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Original poster

Husband just bought home by police. Furious

622 replies

yellowelli · 12/03/2022 03:40

Husband went on an admittedly very rare night out tonight, first in years. He pre booked a taxi for 1am. It got to 1.45 and I was expecting him home, so I was awake anxious. Tried to text him and he didn't open them but kept going online on WhatsApp so was obviously ignoring me. Got to 2 I tried to phone and didn't answer. Could see on find my friends he was in a night club. Find my friends stopped updating his location shortly after now I know his phone had died. Apparently at some point he decided to walk home, we live a 40 minute drive away, so obviously wasn't going to happen. Police found him staggering alongside a main road. With no phone, no coat, in terrible driving conditions, absolute pouring rain. They couldn't get any sense out of him about where he lived he just kept saying if I walk straight I'll end up home. He's the most drunk I've ever seen him. They got his address of his license and I've never felt more bloody embarrassed than answering the door to two police man and a soaking, crying husband while very obviously pregnant. I'm so angry. He doesn't go out ever, I don't resent him letting loose or whatever but for a man in his fourties, with a toddler and a baby on the way, with a wife and two bloody kids to be so irresponsible to attempt to walk in such dangerous conditions on a dangerous road?! It's staggering?! He could of died and I'm so angry about it. He's snoring next to me now and I'm seething

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 12/03/2022 03:45

I’d be embarrassed as well.

He’d be so unattractive to me after that.

Original poster
yellowelli · 12/03/2022 03:47

Yes it's just so bloody immature. It's almost like an ick feeling looking at him now mixed with blind rage. An 18 year old maybe you could just about see the funny side once you got past the danger, but a grown man with two children? It's so out of character but it's just horrific behaviour. I couldn't do something that would risk taking me away from my kids like that. I'm angry that he could.

OP posts:
roastednut · 12/03/2022 03:50

I'd be furious too however I do feel sorry for him. Clearly it's not something he does often (unlike many!) (going out I mean!) and sometimes drink affects us differently. He may have even been been spiked.
He'll be feeling mortified when he wakes up. If he's not one for going out then he's not going to be doing it again in a hurry.
I'd be annoyed but couldn't be mad for too long. If my dh goes out then pre-booking a taxi is out of the question there's no way he'd want to potentially limit his fun (admittedly I'm not pregnant or with toddlers etc).

Doyoumind · 12/03/2022 03:50

Being angry will stop you from sleeping and make you feel shit whilst having no effect on him. He's been an idiot. If this is so unusual he'll likely learn his lesson. I'm surprised the police brought him home but it's the best possible outcome.

Catfox1 · 12/03/2022 03:50

Hope you manage to get some sleep. You’ll need the energy to kick his ass with in the morning 😳 seriously though hope you’re okay.

Luckingfovely · 12/03/2022 03:57

I'm sure you feel completely furious and disgusted with him right now.

However, you say that it is totally out of character... as a total one-off it seems forgivable, and as a pp said, you don't know the circumstances yet.

I suspect he'll be feeling bad enough in the morning that he'll have learnt a strong lesson!

GiantHaystacks2021 · 12/03/2022 03:58

They're always snoring like stuck pigs, while the wife is kept awake and fuming.

I'd kill him.

NashvilleQueen · 12/03/2022 04:01

Firstly he is safe. Secondly the police brought him home rather than him being in trouble for something so that's also good. Thirdly you say he doesn't do this sort of thing as a rule.

I would try and get some sleep and find out what went on from him when he's had time to recover. There could have been something beyond him just getting too pissed It sounds like it's out of character for him so assuming he understands the risk he put himself in and why he needs to be more in control in the future I would let it go.

Try and get some sleep. I think some of your reaction is relief that he's ok turned to anger. See how you feel tomorrow.

Bubbles1st · 12/03/2022 04:03

I would definitely be forging a letter with a police logo on as he slept to hand him in the morning advising him of his dangerous and risky behaviour and inviting him to attend a session on how to behave appropriately.

As the letter went on I would end it with this session is not mandatory if a fine is paid to you his wife.

But that's just my humour, getting across how bloody stupid he is and how angry you are topped off with you owe me big time, for embarrassment if nothing else.

sashh · 12/03/2022 04:05

He'll feel bad in the morning and might not remember getting home.

