Dating Thread 221 - will this thread see us through 'till Christmas?

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Indeed. Makes me smile 😃❤️😘

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

Just found the ideal song to sum up the past week for me:

Brava! Keep on striding onwards! You are so much more than he deserves.

(The bra strap of the girl in red annoys me though. It keeps on slipping down her arm and then magicking itself back up onto her shoulder again.)

@PurpleStripyScarf aww, thank you! You've really put a smile on my face 😃😘😘😘

Yes, that's the magic of editing for you 😂😂❤️

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Got another date with Mr Favourite Place tomorrow. Don't know if it's our first or second. An evening seafront walk after work and then drinks/food in our picturesque harbour afterwards. He'll be driving, I won't. So I have to be careful not to get slaughtered/be embarrassing. I like him but I don't really fancy him. Maybe that will change tomorrow 🤞

This all sounds very good. Do you think you could fancy him? I wasn't sure I was going to fancy my iron until we actually kissed, although I could see he was objectively fanciable.

I wondered the same @ibelieveinmirrorballs about whether the attraction could grow, it did for me with one iron but I usually get fanny flutters can tell straight away if I fancy someone. What do you reckon @WeWantTheFinestWines?
Also meant to say, I hope it doesn't come to this and everything is going well, but I've made an excellent friend from a previous iron @InABetterPlaceNow. We clicked straight away at a mental level, the physical side grew but we were both pretty casual and I ended up meeting someone. We've stayed great, supportive friends and although I know I have you lot for my crises, it's fantastic to have someone that knows me so well to advise me on all matters male (and everything else tbh). And vice versa of course.

@Heartbeats0708

I wondered the same *@ibelieveinmirrorballs about whether the attraction could grow, it did for me with one iron but I usually get fanny flutters can tell straight away if I fancy someone. What do you reckon @WeWantTheFinestWines*? Also meant to say, I hope it doesn't come to this and everything is going well, but I've made an excellent friend from a previous iron *@InABetterPlaceNow*. We clicked straight away at a mental level, the physical side grew but we were both pretty casual and I ended up meeting someone. We've stayed great, supportive friends and although I know I have you lot for my crises, it's fantastic to have someone that knows me so well to advise me on all matters male (and everything else tbh). And vice versa of course.

It's all kiss-dependent for me when it comes to fanny flutters fancying, @Heartbeats0708 - is there anything MORE disappointing than thinking you're going to fancy someone and then them being a total washing-machine kiss merchant? Argh.

I really didn't think I was going to fancy Mr Mixtape in the flesh - we'd had a video call but I'd only seen one photo and as documented here previously he doesn't really do flirting/sexting so I had no real sense of him in that regard. It is SO good when expectations are exceeded rather than the other way around!

Heyy! Been skimming the thread a bit...my magnet-man visit didn't happen! Sorry if too much information but i got my period a week early and had it all this week so felt like a baby rhino... and he was laid up in bed with a fever/dizzy after the booster yesterday. Didn't hear very much from him at all really! Guess it just wasn't meant to be... i'm hoping as we almost got sorted albeit very veeerrrry slowly with a lot of patience on my end it could be on the cards for in January 🍀🤞🏻or the next school holidays perhaps! I'm now off for a few days and have some cash to spend so may hit the shops with my DS later. Nice to hear there are some good little couples going strong! Hope everyone's managing to relax and looking forward to their NYE plans. We'll be at home with proper-prosecco for me and a kids bottle for DS! He is SO excited. We got mega sparklers 🧨 to try out!

“Fanny Flutters”,
Didn’t think I would be reading that, on the internet this morning.
Anyhow, Back to my blocked sink.

Aww thank you @Heartbeats0708! That's really reassuring. I'm so used to picking complete twats that the thought of being a friend with an ex is unfathomable! I'm in strange new territory with this one, but it's fun!

He got a negative LFT yesterday so if today's comes back negative he's officially allowed out of isolation! However I have family to go see today for a Xmas catch-up and he has DD coming over from this evening through to Sunday to have their Xmas. Roll on Monday!

He did throw the idea out of me meeting DD on Friday Essentially he has a few friends coming over, and she's used to meeting new people who are friends of his now and then, which is how I would have been introduced. She's teen aged. I declined and said I just think we should be super cautious about the kids meeting thing. Besides, with meeting both a bunch of his friends AND DD at the same time, I would likely be a quivering ball under his sofa 😂

So plan is for me to meeting the friends first at some point and then probably meet his DD in that way later down the line. The meeting kids thing is something that's taking quite a lot of headspace right now. I want to do it by the book (which seems to be 6 months+), but it's super important to both of us that each other interacts well with them or things won't work. Honestly, even more so on my side - I will want to see how he is with his DD before he comes in a 2 mile radius of mine 😅😂

Why is life so complicated! 😅😂

Messaging with my iron who I had the call with on Tuesday has ramped up. We are planning to meet up in early Jan.

