Choking during sex, is this normal

[IsThisNormalOr]

I went on a date last night and we ended up getting drunk and having sex. Everything was fine and I was enjoying it but at one point when he was on top of me he put his hands around my neck for a few seconds (not hard, and then he stopped and we switched positions) I didn't say anything. Is this normal? I've never experienced it before. We got on well and he wants to see me again...

No.

For some people, it might be. But for two people who do not know eachother well, and have not discussed boundaries and consent, then no, no it's not.

To me, this should only be done during sex if there has been a conversation about it beforehand and both parties have agreed. And even then the use of a safe word would be required - even if it's just for a few seconds.

Red flag

RUN.

No way

I imagine he watches a lot of porn.

I like it but no way on a first date and definitely without a prior conversation. Do not have a second date it is a massive red flag

Definitely not. It’s a big red flag unless you’ve properly discussed and agreed it beforehand - and a sign of too much porn consumption.

Absolutely not, and not without a serious chat first.

Run. Don’t look back

No not normal at all, a huge red flag!

Do not see him again.

Did you put your hands around HIS throat when you switched positions?

Jesus. On the first date OP? Why. Onto the next one.

No

If he didn't ask for consent and / or if you weren't comfortable with it then it's not ok. I don't think it's something you should try out spontaneously on your partner without finding out first if it's ok with them.

What seems to be becoming more normal is young women being coerced into thinking it's normal and something they have to go through even if they don't like it.

There have been too many cases recently in the news about women being killed by choking during sex apparently having gone too far. It's definitely something that is should be agreed on by both partners and should come with strict rules when and how to stop.

What @Eims88 said.
I personally would be ending it there as its a red flag that it has been done without prior discussion, safe word agreement and explicit consent on that occasion even if only for a few seconds it's not something you just do out of the blue even with a longer term sexual partner.

There’s an article about it on the FiLiA website that might be helpful. Sounds dodgy as fuck to me but some men’s magazines actually promote it.

www.filia.org.uk/latest-news/2020/7/30/strangulation-isnt-a-fetish-1

No, I'm definitely not a weirdo. I'm fairly newish to the site but have name changed for this post. Such a shame as we got on so well, I thought maybe it was because we were both absolutely wasted but it seems to be a red flag.

What are you expecting from this thread OP? If everyone piled on saying it’s normal does that make it ok? it’s not normal btw, as pp have said it’s from porn

No

Men strangulate women to death during sex then they say she wanted it and get away with murder. I'd run if I were you.

Yeah that would be enough for me to block block block!

In what way would you think think this is normal and ok OP? He put his hands on your neck as if to choke you during sex on a first date! FFS OP !