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Original poster

Met a wonderful man. But...

256 replies

Hadharra · 31/01/2022 06:51

He smells! I don't know what it is, but it's almost like mould. He showers once a day and twice if he's been at work. When I've spent a few days with him his hygiene is impeccable. I'm not sure if it's because he eats a lot of garlic, has a mould problem, or leaves his hair wet etc, but I don't think I can do it. Wtf do I do? I can't dump someone I Really like and could actually see myself settling down with, who my son likes, because he smells? Do I tell him? Ffs this is so daft!

OP posts:
AlternativePerspective · 31/01/2022 06:53

Move on. At the moment he’s likely making the effort when he’s with you to impress. But if you end up living together and the longer you stay together the more he will let his standards slip.

Get rid.

QuiteAtALoss · 31/01/2022 06:54

No way. This won't get better!

Essexmummy88 · 31/01/2022 06:56

Is it his breath? His clothes? Or literally the naked him straight out of a shower still smells?

FirstTimeSecondTime · 31/01/2022 06:57

Could it be a residual smell from his house or clothes. Does his house smell? Is he not drying or storing his clothes properly?

mnahmnah · 31/01/2022 06:58

I reckon it will be his clothes, either his machine not washing them properly, or he lets them sit in there too long afterwards before drying them. Or he dries them somewhere it takes too long. Have you ever had that happen with your washing? That damp musty smell? Or is it a different smell?

Original poster
Hadharra · 31/01/2022 06:58

It's not BO though and he always smells clean in a sense that he's wearing deodorant, aftershave, can smell shampoo in his hair etc. We've been seeing each other a while and I know him through mutual friends and there is zero indication he doesn't look after himself. I just can't believe I've met someone so wonderful and this one thing is ruining it

OP posts:
Original poster
Hadharra · 31/01/2022 06:59

@mnahmnah

I reckon it will be his clothes, either his machine not washing them properly, or he lets them sit in there too long afterwards before drying them. Or he dries them somewhere it takes too long. Have you ever had that happen with your washing? That damp musty smell? Or is it a different smell?
Yes it's this kind of smell!
OP posts:
NotNowAlan · 31/01/2022 07:02

Is it mildew on his clothes? He maybe leaves them too long in the machine after the wash, or dries them slowly on an airer in a cold room. I'd find out rather than dump a good man for something so easy to resolve.

anniewaitsforacall · 31/01/2022 07:04

Definitely his clothes. And he's probably got so used to it he doesn't smell it any more. Can you stay over and stealthily do a 90C service wash in his machine?! But how he dries the washing, or if he's leaving it sitting in machine for ages before handing could be the issue which is harder to fix.

Is there any way you can just have the conversation without being rude? You know it's not his personal hygiene and can blame it on you always having had a sensitive nose. Better than breaking up over it.

It's not at all silly, I'm really sensitive to that smell too. I am militant about getting the clothes out of machine quickly or else I have to re wash the lot as I can't stand it.

MaitlandGirl · 31/01/2022 07:04

Does it still happen when you wash his clothes? I only say this as DS1 smells awful when he washes his own clothes as he overloads the machine, doesn’t use enough washing powder and puts his clothes away damp.

If I wash his clothes everything is fine.

Hopefully it’s as easy to fix for you as it was for us (lessons in using the machine properly and an in wash germ killing treatment).

Original poster
Hadharra · 31/01/2022 07:05

@NotNowAlan

Is it mildew on his clothes? He maybe leaves them too long in the machine after the wash, or dries them slowly on an airer in a cold room. I'd find out rather than dump a good man for something so easy to resolve.
Yes he dries them on an airer in a cold room. I dry my clothes on an airer too but they never smell bad (in fact they smell lovely!), but I dry them in a large room.
OP posts:
girlmom21 · 31/01/2022 07:06

It's his clothes. He probably puts a wash on before work and leaves them in the machine all day.

Original poster
Hadharra · 31/01/2022 07:06

@MaitlandGirl

Does it still happen when you wash his clothes? I only say this as DS1 smells awful when he washes his own clothes as he overloads the machine, doesn’t use enough washing powder and puts his clothes away damp.

If I wash his clothes everything is fine.

Hopefully it’s as easy to fix for you as it was for us (lessons in using the machine properly and an in wash germ killing treatment).

I've never washed his clothes before haha!
OP posts:
burnthur5t · 31/01/2022 07:06

Clothes not having been dried fully

Talk to him, ask him how he dries his washing

Original poster
Hadharra · 31/01/2022 07:08

Oh god I have to tell him don't I. I'd be really upset if it were me. How do I do it?!

OP posts:
Thevoiceofreason2021 · 31/01/2022 07:09

Ask him how he dries his clothes as they smell damp

StillWalking · 31/01/2022 07:12

Start a conversation about you considering buying a new tumble dryer or one of those heated airer things. It might open up a chat about his own clothes drying habits.

Don't give up on him yet OP. Good luck .....

FindingMeno · 31/01/2022 07:12

It's definitely his clothes.
You're going to have to find some way to let him know.
Perhaps snuggle, and say " oh, this smells like it's been damp too long after washing" to start with.

southlondoner02 · 31/01/2022 07:13

He probably just needs to clean his washing machine and doesn't realise.

cookiemonster2468 · 31/01/2022 07:17

Sounds like his clothes as others have said. Could you be with an adult who doesn't know how to wash his clothes properly though?

Blinkingheckythump · 31/01/2022 07:20

Jesus christ if you can't tell him his clothes smell musty you seriously shouldn't be in a relationship with him!

girlmom21 · 31/01/2022 07:20

@cookiemonster2468

Sounds like his clothes as others have said. Could you be with an adult who doesn't know how to wash his clothes properly though?
It's not a case of not washing his clothes properly. It's probably because he dries them in a cold small room like OP said.

You stop noticing regular smells yourself so if nobody's pointed it out to him he probably doesn't know he smells musty.

Eddielzzard · 31/01/2022 07:20

When he takes something off, surreptitiously smell it. Smell his skin. See if you can locate the source.

GreenOlivesinGin · 31/01/2022 07:21

We had the same issue for a while and it was the washing machine, and therefore the clothes.

Toanewstart22 · 31/01/2022 07:21

He’s no wonderful op
He really really isn’t

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