@Wolfie11
Hi
*@WeWantTheFinestWines*! A bit meh really is a great way to describe it. I’ve paused both Tinder and POF for now. I did put a little detail in my profile and mentioned I have a child and that I’m a massive geek who loves things like Harry Potter, LOTR etc - I thought that would put some people off but I don’t even think they’re reading it, just looking at the photos. I even put up a no make up, sweaty hill walk photo! Fish photo is a great idea 😂.
I’ve heard good things about Bumble so I might scrap POF and Tinder and restart on there. I’m only really looking for a FWB style arrangement for now with someone who’s not a weirdo or a creep! I thought that would be really easy to find but now I think I’m being a bit naive!
Own your interests. There's no use pretending to follow the crowd in order to attract someone who - after three weeks of messaging - will turn out to be incompatible with you, when someone who might share your interests (or even have different, but not-incompatible interests) would otherwise have just skipped past you. No point wasting yours or their time.
Personally a HP fan would have been a reason to think about swiping right. I'm not into LOTR but Shore's soundtrack is an incredible suite so I could enjoy it in my own way (see what I mean about different, but not-incompatible interests).
As for sweaty hillwalking photos, I can assure you that they are much more likely to get a right swipe from me than the reams of caked-on make up pouting selfies I swiped left on this evening. Not everyone is after the wannabe Kim Kardashians. I've found myself swiping right on some of the influencer-type profiles, inexplicably matching, suddenly realising "What did I swipe right here for? We've nothing apparently in common", and not messaging.
So own your interests, rather than concealing them because of what you think someone wants to be reading.
I even saw a twentysomething woman's profile which said something along the lines of "I'm in recovery, I don't mind if you drink but if you're always clubbing then I'm probably not for you". Half of me was feeling impressed at her honesty and courage, the other half was thinking "that's a relief, people whose lives revolve around getting whammed on a Saturday night bore me shitless so this could work".
Bumble seems to attract a better clientele than Tinder. I can also recommend Hinge for quality over quantity.
I tried out a newish app called "Turnup" which focuses on music preferences. Thinking about it, music preferences are a bigger deal than any other interests because unless you're going to always wear headphones, you're going to end up inflicting your music choices upon each other, so it's important that you don't hate each other's music. It sounds like a good concept for a dating app. Trouble is that like all new dating apps it doesn't seem to have the numbers yet. Numbers are an issue for anyone living outside of a city, and it's been a reminder of just how niche my choices are among my age group.
With that in mind, my Tinder and Bumble profiles have now been updated to hint at my love of opera. Just in case someone picks up on it, without being too blatant as to put off people who may believe the popular misconceptions about elitism. I did once get chatting during an interval to an American theatre student who was doing a term in London. It wouldn't have gone anywhere as I live hundreds of miles away, and her term in the UK was just finishing but it just felt great to have a conversation with someone (who wasn't old enough to be my parent) about a shared interest.