etc) and now I'm not invited to Mother's Day? My OH has been.

I don't know how to feel about this or what to do. How would you feel and would you say anything to OH or SIL or MIL?

OP posts:
Unsureaboutit9 · 22/03/2022 19:54

So you don’t live with your OH, and don’t have children together? I can’t see why you’d need to be invited to be honest.

Original poster
Mamas123 · 22/03/2022 19:57

@JacquelineCarlyle

How long have you been together? If you're not married nor live together and don't have children together, then I don't think it's unreasonable that he has lunch / time away with his mum and sister on Mother's Day.
We've been together 5 years. We was meant to get married last year but cancelled due to lockdown. I've always been invited and we always have Christmas etc together so very out of the blue to not be invited this time
OP posts:
AlisonDonut · 22/03/2022 19:59

I don't know what advice you are after to be honest.

Original poster
Mamas123 · 22/03/2022 19:59

I've asked him if I'm invited and he said he was unsure and would find out so will just wait to see. But I'm sure I'm being fizzled out because I didn't attend the in laws wedding.

OP posts:
Bananarama21 · 22/03/2022 19:59

You were almost married but you don't live together? Doesn't sound like a normal set up.

Iputthetrampintrampoline · 22/03/2022 19:59

If your oh is as flaky as this then ring MIL ask her if you need to bring anything and you are delighted to be seeing her ..you will soon know how the land lies then.

ImInStealthMode · 22/03/2022 20:00

If you've no children together and don't live together I couldn't get worked up about not being invited to his Mum's Mothers Day Lunch with her children, their spouses and grandchildren.

Is your own Mum in the picture? Do they assume you're seeing her?

Unsureaboutit9 · 22/03/2022 20:00

This is probably the first Mother’s Day meal out they’ve had in 3 years though cos of lock downs tho isn’t it?

Pixiedust1234 · 22/03/2022 20:00

There you have it. SIL organised it so she invites whoever she wants. Also her OH is going because they are married so it is DH not OH. You aren't married to yours so you aren't "real" family in their eyes.

The bottom line here though is that your boyfriend isn't fighting for you to be included. He doesn't care enough about your relationship. Time for you to do some reflecting on what you want in the future and whether you can accept him not wanting you around for all family occasions.

Original poster
Mamas123 · 22/03/2022 20:01

@Unsureaboutit9

This is probably the first Mother’s Day meal out they’ve had in 3 years though cos of lock downs tho isn’t it?
No we've had Mother's Day together before
OP posts:
Awrite · 22/03/2022 20:02

Your issue is not with mil and sil. It's with your OH.

I think the writing is on the wall if he would cast aside your feelings like this so easily.

Original poster
Mamas123 · 22/03/2022 20:03

@Awrite

Your issue is not with mil and sil. It's with your OH.

I think the writing is on the wall if he would cast aside your feelings like this so easily.

Possibly but OH said that SIL arranged it and will ask if I'm invited
OP posts:
RomeoMcFlourish · 22/03/2022 20:04

What a strange set up. Why does your OH live with SIL and not you?

Shinyandnew1 · 22/03/2022 20:04

You’re not married, you don’t live with your partner and this isn’t your SIL.

I’d run whilst I still could! Why does he live with his sister’s family and not you??

Original poster
Mamas123 · 22/03/2022 20:05

@RomeoMcFlourish

What a strange set up. Why does your OH live with SIL and not you?
Family reasons
OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 22/03/2022 20:07

You’re engaged, you don’t live together and his family have now basically ghosted you.

Unsureaboutit9 · 22/03/2022 20:07

@Awrite

Your issue is not with mil and sil. It's with your OH.

I think the writing is on the wall if he would cast aside your feelings like this so easily.

I disagree, they arnt married, don’t live together and don’t have kids. This is a family meal arranged for his mother for Mother’s Day, kicking off demanding his girlfriend also gets invited doesnt make him a decent person. If it were a party or a random meal for her OH or something then yeah absolutely, but it’s for Mother’s Day.
Bananarama21 · 22/03/2022 20:09

Are you living seperately so you can claim as a single parent?I can't fathom why you would be engaged and nto even living together.

stayathomer · 22/03/2022 20:09

Meant in the nicest possible way your sil's other half and child are invited because they've married into the family. Myself and dh did all those sorts of things separate until we lived together.

ProudThrilledHappy · 22/03/2022 20:13

Is this the lazy twat who does nothing to help when he’s staying at your place?

You really do have an OH problem, OP you deserve much better. How long do you intend to keep posting on here about his shitty behaviour before you recognise that he is not good enough?

Iputthetrampintrampoline · 22/03/2022 20:16

@ProudThrilledHappy

Is this the lazy twat who does nothing to help when he’s staying at your place?

You really do have an OH problem, OP you deserve much better. How long do you intend to keep posting on here about his shitty behaviour before you recognise that he is not good enough?

I agree OP you need to have some self worth and self respect. You should not be living life like this. Too scared to say anything or rock the boat, Be free find someone who will worship the ground you walk on and then you will be living.Don;t exist like this lovely its not worth it.
harriethoyle · 22/03/2022 20:17

They're not your in laws. You don't live with your boyfriend, to whom you are not yet married. Your boyfriend's sister is married to her husband and has kids with him. That's a huge difference. 🤷🏻‍♀️ it would be very odd imo for a girlfriend to be invited to someone else's mother's special lunch.

AnneLovesGilbert · 22/03/2022 20:18

Are you going to live together when you’re married? Why are you marrying someone you’ve never lived with, is it a religious thing?

It all sounds a bit odd tbh. I haven’t seen your other threads but what are the other issues? 5 years is a long time to be this insecure.

Gilly12345 · 22/03/2022 20:20

OH should be including you and if not he is accepting you as not part of his family.

Time for a serious conversation.

AnneLovesGilbert · 22/03/2022 20:21

Nope, actually I do remember you and a month ago you kicked him out and told him to get his own place. And you’re still planning to marry him?

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