Dating Thread 221 - will this thread see us through 'till Christmas?

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Roll call?

Checking in ❤️

Something has been going around in my head...

My mum once said that Mr Gambit emotionally abuses me, (by blocking me and unblocking me routinely on WhatsApp, and only talking to me on his terms)

He often makes me feel like I'm being punished. (Ironic when you think of what he does for a living)

So bearing in mind he's not my boyfriend... would you say he is an emotional abuser?

Checking in! Quick break from a MrT call....

@InABetterPlaceNow, your friend cheated on someone at 16 ? How many years later is this now ? Why is she trying to find Mr T on FB? I would try to close the circle of trust here for the time being and focus on whether you and he have a solid connection before putting it out there for public consumption.

So, this friend was the one who got me into online dating. So we naturally shared stories but it's only come up recently to link to his FB profile and then she told me he'd blocked her. Lesson learnt! She blocked him 17 years ago!!!

What's ended up happening is MrT picked up on some stuff that hurt him in the whole thing which we talked through. I explained how the whole thing affected me. We're in a good place and understand each other a bit more.

His monty python impressions are hilarious 🤣😂🤣

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

Something has been going around in my head...

My mum once said that Mr Gambit emotionally abuses me, (by blocking me and unblocking me routinely on WhatsApp, and only talking to me on his terms)

He often makes me feel like I'm being punished. (Ironic when you think of what he does for a living)

So bearing in mind he's not my boyfriend... would you say he is an emotional abuser?

Yes.

But....are you sure your mum's not abusive too?

She blocked him 17 years ago!!!

Seems pretty unlikely, Facebook only started in 2004.

@VanGoghsDog no, though she has said nasty things in the past. She told me in the same conversation that i'm the sort of person that will get 'knocked about' in a relationship.

I'm not calling him anything. It's just been going around in my head and driving me insane. ❤️

He's also unblocked me, but I'm not going on WA first this time.

@WeWantTheFinestWines thanks for the new thread!

@InABetterPlaceNow when are you next seeing Mr T?

Thank you for the new thread, @WeWantTheFinestWines ❤️

@VanGoghsDog

She blocked him 17 years ago!!!

Seems pretty unlikely, Facebook only started in 2004.

Apparently an actual thing - was right when FB started and they were all teens. Utterly ridiculous and I'm a bit peeved with the whole situation but it was definitely the friend who had blocked due to a mutual secondary school ex (and MrT was entirely innocent in it all). Though does show what a small world it is!

[quote Eesha]@WeWantTheFinestWines thanks for the new thread!

@InABetterPlaceNow when are you next seeing Mr T?[/quote]
Monday hopefully ☺️

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

Thank you for the new thread, *@WeWantTheFinestWines* ❤️

Yes, thank you!!

@InABetterPlaceNow sorry the whole thing with your friend sounds like such a storm in a teacup.... how can you even give it headspace? I'd honestly think nothing of it.
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards erm to paraphrase Janet Jackson, what has Mr Gambit done for you lately? As in, what does he add to your life? Again it sounds like a draining situation that takes up precious headspace. Blocking and unblocking just seems childish and ridiculous.

Hey new thread! Today’s plan: concentrate on none old things (except this thread!). 🙂 Balance y’all. Have a great day everyone.

Thanks for the new thread! Checking in. Off to London today for theatre and fun with my DC.

Checking in. On a long drive home today.

Irons are all behaving themselves. Although woke up gasping for air from a dream about my ex

@Eesha your thing is sounding really lovely

@everyone else hi 👋🏻 and will catch up with thread when home

Checking in 🙂

Checking in! Thanks @WeWantTheFinestWines for the thread!
Have a fun day @ibelieveinmirrorballs! What you going to see? 🙂

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards. You should block him. Permanently. In the kindest way possible,He does nothing positive for you, will never meet up with you, you could meet someone else instead of letting him take up space..

@isitreallyme

The saddest part is you viewing mr cricket as a nice guy. He’s a manipulative cheat. He only slept with you AFTER making sure you know he has a girlfriend so he escapes the what are we, is anything progressing question! He can text you crumbs now to keep you hooked, but a few weeks ago he was SO busy, he couldn’t spare the same few seconds. This won’t end well, and I really hope you guard your heart instead of sitting in this entanglement. His poor gf! Imagine she’s one of us on here, updating that things are going well, they’ve been on a weekend away etc- not knowing he’s having ( unprotected ) sex with his ‘ friend’. Pretty awful isn’t it !

