Choking during sex, is this normal

[IsThisNormalOr]

I went on a date last night and we ended up getting drunk and having sex. Everything was fine and I was enjoying it but at one point when he was on top of me he put his hands around my neck for a few seconds (not hard, and then he stopped and we switched positions) I didn't say anything. Is this normal? I've never experienced it before. We got on well and he wants to see me again...

There is no argument Its absolutely necessary that everyone knows the facts and be fully aware of the risks for their own safety before they make a choice to engage in such acts. I think sadly it’s come to the point where we all need to be aware especially those who are dating. I truly hope bluesberry you go away and do some further research for your own safety

Porn sites should have to advise this on such films as I don’t think we will get them taken off site though that would be the preferable response but then it pushes it to sites that can’t be controlled sites such as Porn Hub could do this (maybe MN needs a campaign on how to make sure we are all made aware of safer sex as that no longer just means a man wearing a condom)

Returning to thread and see massively derailment.
Whether or not it’s a trend or a kink or always dangerous (would assume inherently) or part of violence towards women.

The point is it is NEVER normal to test if someone consents to asphyxiation BY JUST DOING IT during sex on a date. That’s not ok or normal.

@AlisonDonut

Anyway I don't want to derail the thread further and as I said I don't feel that I can contribute any further to the topic of choking because of certain posters so I am out!!

You are out because people quote your words? You have no credible argument, that is why you are out.

Lol

You do not quote my words. You misquote my words or twist them...just like you have done once again!!!

bluesberry your words posted yesterday morning

If only some of us women would stop indulging in our kink safely, maybe these men wouldn’t turn into murdering scumbags

The kink being discussed can not be done safely. You should know this as you claim to indulge in this safely

If you and others that act out this believe it’s being done safely this could very well lead to death accidentally or could be intentional but the charge should always been intentional because the very act is a extremely risky

Of course it can never be done with 100% certainty that something won't go wrong (though it might be unlikely if the choker does it pretty much symbolically/lightly.)

So it's called Risk Aware Consensual Kink.

But someone can't be consenting to a risk, or an activiity, if they don't know the risky act is going to be done to them.

You do not quote my words. You misquote my words or twist them...just like you have done once again!!!

Every time, I literally quoted your words.

As in I put my mouse and highlighted your actual words. Pressed 'copy', moved my mouse somewhere else, pressed 'paste' and then put * around it to highlight it.

That is usually referred to as 'quoting' you. Because I quoted what you said. I do not change these words. I respond to them.

If what you are typing is not what you are meaning, that is not my problem to solve.

Do they really not get it? Or is the answer 'I understand the point but I don't care because I like it' ?

Yeah, I could go with this. Similarly, like you, I know it is more ethical and moral to not eat dead animals, but I do it because it tastes good.

I know that running my washing machine so much and on such a high heat isn't good for the environment, but I do it because I want to.

I know that lots of things I do are just because I like them, even when you know the wider implications.

But also, many things as do are risky personally anyway and are done "just for a thrill". Jumping off very high cliffs into the sea, even when organised with a company, can lead to paralysis and death if you do not land correctly or you slip, but people do it for their own excitement.

Jumping off very high cliffs into the sea, even when organised with a company, can lead to paralysis and death if you do not land correctly or you slip, but people do it for their own excitement.

Which is why no one has the right to push you without your consent, off a very high cliff because they think you'll get a kick out of it.

And why people who do this, are fully aware in advance, that they could die. They are much better informed about the risks of what they're doing, than the women who believe there is a safe way to strangle someone. There is no safe way to strangle someone, there is always a risk and anyone who engages in this needs to understand that so that they can make a genuinely informed choice.

Which is why no one has the right to push you without your consent, off a very high cliff because they think you'll get a kick out of it.

Yep, of course, and the same would apply to choking, of course nobody should push someone into it.

And why people who do this, are fully aware in advance, that they could die.

Yes, and it should be the same way with anything that has that potential, as you say, choking carries a risk of a death.

I agree with you.

@givingupchocolatemonday

I don't think Mumsnet is the place to ask this question... to me it's normal! Just a 'kink' some people have. Doesn't mean he wanted to strangle and kill you. PP are very dramatic.

Then you have to check that the other person is also into this kink! Don't call it a kink in this cool way and then be so totally ignorant about how kinks, especially dangerous ones, should be managed.

I would be absolutely petrified if a virtual stranger, the first time we had sex and with no prior consent, put his hands around my throat and started to choke me. How do you know the difference between an idiot with a kink and someone trying to harm you? Terrifying.