Been chatting to another iron and we have agreed to meet up for a walk and coffee early in the new year too

Another 3 chats all in the early stages.

@ibelieveinmirrorballs I think I could probably fancy him. There's nothing actually offputting about him, other than looking a bit crumpled and not being very tall. I was quite happy being close to him when we were navigating rocky terrain but because of the wind and rain and our coats I got no sense of a smell, which can make such a difference. I suppose he is objectively fanciable, in that my friend thought he was hot, so with a drink, some closeness in a pub with eye to eye contact and some kissing, I reckon I've got a good chance of getting there.

@Heartbeats0708 I would be happy to end up with a friend from this - thought I had with another iron, but I now don't think that particular iron does female friends. Ultimately, I am looking for more though.

@Naimee87 sorry you didn't manage to meet Mr MM - sounds like you've got some lovely time planned with DS though.

@InABetterPlaceNow meeting the DD is a big step, but really says something about how he feels about your RS. What a lovely thing! I don't blame you for being reticent about him meeting yours - I wouldn't introduce mine to anyone for a long long time. Mr Favourite Place has no DC, which is absolutely brilliant.

I am on my laptop so can tag people, which is a real treat. The mobile app is shit for that. I will resist the temptation to tag everyone, just because I can though.

@FabulousMrFifty I hope you manage to unblock your sink. I find a plunger most helpful in those situations. Not that you won't have thought of that already...

@teesguy you're almost at @BelladiMamma numbers with your irons there! Sounding very positive for the new year.

@InABetterPlaceNow how long have you been seeing your iron? I would feel weird about the kids thing too.

@teesguy good luck on all the potential chat/dates

@Naimee87 I'm really glad Magnet Man is proving to be so great and lovely for you!

@WeWantTheFinestWines I do think chemistry can grow as I had a year long fwb situation with someone I would not have been attracted to normally. I think it's hard enough to find kind and decent people so I would always give things a chance.

@WeWantTheFinestWines
Won’t bore you with the details, but the U bend was solid with waste matter, as the pipe to the outside and down to the drain, ended up cutting the outside waste pipe, need to go out now and get some new waste pipe and an in-line joint

The smell was unbelievable…

@WeWantTheFinestWines
If you want to tag users on a mobile device, use the actual site in a browser rather than the app, I’m doing this via my iPhone’s browser and it tags fine.

Thanks! I'm doing my best to give him space actually to just get better and for me to enjoy some down-time! I'm wary of making MM my focus a bit too much again and this isn't healthy for either of us and could ultimately push him away. Got to enjoy what we've got going on this time round. @Heartbeats0708 i love these, get them a lot with MM 😌😇 just thinking of past times we met up or when hurtling past memorable truck stops! 😂

I'm feeling in quite a good mood to see the year out as its been so eventful in really positive ways (mainly my trucking achievements) and i've learned how strong i can be as a single-parent facing the school shenanigans.

@WeWantTheFinestWines i meant to say what a lovely date with the surprise iron who sloped out of the woodwork for you! I love the casual meet-up approach as well. Wonder if the 'glam, heels/LBD days' for first dates will ever return, in bars/restaurants. I like the dog-walks through parks feels like much more of a natural way to get to know someone!

[quote FabulousMrFifty]@WeWantTheFinestWines
If you want to tag users on a mobile device, use the actual site in a browser rather than the app, I’m doing this via my iPhone’s browser and it tags fine.[/quote]
@FabulousMrFifty and @WeWantTheFinestWines I always use the mobile app (iPhone) and have no problem tagging people. I just click on the @ on my keyboard and then start typing a name and it gives me suggestions of people's names. Does that not work for you?

However I've never worked out how to DM people (or receive/read DMs sent to me) via mobile app - has anyone nailed that side of things?

I love the casual meet-up approach as well. Wonder if the 'glam, heels/LBD days' for first dates will ever return, in bars/restaurants. I like the dog-walks through parks feels like much more of a natural way to get to know someone!

Yes @Naimee87 I totally agree with this. I'm all up for dressing up glam for subsequent dates but actually for the first meet I'd much prefer that it's just a casual get-together of two people to see if they get on (as opposed to going all-out to try to impress each other). That's why I love the Date Zero concept on this thread. My couple of experiences of OLD so far have both started with meeting in the daytime which is great - I can wear casual clothes/shoes - and it means expectations (of the date, and of a potential future) are set in a sensible place. Atm I'm a bit limited to evening meets so my couple of dates coming up will be for drinks - but I've decided to still keep it fairly casual with (smart) jeans and a (nice) jumper. Contrary to the "other" thread, I do yearn for a walking date though!

