Would you put up with being called these names?

[ilovesparky]

I have just had DH in my face. Calling me a cunt, bitch and knob. Trying to intimidate me so I had to push him back. All very load so the dcs can hear. I am in tears. He flies off the handle and then thinks it's ok to speak like this . Apparently I fuelled the argument by not backing down. I don't think it's my responsibility. He's called me bitch and tells me to f* off quite regularly. He's very childish and whites instead of having a calm discussion about something. Nothing is his fault.

So, we ve been away and I packed the car up to let DH do a final check of the house for his stuff and to check doors locked etc as I know he gets funny about it. I thought I was being nice.

Meanwhile I packed up the car. This was all the stuff I had put by the door to go directly in the car. He packed his own suitcase and I shut it snd put it in the car. There were a few loose items in the car which I didn't take any notice of before putting cases etc in. DH constantly packs things last minute and loose because he's disorganised. This annoys me so I just left these things in the car.

Before we leave I get questioned about where x and y is. I don't know, I am fed up with being responsible for his stuff. I pack my stuff, the kids stuff and food. As far as I am concerned the rest is his. So we are then late as he has to find things. I shout down to him that they are in the car- I see them as I put the last bags in.

We get home, he's left his slippers. Apparently that's my fault as I packed the car. I packed a couple of his coats which I noticed on the side which were about to be left. But because I didn't pack his slippers snd only packed some stuff it's all my fault. Is this right? I don't think so. He packs his own things. I never said I would pack his.

He has form for this. Always someone else's fault if he looses something, hasn't got the right stuff. My fault. I rushed him, I didn't let him think, I packed some stuff but not the rest. Which isn't true. I don't pack anything for him except doing him a favour packing two coats he was about to leave as I saw them. I am fed up with it.

@WouldIwasShookspeared

Would you do me a favour? Go to your op, select see all and read through everything you've written. Properly read it. Imagine it's not you that wrote them. Imagine your child is grown up and they have written these posts about their spouse.

Would you tell them to hang in there? To change themselves in order to pacify their spouse? Would you tell them what a good parent their spouse is, how they aren't damaging the children at all and that your child must try harder in order to save the marriage? Would you reassure them that it's ok to be told to fuck off, called a bitch and other names? Would you say look, you were only called a cunt once, it's ok as long as it's not regular. The kids will get over it. Just stay and stop doing the things that make your spouse angry?

Yes, I know I would advise them not to put with it. I am not putting up with it. DH has agreed to counselling and this time he has actually arranged it. When we have talked about it before he said he would and didn't.

He still says I got him frustrated though, I am hard to argue with. I feel like he's still blaming me but is now very apologetic. I have said I would not tolerate it again and I won't.

Well. Good luck. I hope it works out for you.

You are right re blaming you. Apologetic isn't "I'm sorry but really it's your fault because you..."