So prepare some highly amusing anecdotes for the morning.

If he rarely goes out he might not know his limit, or he does but went past it and then there is the possibility of his friends egging him on.

BuffyFanForever · 12/03/2022 04:11

To be fair he probably really isn’t used to drinking in quantities and just went abit to far. You said yourself he doesn’t do it often. He was trying to get home it’s not like he was trying to get somewhere else is it! He made an error of judgement but don’t be too harsh.

Justmuddlingalong · 12/03/2022 04:21

His reaction to the truth when he awakens and sobers up is the most important thing, IMO. He'll either be mortified, apologetic and listen to your concerns or minimise his behaviour, the outcome and how it's never happened before. I would have a calm discussion and watch his reaction very carefully.

toomanydogsandcats · 12/03/2022 04:38

@Justmuddlingalong

His reaction to the truth when he awakens and sobers up is the most important thing, IMO. He'll either be mortified, apologetic and listen to your concerns or minimise his behaviour, the outcome and how it's never happened before. I would have a calm discussion and watch his reaction very carefully.
This. As long as he is sorry and embarrassed, give the poor guy a break. Sounds like he doesn't have much time to himself usually. Maybe you should both try to get out more, sounds like he was a bit over excited.
avamiah · 12/03/2022 04:39

Firstly I’d like to say that i don’t wish to offend OP but I have literally just laughed out loud after reading how her husband told the police that if he walks straight he will end up home.hahaha

No harm was done and he got home safe and at the end of the day he was spotted by the police who of course had a duty of care to stop and check he was ok and after finding his address from his licence took him home.

Everything ended well .

bouncydog · 12/03/2022 04:41

Don’t try to reason with him in the morning as if he was that bad he’ll not really take much in. I would go out for the day with your toddler and ignore him until he’s completely sober otherwise it will be like talking to the wall!

toomanydogsandcats · 12/03/2022 04:43

hope you are ok wtf? An independent adult went out and got pissed.

WTF475878237NC · 12/03/2022 04:46

He got lucky didn't he. Could have ended so badly. I really hope he's contrite and genuine in his apology tomorrow once he's sobered up. Try listening to a podcast to wind down a bit now and rest.

PartyPlan · 12/03/2022 04:47

There was a young man last month who was knocked down on a road while walking home from a night out. Absolutely terrible for the family. I would be fuming OP. At least it’s a one off.

MNCar · 12/03/2022 05:00

I know of a few people in local area who died after being drunk, walking home and being hit by car.

Hope he is suitably shocked in morning. It does sound like he simply drank too much

OhThatChicken · 12/03/2022 05:01

@GiantHaystacks2021

They're always snoring like stuck pigs, while the wife is kept awake and fuming.

I'd kill him.

Well that escalated quickly Hmm
LadyPropane · 12/03/2022 05:13

Take some deep breaths and try to let it go for now. You have every right to be angry about this BUT right now it is night time and you need to get some sleep.

Maybe focus on thoughts of your new baby, how you'll decorate the nursery etc. Just try and put this out of your mind.

Hopefully in the morning there will be a very heartfelt apology. He owes you that. So long as he is truly remorseful I would just forgive him. You've said yourself he never usually does stuff like this. We are allowed occasional fuck ups. Maybe there's something going on with him and he needs to open up to you about it.

TheCurrywurstPrion · 12/03/2022 05:37

Hopefully he’ll be genuinely remoresful, but if he tries to minimise it, point out that had things ended only slightly differently, you’d be the one who had to try to explain to her children when they were old enough, why they had no dad.

Ddot · 12/03/2022 05:40

It's very tempting to lay into him verbally but best to say nothing. If pressed just shrug. That way no argument, he will feel worse that you cant even be bothered to have a go, which he will be waiting for. You will get your apology and some flowers and it wont happen again. Big row when he is hungover will cause him to feel resentful because it was a mistake and nobody wins

Balanced12 · 12/03/2022 05:46

Yes he's been very stupid.
BUT it's out of character a one off, we all make mistakes and alcohol hardly helps decision making.

You have every right to be annoyed but iy turned out OK very different if it happened again

Libertybear80 · 12/03/2022 05:58

He never goes out?! Give the poor guy a break and be thankful the police did find him and he wasn't hit by a car!

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