I’ve just put my heart on the line

[2022IamHavingYa]

Very long story short.

Met a guy 2 years ago through online dating. Hit it off immediately and had a few months of dating bliss. I got carried away and ruined it by trying to push for a relationship to hard and too soon and when he (rightly so) backed off, I ended it as he was not giving me what I wanted. I immediately regretted my decision and tried to back track and slow down but he took the situation to heart and felt he wasn’t good enough for me and was worried if we tried again I’d hurt him. It was all amicable and I knew I’d thrown away a good thing and was gutted.

18 months have passed by and we keep bumping into each other, then we meet for coffee a couple of times before fading away again. He texts me occasionally and I him, again this ends in a few meets before life takes us our separate ways. Whenever I talk about him to my friend, he pops up on messages. He just (cheesily) feels like my one.

We have been talking a bit recently and he text yesterday and asked if I was free for dinner that evening. He wined and dined me and his company was wonderful. We haven’t been out like that for 16 months and it felt so natural. He was engaging, lots of eye contact, flirty etc.

He text me today to ask about something upsetting I had to do today and we chatted a bit.

Anyway. Long story shorter, I’ve just bitten the bullet and text him to say I want to date him again.
My life and what I want have changed so much the last year. Ive told him what I want and what I can offer in return.

Now it’s a sickening wait for a response!

Handhold please?

Good luck! When you say you pushed for a relationship what do you mean?

Oh how lovely
Hoping you get a lovely message back from him

Good for you.....the thought must have at least crossed his mind

If he says no though then don’t agree to keep needing him and then fading away. Yes just not fair.

Yikes. Well done.

@supercali77

Good luck! When you say you pushed for a relationship what do you mean?

I was just a bit keen. He is very laid back and w little shy. I just got over excited and wanted to see him more. I look back now and cringe so much at how I must have come across. I was quite new to dating at the time and have now learned so much about what I want, and don’t want in a man.

He is perfect now for what I want and I wish I’d met him for the first time now. I’m so more chilled and laid back and have my life and emotions together.

I’m confident he’ll say he wants to keep as friends, and that’s time. I just thought with a new year on the horizon, but hey joy have one last try? Least I know I’ve done everything I could and can accept he’s my one that got away

Well done OP!
I wish you the best, and that you get I feel the same

Looking forward to your update!

He needs to reply quickly!

@CornishTiger

If he says no though then don’t agree to keep needing him and then fading away. Yes just not fair.

I know. My friend keeps saying the same and I completely agree.

I know he must like me to keep meeting up and getting back in contact. He is by no means a player either. He’s a geeky computer programmer who runs a very successful business in programming from home (where I normally meet him for coffee) and when he isn’t working, he cycles.

He’s quite the closed book and I’ve learned that being direct with him is the best way. At least I’ll know either way soon

I don't think you did anything wrong 'pushing' for a relationship, that is what you want and with him, unfortunately it wasn't for him but that doesn't make it wrong just with the wrong man.

Maybe you are what he's missing, you've made it known you'd like to try again, just be wary of him being on/off with you, if starts not knowing what he wants then it's time to walk away.

@Yummypumpkin

He needs to reply quickly!

He’s always been slow to reply! Was one of the things that originally lead to my fateful decision to end things.

I’ve since learned (after being love bombed and border lined harassed on several occasions) we hat his texting style is just perfect.

I work nights in the NHS so for 3 days/nights a week I am off the grid and most men hate the lack of contact (as did I with him). Now it’s bloody blissful to not be bothered and it makes my heart leap a little when he does text

Well that is all very well for you OP but I'm.not sure ill be able to get to sleep til I know!

Omg I hope he texts back soon 🤞🤞🤞

@dumplings1

I don't think you did anything wrong 'pushing' for a relationship, that is what you want and with him, unfortunately it wasn't for him but that doesn't make it wrong just with the wrong man.

Maybe you are what he's missing, you've made it known you'd like to try again, just be wary of him being on/off with you, if starts not knowing what he wants then it's time to walk away.

I’ve said my piece in a light hearted way. Laid bare what I want and need and what I can offer in return. Stayed my desire to take things slow but thy I want him in my life on a more permanent basis.

I think I’ve always loved the chase with him. There’s a chance he’ll say he feels the same and the spark will die once I’ve gotten what I want 😂

Oh crap, I think I’m regretting it now 😂

Ooohhh waiting to see the answer, hope it a good one x

He’s done a 100 mile bike ride today so he’s probably long gone to bed. Let’s say he won’t reply tonight (or knowing him, anytime
Soon!) so we can all sleep and I promise to update either way when he does.

Of course, I won’t be able to sleep either. Should have sent it in the morning when I had all day to keep myself occupied! I got the urge so went with it before I chickened out!

Hahaha. Well you have promised to let us know.

I have a good feeling.

We have a reply! It’s not exciting though. It just says

“I’m at my brothers for a few drinks so I’ll read it properly tomorrow and reply 😬”

Followed immediately by

“I’m not 100% sure what you are saying from my first review”

Apparently I wasn’t clear enough 😂

Place marking because I need to follow this 👀

All the best OP. Hope things work out this time. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

What????? How long was the text??? Maybe he thinks you are already dating????

Fair play to you. I hope he replies soon!

I mean how long was your text if he needs to read it multiple times to understand it? You've very easy to understand in your posts.

Men!!

Haha sorry that must have been a bit of an anti climax! At least you can take your time to formulate and more direct message.

So annoying when you feel you've been really clear and they still don't get it. I pride myself on being upfront and direct but still seem to get this all the time 😂😅

How can saying to someone that you want to date him again be unclear?

Unless he thinks you two are already dating now?

I'd say he doesn't know how to respond and is biding time.