Just been asked by one of my irons if I wanted to join her and her dog for a walk and coffee. Unfortunately my daughter isn't feeling great so can't. We've agreed to do it when we are both next free though 😊

@InABetterPlaceNow

Aww thank you *@Heartbeats0708*! That's really reassuring. I'm so used to picking complete twats that the thought of being a friend with an ex is unfathomable! I'm in strange new territory with this one, but it's fun!

He got a negative LFT yesterday so if today's comes back negative he's officially allowed out of isolation! However I have family to go see today for a Xmas catch-up and he has DD coming over from this evening through to Sunday to have their Xmas. Roll on Monday!

He did throw the idea out of me meeting DD on Friday Essentially he has a few friends coming over, and she's used to meeting new people who are friends of his now and then, which is how I would have been introduced. She's teen aged. I declined and said I just think we should be super cautious about the kids meeting thing. Besides, with meeting both a bunch of his friends AND DD at the same time, I would likely be a quivering ball under his sofa 😂

So plan is for me to meeting the friends first at some point and then probably meet his DD in that way later down the line. The meeting kids thing is something that's taking quite a lot of headspace right now. I want to do it by the book (which seems to be 6 months+), but it's super important to both of us that each other interacts well with them or things won't work. Honestly, even more so on my side - I will want to see how he is with his DD before he comes in a 2 mile radius of mine 😅😂

Why is life so complicated! 😅😂

I've yet to RTFT since this morning but I've read your post a couple of times and tried to imagine how I feel now about meeting DC. I did read somewhere that it's good if you can intro potential partners as friends so throwing them in the mix at an event like that isn't bad 🤷🏻‍♀️ as it takes some of the pressure out of it? However that's not to say you should do this, but a crowd isn't a bad way to go when you're ready?

@teesguy that's great things are moving along nicely in time for the new year

@PurpleStripyScarf @Naimee87 I love chilled dating. I've had my fill of fancy places over the years, they're fine occasionally but I don't feel I'm my best self in those places, it always feels so fake

@WeWantTheFinestWines this is sounding like a gold start. After all, you can work / know someone in a different IRL capacity and your feelings can grow on you. MrDublin wasn't my immediate physical type but we just clicked in terms of conversation and interests and things just flowed. The chemistry is definitely there now

@Shayelle2009 how's MrTurk 🥰

Just checking in after a lovely couple of days with MrDublin. He's asked about expectations around exclusivity and where I see things heading. It wasn't a conversation I wanted to have so early on and I asked him to give us a little more time. However at the end of the two days we spent together I was more than ready to have it. He's just fantastic. I haven't promised him monogamy- and he doesn't need to promise it to me either - but I'm very very keen to give the budding relationship my time and my focus and my energy. Which means other irons will have to take a back seat. The main thing I spoke to him about was that I value my mental freedom and the idea that I could meet other people was part of it. I am however, off the apps at the moment anyway so I'm not expending real effort on meeting new people. It's just the idea of not being able to make those open emotional connections which are one of the best parts of my post divorce life. The way I was treated during my marriage also plays into it but also the experience I lived when I was younger of having very special and intense multiple relationships which I'd dip in and out of. I think he understands that and also, I am not a flaky person who's not going to meet him or treat him badly for the sake of another lover. It's more like if I come across someone else and connect with them on that level then I want to have the mental freedom to explore whatever that becomes. You can't fall for a free spirit then lock her up after all 🤷🏻‍♀️ which is exactly what my ex did to me.

@BelladiMamma Hey, it sounds like it's moving really positively with Mr Dublin. Is he OK with you seeing others? I feel quite conservative in the sense it would be a hard no for me.

[quote Eesha]@BelladiMamma Hey, it sounds like it's moving really positively with Mr Dublin. Is he OK with you seeing others? I feel quite conservative in the sense it would be a hard no for me.[/quote]
Yes, he is. We've put monogamy on the table as something we work towards if we keep feeling this way about each other.

He's got some stuff that I'm not going to stop him doing. But that later on we might need to revisit, which he knows.

[quote FabulousMrFifty]@WeWantTheFinestWines
Won’t bore you with the details, but the U bend was solid with waste matter, as the pipe to the outside and down to the drain, ended up cutting the outside waste pipe, need to go out now and get some new waste pipe and an in-line joint

The smell was unbelievable…[/quote]

Yet you bored me with the details... 😅 Just a wee joke, I can get quite caught up in a drainage failure myself and I'm impressed with your problem solving, I'd have had to get a plumber in.