@InABetterPlaceNow
Seems to a little more to the story - and I think that’s what your intuition is telling you ..

Not caught up on too many other stories, but wish everyone well with dating and Christmas !

@Shayelle2009

Checking in! Thanks *@WeWantTheFinestWines* for the thread! Have a fun day *@ibelieveinmirrorballs*! What you going to see? 🙂

Thanks @Shayelle2009 - We're going to see a Neil Gaiman play 'The Ocean at the End of the Lane' - I booked it without realising it's not really THAT appropriate for kids although they are just over the minimum age recommendation so fingers crossed! It's meant to be amazing, just hope they're not scared half to death . We're going for sushi before and a bit of shopping afterwards - I had my booster yesterday which was not good planning, as I had a crap night's sleep. But hopefully will be fun!

@InABetterPlaceNow

Checking in! Quick break from a MrT call....

@InABetterPlaceNow, your friend cheated on someone at 16 ? How many years later is this now ? Why is she trying to find Mr T on FB? I would try to close the circle of trust here for the time being and focus on whether you and he have a solid connection before putting it out there for public consumption.

So, this friend was the one who got me into online dating. So we naturally shared stories but it's only come up recently to link to his FB profile and then she told me he'd blocked her. Lesson learnt! She blocked him 17 years ago!!!

What's ended up happening is MrT picked up on some stuff that hurt him in the whole thing which we talked through. I explained how the whole thing affected me. We're in a good place and understand each other a bit more.

His monty python impressions are hilarious 🤣😂🤣

I agree with other posters in that in a way this is a total non thing, on the other hand I don't believe anyone in the UK was using FB in 2004, were they?! All a bit weird and I wouldn't like it - surely the chance of them having known each other as teens is microscopic? Have you asked her about his version of events? I would defer to Occam's Razor but I actually have no idea what the most likely truth would be in this situation!

Still got the last tail-end of the previous thread to go through but quick(ish) school meeting update for those who've really really supported me here!
After introductions were made and everyone was clear on their involvement and expected outcome of the meeting the teacher was asked if he had anything to add. He proceeded to whip out a huge file, brought up my inability to parent my DS properly as a topic for discussion. He'd been documenting 'incidents' so had 'evidence.' The folder was huge so my heart was really pounding. He started to talk then two people interjected(posh word) and said 'we have NO interest in any of this, 'naimee's' parenting skills are not being investigated/nor do they need to be as we have met with her! She's a competent parent and her DS is a good kid! Please re-focus on finding a solution on how to help her DS to develop as a pupil, meaning what other schools/classes can YOU offer! He finally got the green light to switch schools after christmas! It's a massive relief! Had a bottle of prosecco too much though with my(poor) neighbour so feeling a tad ropey! Likely the teacher would twist this to i am a raging alcoholic...

@MizK yes i'm now a BIG fan of socks and sandals and i'm browsing the bum-bag isles as he may like a new one for
christmas 😂
@SpringlikeBunk you got to love a bit of 'gendertraffic' i mean isn't that just the sexiest word ever for getting jiggy? 😂

Thanks everyone! That's the thing, it started out as a non issue (friend saying the profile wasn't accessible) but she started to make it into a really big deal. The dates might be off, she said 17 years ago but could have been an exaggeration, but was clear many moons ago. So started to become a really big issue for me due to my experiences with ex where these kind of things turned out to be something dodgy. Which is when I just asked him 🤷‍♀️

I fully believe that the reason they know each other is due to an ex of my friend, and that it was my friend who was making it into a bigger issue than it should have been. She started off saying maybe he was FB stalking me and blocking all my friends 🤷‍♀️ then was "swearing he wasn't an ex" then went to "omg how do I know him and why would he block me".

All sorted on MrTs side, but it's annoyed me on the friend side...

@Eesha i can't believe you are waiting TDTD... no waay hosaaay could i wait if i fancied the pants of someone! Clearly you are more together and fancy person than me! 🤩😉