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Original poster

Partner threw baby's jumparoo

239 replies

confusedandupset22 · 09/01/2022 18:08

I have NC for this but I post regularly.

I have an almost 9 month old baby. Tonight my partner threw the baby's jumparoo across the room in anger (baby wasn't in it but witnessed it and looked scared). The context was a disagreement about how long he would be out for that evening drinking with his friend. I have felt unwell all day and unsteady on my feet / shaky. I dropped a cup in the kitchen by accident and coffee went everywhere. I was cleaning it up and he came down - mid getting ready to go out drinking with his mate - sighed and then threw the jumparoo across the room in front of the baby. He did apologise before he went out, but he said it was in frustration because he thought I had "dropped the cup deliberately" to stall him leaving to go out (he was upstairs when this happened anyway and I didn't ask for any help cleaning it up).

I don't what to to do. It was so unnecessarily aggressive and our baby looked genuinely frightened. It's not the first time he's been aggressive- never physically but just raising his voice at me etc. but this is the first time in front of the baby.

He and his mate are coming back here in a few hours and I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
confusedandupset22 · 09/01/2022 18:09

The disagreement about how long he would out drinking for happened hours earlier, just to clarify, and not in front of th baby. But he was clearly still annoyed about it.

OP posts:
OGenkiDesuKa · 09/01/2022 18:11

What a tosser. I’d be telling him to not bother coming back.

Shoxfordian · 09/01/2022 18:12

Can you stay with someone else? Think about how quickly you can leave him

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 09/01/2022 18:12

Next time the baby might be in it. Get rid of this violent bully.

FTEngineerM · 09/01/2022 18:14

Hmmm that seems like a total over reaction, or you’ve missed bits out?

He hears a cup drop from upstairs, comes down then throws the bouncer 😬. That’s quite a lot of effort to go through over essentially nothing.

Is he always in fight or flight mode?

BlackeyedSusan · 09/01/2022 18:14

He had better stay out permanently.

Topseyt · 09/01/2022 18:14

Tell him not to bother coming back this evening. He can go and stay at his friend's house instead. Perhaps permanently.

Pugroll · 09/01/2022 18:15

Even if there's more to it (seems that way) its still unacceptable and he doesn't sound like someone you should have around yourself or your baby.

Original poster
confusedandupset22 · 09/01/2022 18:15

@FTEngineerM

Hmmm that seems like a total over reaction, or you’ve missed bits out?

He hears a cup drop from upstairs, comes down then throws the bouncer 😬. That’s quite a lot of effort to go through over essentially nothing.

Is he always in fight or flight mode?

He had to move the jumparoo to get to the spilt coffee - well he didn't have to, I was cleaning it myself, but basically he came down, saw the mess, sighed loudly, picked up the jumparoo and threw it, then proceeded to help clean the coffee off the floor.

OP posts:
Emerald5hamrock · 09/01/2022 18:15

He is scum lashing out with a baby in the room, destroying toys due to a hissy fit over alcohol.
I rarely say LTB but I'd leave the horrible bastard.

Dottysmum18 · 09/01/2022 18:15

The fact that he sighed and did it didn't indicate a slow rise of anger it was a deliberate action to scare and punish you leave while he is out next time it could hurt u or the baby could u likve knowing you could have prevented that

Fallagain · 09/01/2022 18:16

Sounds likes he is getting worse. Has he alway been like this or just since the baby has come along?

Original poster
confusedandupset22 · 09/01/2022 18:16

He later said "I thought you were just being manipulative and trying to stall me from going out on time" (by dropping the coffee), hence the anger

OP posts:
LawnFever · 09/01/2022 18:17

That is a ridiculous overreaction on his behalf!

Can you and the baby go and stay somewhere else tonight? Do you have family or a friend you could go and stay with?

His violent reaction is awful, you need to protect your baby from him.

Original poster
confusedandupset22 · 09/01/2022 18:17

There's nothing more to it except the disagreement we had about how long he would be out for, which I've already stated

OP posts:
HippeePrincess · 09/01/2022 18:18

I’d also tell him not to come back in a text explaining why and if he replies you’ll have written evidence (screen shot in case he tries to retrieve the messages) to take to the police.
He’s abusive and this will only escalate, you need to leave/get him out. Forget making plans you just need out!

Original poster
confusedandupset22 · 09/01/2022 18:21

I don't really have anywhere else to go, no

OP posts:
TragoCardboardCopper · 09/01/2022 18:22

Thing is though OP, even if you had been trying to stall him going out it STILL would be an awful, violent overreaction and I'd still be saying LTB.

girlmom21 · 09/01/2022 18:22

Is there a history of aggression and manipulation in your relationship?

Not that it excuses him throwing anything - especially with a baby present!

FTEngineerM · 09/01/2022 18:22

He had to move the jumparoo to get to the spilt coffee - well he didn't have to, I was cleaning it myself, but basically he came down, saw the mess, sighed loudly, picked up the jumparoo and threw it, then proceeded to help clean the coffee off the floor

Yeah, errrr what the hell is that reaction all about, it’s like he’s in fight or flight mode over a coffee 😬.

Lock the door after him and leave the key in it.. forever!

Original poster
confusedandupset22 · 09/01/2022 18:24

@girlmom21

Is there a history of aggression and manipulation in your relationship?

Not that it excuses him throwing anything - especially with a baby present!

There's a history of aggression on his part, verbal not physical, and not with baby present until tonight.

No manipulation but I do suffer from postnatal depression and I find it very hard by myself with the baby at times. He views this as "manipulative" on my part I think, rather than understanding that I have a genuine illness and I find it hard by myself.

OP posts:
AnxiousWeirdo · 09/01/2022 18:25

I'm going to be brutally honest here, he won't get better .. it WILL get worse. Don't be like me, putting up with it for 10 years before I'm finally leaving. I know how hard it is but please leave

StationaryMagpie · 09/01/2022 18:25

i dont say this often, because i know it can take a long time to get there..

But, please... get your affairs in order and make an escape plan.

One of the first real signs that anger was always going to win was my Ex tipping the armchair over before stomping out.. he didn't even check to see where our 4mo was at the time.

It deteriorated from there, but took me a lot of years to finally walk away.. i should have walked then, and not looked back.

Please, go.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 09/01/2022 18:26

I don't really have anywhere else to go, no

No family or friends?

I really think you need to make plans to find somewhere else to live. Do you want your baby growing up looking scared all the time?

Original poster
confusedandupset22 · 09/01/2022 18:28

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

I don't really have anywhere else to go, no

No family or friends?

I really think you need to make plans to find somewhere else to live. Do you want your baby growing up looking scared all the time?

My family are a fair distance away. I have friends but they all have their own kids and difficulties going on, I wouldn't want to impose.

OP posts: