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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Met a wonderful man. But...

256 replies

Hadharra · 31/01/2022 06:51

He smells! I don't know what it is, but it's almost like mould. He showers once a day and twice if he's been at work. When I've spent a few days with him his hygiene is impeccable. I'm not sure if it's because he eats a lot of garlic, has a mould problem, or leaves his hair wet etc, but I don't think I can do it. Wtf do I do? I can't dump someone I Really like and could actually see myself settling down with, who my son likes, because he smells? Do I tell him? Ffs this is so daft!

OP posts:
Tabitha888 · 31/01/2022 07:50

Sounds like it's the clothing, maybe he can't afford heating atm. If we dry our clothing wrong in our flat it smells of damp if done wrong. Xx

Lovemusic33 · 31/01/2022 07:50

I’m guessing it will be his clothes, I dated someone who smelt of damp and it was because he wasn’t drying his clothes properly (didn’t have a tumble dryer or a clothesline), I think he was drying his clothes in a cold damp room.

goldensilver · 31/01/2022 07:50

My friend and her whole family smell like this. It's definitely their house and/or their clothes. Musty, damp smell.
If we ever go to visit then our clothes smell like it too.

Blueysmom · 31/01/2022 07:51

I’d play it all breezy, like it’s the first time you’ve noticed if that makes it an easier conversation for you to have. Just casually ask can you smell that? Then go down the oh I think it’s your clothes, is your washing machine playing up?
Failing that suggest a heated airer?

OddSocksSparklyDocsandDungaree · 31/01/2022 07:52

@Toanewstart22

Imagine him as a colleague OP He will be the harmless guy but everyone avoids he smells out the office Imagine lying in bed with him Curled up on the sofa Shudder
@Toanewstart22 You are incredibly rude.
catbsfhs · 31/01/2022 07:52

His clothes smelling will be a lot easier to fix than if it was HIM that smelt though lack of hygiene. Naturally spark up a conversation about clothes washing habits. If he doesn't get the hint, tell him about his smelly clothes but I'd just stress that you know that he isn't a dirty, unhygienic person and you're telling him because you see a strong future with him. People telling you to leave him over this issue without talking to him first are pathetic. Do you hate seeing people happy? OP has said he is fully capable of keeping himself clean and smelling nice.

WashingMachineCrisis · 31/01/2022 07:52

Could it be coming from his car? Full disclosure this used to happen to me as my car was damp and it made me smell even if my clothes and body were clean. I hated it but couldn’t afford a new one.

Dibbydoos · 31/01/2022 07:52

It could be he has TMAU? He needs to see a doctor. Also this article is interesting www.bbc.com/future/article/20210621-why-single-people-smell-different.

I saw a guy for a nano second (one date) who had a fragrance, not initially but as the date wore on. He talked to me about allsorts and I found he'd lived in Africa and had taken on the habit of washing without soap. I think you can wash without soap, but you have to do that more frequently than daily!

I hate to say this but it would put me off someone:(

corlan · 31/01/2022 07:53

My ex was like this. Showered twice a day, washed and dried his clothes properly, yet there was always an odd, fusty smell about him.
I found out in time that it was actually the festering evil inside him seeping out.

rainbowsandmagpies · 31/01/2022 07:54

My husband was like this when I met him, I mentioned it, problem solved. Now we live together (obviously) and I do all our laundry while he does all our washing up and the problem is a distant memory

Beachbreak2411 · 31/01/2022 07:55

My ex was the same. It was his clothes 🤢 and by the end of our relationship he barely ever washed his clothes.. wore the same underwear several times (changed socks once a week). Yuck yuck

BobHadBitchTits · 31/01/2022 07:55

My clothes smell musty if they been in the shelve section of my wardrobe for too long. I've tried everything to stop it but the only thing that works is washing the clothes again. Bloody annoying!

catbsfhs · 31/01/2022 07:55

@corlan

My ex was like this. Showered twice a day, washed and dried his clothes properly, yet there was always an odd, fusty smell about him. I found out in time that it was actually the festering evil inside him seeping out.
😂😂
Dibbydoos · 31/01/2022 07:55

I just got back from someone's house and their cat smells. It's really unpleasant. Poor thingcwas knocked over, lost his tail and now doesn't clean himself well. I got home I smelt of him. I hadn't didn't been near him! I got undressed for bed and my room stank if him. Jeans in the kitchen ready to wash, smell gone! Clothes def pick up smells easily.... maybe it's hus house?!

chocolatemonster · 31/01/2022 07:56

Definitely worth fixing.

So many people out there with huge red ags and this isn't one of them!

Definitely powder and not pods. I recently invested in a dehumidifier with a laundry setting - best thing ever! Put on airers in our small spare room, shut the door away you go. After the initial outlay they are very cheap to run and so effective. Much better for your house than putting on radiators too.

Hope you can resolve it. Good luck

BabyInTheJungle · 31/01/2022 07:59

I had a family member like this. She and the family were all clean but their clothes somehow all smelt slightly damp. She moved house and got a tumble dryer, and it is much less noticeable now. I don't know whether it was her old machine or her old laundry routine. She didn't seem to notice it at all.

In the rest of her habits she is fastidiously clean!

CrunchyCarrot · 31/01/2022 07:59

His washing machine probably needs a good cleaning - 90 degree wash whilst empty. Otherwise clothes do come out smelling musty.

Would be a shame to break up over something that may be easily resolvable! Approach it as one poster said earlier. Blame yourself for having a sensitive nose, and say you've noticed a similar thing in the past when your washing machine needs a quick clean. Obviously avoid any reference that could be taken as him not being clean!

Wife2b · 31/01/2022 08:01

Defo sounds like his clothes. Happens to ours sometimes if we leave them in the machine too long. Don’t run for the hills yet OP.

DropYourSword · 31/01/2022 08:03

@corlan

My ex was like this. Showered twice a day, washed and dried his clothes properly, yet there was always an odd, fusty smell about him. I found out in time that it was actually the festering evil inside him seeping out.
Snort laughed at this!
JugglingJanuary · 31/01/2022 08:07

@Hadharra

Oh god I have to tell him don't I. I'd be really upset if it were me. How do I do it?!
You know those mutual friends....
CaMePlaitPas · 31/01/2022 08:09

You need to tell him.

PossiblyDreaming · 31/01/2022 08:09

Oh God, I’m in exactly the same situation OP. He washes regularly, wears clean clothes, his house is clean but I don’t know what it is. It seems to come from his face and hands particularly and I’m now at the point where I’m considering breaking things off as I cannot bear to sleep next to him as he keeps putting his arm round me and I can smell patches on myself wear he’s touched me 🤢.

Hopefully with your guy it’s just his washing machine. Could you spill something on your clothes or something when you’re there next meaning that they need to go in the washing machine? Then when it comes out mention how awful it smells and try and “work out” what might be causing it together?

AnnaSW1 · 31/01/2022 08:09

How old is he? I can smell Parkinson's and it smells musty even when people are clean

Suprima · 31/01/2022 08:10

@girlmom21 it’s not bitterness- it’s the fact that my clitoris would shrivel up the moment I had to teach a man how to wash his own clothes Confused

UserBot9to5 · 31/01/2022 08:11

I used to work with a very well-liked and confident man who smelled of hair grease and a few other milder odours. He had a lovely girlfriend. I used to wonder if her sense of smell was damaged. Funny to hear people describe this as basic adulting. I guess that is true.

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