Tick tock: the one where Geller discovers Polly is no longer a doormat

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

AKA Co-parenting: I do not think it means what you think it means

Here we go again my lovelies! Will this be the one where I finally get divorced?!

Previous thread here

I have clock news! Turns out, no one wants it. Quelle surprise. Could I sell it? No, sez I, it’s worth ha’penny tuppence on a good day. Plus, no time.

Ha ha.

I suggested, because I am a kind hearted soul and because it’s already in a box and I don’t know which one that they keep the clock face and I get rid of the mechanism and the case. That appears to be a reasonable compromise. Pass me an axe.

The reason for the clock conversation? My brother phoned. My mother has given away my grandfather’s WW1 medals to a museum. WTF?! We’re going to try and get them back. She can’t see what she’s done wrong.

Solicitors on the other side for the house purchase are useless. Estate agent spoke to them today. They are awaiting proof of ID and funds on account?! WTF. I lost my shit a bit. I’d just come back from having a filling so I sounded three gins down, which I’m sure added to the effect.

Oh, and I haven’t stopped laughing for the last hour. A friend has found Geller’s profile on a dating app. It contains such gems as ‘addressing climate change one word at a time in my career as a professional’ and goes on to claim he ‘always has time’

Given me the best laugh I’ve had since my solicitor said she’d call me just to be sure that I wanted to file for absolute once the finance order is made…

Anyway, buckle up loves. It’ll be a ride, as ever…glad you could join me.

No criticism intended, just not a top rated romantic mini break destination !

Manchester is my nearest proper city - I would cry at a romantic break there in March, it will surely rain???

So many lovely areas in the Peak District or Ribble Valley.

Yes, absolutely nothing against Manchester, but the time of year coupled with tight fisted Geller is not going to make it the most wonderful romantic retreat.

He's getting a bit optimistic that the latest victim is going to hang around that long, isn't he? Or is a moveable feast where whoever is daft enough to be there at the time suddenly gets surprised with being whisked away to the glamorous bright lights of Salford. Ah well, he can always go by himself - it's only a base, after all.

Back to school soon - you'll be able to breathe again.

Sounds like my ex; he bought an engagement ring for one woman, she broke up with him before he proposed, so he was straight onto the next one, and put the ring on her finger with alarming speed instead!

That did make me giggle Polly. Sorry to hear things are tough at the moment. As everyone else said you may be able to grab some more yiu time once the dollies are back in school. I presume the parents are being sent home soon?? You've still got this even if it feels like you haven't!

Thanks for the cheerleading folks! I needed it. It lifted me right up.

Used my folks for good and nipped off for a yoga class last night, then once they left this morning I got my trainers on and went for a run! Only managed 28 minutes but the first one in two months. Feel a lot better for it. Suspect I’ll be in better shape after the weekend ends, as the Dollies are with Geller and I have every intention of just looking after me. Got a couple of nice low key things booked with friends on Saturday, but otherwise will keep things calm.

yes, I’ve been doing my meditation! Calm is my app of choice, love it. Keeps me sane.

My folks drove down. Well, my mother did. Which prompted a conversation with my father last night about how I don’t think she should be driving any more. He agreed but said that she wouldn’t, it would be really hard to deal with her, and I said that it would be even harder for me to deal with losing both parents in an entirely preventable car crash. I’ve said my piece. It’ll be a battle though.

I’ve not done the Freedom Programme, but you’ve reminded me that my therapist also wanted me to do it. Will have a look next week once the Dollies are back at school.

No shade on Manchester at all (and I say that as someone from the right side of the Pennines 🤣) but honestly…

oh!! So we’re talking the other night and my bloody mother reveals she’s still emailing Geller. That he’s considering leaving where he works and moving into the same sector I’m in, and will that cause me any problems? So many things wrong with that, the least of my concerns is that he’s planning on moving companies. Which, by the way, he’s been trying to do for years, but I have few worried will ever happen. She just can’t see that she’s doing wrong by being in touch with him. So my barriers go up a bit more…

Your mother & Geller the gifts that just keep on giving 😳

Definitely means your Mother will get less and less information going forward. She has no loyalty to you at all. It's quite awful.

Wow to your mother emailing Geller!

The weekend of self care sounds just the ticket.

I had to laugh at Geller's romantic weekend planning. He just needs to hang onto a woman for long enough! How did you put up with him as long as you did?

At the end of the day your DM and others can be in touch with him if they want (why, who knows?). They don’t need to tell you and you don’t need to know. This is what I mean about getting him out of your head. He’s taking up far too much space. It’s often the case that the relationship dynamic continues even after separation . That’s the case here in terms of him still trying to control. Hard to break I know.

Glad you’re going to do Freedom Programme , it is really worth it.

Can you tell your father that you will not tolerate her meddling in your affairs, that if she has no loyalty to You as her own daughter, then not only will you not be sharing any personal information or news with them, but they are best not visiting, as she is shit stirring. Life is hard enough without untrustworthy family interfering.

@Mix56 Telling dad this will be a total waste of oxygen. He has been enabling her since time immemorial and won’t change.

Yes, probably, but he may need as much support as Polly can provide as her mother gets increasingly erratic.
It might be worth a a go.

I’m not entirely sure she has dementia. I think she has a raging personality disorder and the scattiness could be explained with that.

Either way if she's not safe, wait a few weeks and report her anonymously to the DVLA. I say wait so that you can claim no knowledge, someone must have seen her driving erratically near home.....

Sorry obvs with regard to the dodgy driving, the being in touch with Gellar, don't think you can solve other than sharing nothing about your own life and only discussing the Dollies.

Or she met a kindred spirit in him, and is enjoying his help in trying to 'destroy' Polly for whatever idiot reason she has.

Or Mr Collins

I absolutely envision Geller as a cross between Mr Bean and Mr Collins. A touch of Heathcliff’s gaslighting too. (Absolutely will never believe that is a romance story, but one of psychological abuse.)

Your mum can be used as a 'conduit of intel' from Geller as well as a 'feeder' of no or wrong intel TO him. IMHO that's the only reason he's keeping in touch with her in the first place: to try and ferret out info on you. Turn the tables on him if and when you need to.

Slightly off thread, but that book is my favourite and I couldn't agree with you more! A masterclass in control, coercion and manipulation.

Thank you @dexterslockedintheshedagain … I was in enormous trouble in yr 9 when I said something to that effect to my English teacher.

Oh yes now that you've said that @Fraaahnces I can totally see Gellar as creepy Mr Collins, yuck.

i can’t take credit - but he is absolutely just as icky in my mind. It was @CliffsofMohair