Dating Thread 221 - will this thread see us through 'till Christmas?

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@BelladiMamma It's definitely linked to my cycle (I saw Mr K on Fri night/Sat am), its ovulation time when my mood drops and I predicted a few weeks ago it would be this weekend.
I'm really pleased I started logging it all so I know that I think irrationally at this time and the correct way to deal with it is by sitting on my hands.

Mr Dublin sounds nice, what's the distance in terms of logistics to see each other?

@BelladiMamma gotta love an Irish accent 😘❤️

[quote SortingItOut]@BelladiMamma It's definitely linked to my cycle (I saw Mr K on Fri night/Sat am), its ovulation time when my mood drops and I predicted a few weeks ago it would be this weekend.
I'm really pleased I started logging it all so I know that I think irrationally at this time and the correct way to deal with it is by sitting on my hands.

Mr Dublin sounds nice, what's the distance in terms of logistics to see each other?[/quote]
He's 35 miles from me. His sister lives 7 miles away somewhere I spend a lot of time and he spends a lot of time there including the upcoming festive season. So all do- able, it's just finding the time when we are both child free ...

[quote OnwardsEverStridingOnwards]@BelladiMamma gotta love an Irish accent 😘❤️

[/quote]
Yup 😁

[quote SortingItOut]@BelladiMamma It's definitely linked to my cycle (I saw Mr K on Fri night/Sat am), its ovulation time when my mood drops and I predicted a few weeks ago it would be this weekend.
I'm really pleased I started logging it all so I know that I think irrationally at this time and the correct way to deal with it is by sitting on my hands.

Mr Dublin sounds nice, what's the distance in terms of logistics to see each other?[/quote]
That makes total sense re the cycle. I have a dip just before my period (after ovulation) and I'm absolutely bloody rampant the rest of the time 🤣

@BelladiMamma

Sorry more threaders I've missed out

@StartingAgain6369 hmmm. This sounds like her making you a special friend that could go romantic or just very close. I have a male BFF like this and luckily we dealt with the 'are we going to have sex' aspect of our relationship early on (although we've know each other since we were 9/10 so slightly different!!). Maybe she'll reconsider or maybe you're her fallback? Hard without having another conversation with her

@FabulousMrFifty was MsWales with family this weekend? Or another reason not to be in touch? Hope you're ok

Ms Wales has her eldest back from Uni for the holidays, so she will be busy with her kids, even so a bit disappointed not to get anything for a week, pp.

Mr Dublin sounds good, 35 miles is easy, 250 + is not really working

@FabulousMrFifty yes, I'm feeling good about this one. Let's see, always best to keep the expectations low

@FabulousMrFifty yeah a whole week is a bit shit. I'm assuming you messaged her and she didn't reply? Nothing at all since you saw each other?

@BelladiMamma
Yep, nothing since we saw each other last,
There is no mobile reception where she lives, so she doesn’t have a mobile ( I know right, how odd), so we communicate via email mostly like it’s 1985 still.
I messaged last Sunday night after our last meeting and it’s been radio silence since then, I appreciate she has both her kids with her, even so, as you say, a bit shit really

Thread moves so fast. Just checking in after a date zero with a Ms BlueEyes. Tramped around for over 3 and a half hours, i think that’s a good sign. Messaged to say would like to see again but not heard back . As @BelladiMamma recommends, expectations low. But had a lovely afternoon anyway.

[quote FabulousMrFifty]@BelladiMamma
Yep, nothing since we saw each other last,
There is no mobile reception where she lives, so she doesn’t have a mobile ( I know right, how odd), so we communicate via email mostly like it’s 1985 still.
I messaged last Sunday night after our last meeting and it’s been radio silence since then, I appreciate she has both her kids with her, even so, as you say, a bit shit really[/quote]
Oh I did wonder previously about the emailing, I thought it was a bit 1980s but didn't like to say anything
That is a bit rubbish re the week's no contact. I'd have been tempted to send a second message asking how her week(end) has been - but then leave the ball firmly in her court. Maybe she's likewise finding the distance too much? Sounds as if you have a nice thing going on but if it's not practical/sustainable then maybe best to let it slide? You sound like a great catch and I'm sure you can find nice options nearer

@FabulousMrFifty

There's no right or wrong answer with contact, I 100% agree if you're wanting more contact and friendship and chat and banter then she definitely doesn't sound like the woman for you - seems like she has her life, and then you meet up for a bit, then she detaches?

You can only go with your feelings, dating even if it's casual is meant to make you feel good about yourself?

I think with the distance with me and MrHedgehog I'm already emotionally "one foot out the door" so I don't want to throw the connection away for now, but I'm "potentially opening up to other options".

The in-person connection (both in and out of bed) is amazing so I'm hanging on for that, but if it's shit for me there's no harm in cutting my losses.

@FabulousMrFifty, 2 (separate) guys a long time ago both told me that they didn’t have a mobile phone and they turned out to be married. How does she stay in touch with her children? Were there any at home when you were away together last weekend? How would they have got hold of her ? Sorry I know you aren’t on here looking for any opinions on Ms W as you seem pretty chill with it but no mobile in 2021 ?

@PurpleStripyScarf
Yeah, it’s like going back in time, I’m thinking about getting a VW badge on chain around my neck for that authentic 80’s Beastie (Old & Fat ) Boys look.
I dropped her a mail this afternoon, no reply ATM, but yeah, it’s a difficult with the distance, and with a potential lockdown coming, not good.

There is the woman who walks her dog where I go cycling, she seems to say Hello a lot.., would Ms DG be to confusing?

@SpringlikeBunk
Yes to all that, you nailed it, all that applies

@FabulousMrFifty that must be so frustrating re. the lack of mobile phone and having to resort to email... although at least you are spared the WhatsApp sort of 'can see they're online but not messaging' angsting that so often drives us all mad. The whole week without a message is just shit, to be honest, after a weekend together, and as you've emailed her already I think there is no real excuse not to respond. Did you discuss meeting again at all while you were together?

@InABetterPlaceNow sorry to hear you have had the resurgence of a toxic ex to have to deal with. I'd most definitely agree with the others that it will be a very good thing NOT to share too much with MrT, no matter how tempting or how supportive he looks capable of being. If you have a ready-made support network, lean on it... that's what it's there for. Good luck with the solicitor tomorrow; you have my sympathies - I had my solicitor at the end of the phone/email for 6+ years after separating and at times it felt like it would never end. (But it does...)

@SortingItOut well done for sitting on your hands despite all temptation to do otherwise - this is progress (or it is for me these days). Nothing gets resolved better by reacting immediately, in my experience. So good to have the weekly counsellor appointment up your sleeve to be able to sort of 'hold things in' knowing you can decant them in that session. I'm hoping my counsellor will enable me to do the same.

Had my chat with Mr Mixtape today although thankfully it was very lighthearted and not at all about needs or anxiety. I've had a much better day today anyway watching my DC sing their solos in the choir carol concert and generally prep for Christmas, and for whatever reason am already feeling much calmer, even about the prospect of possibly not going away between Christmas and New Year. Am still contemplating what to do as I have several London-based friends I could go and visit, and travel abroad is looking more shaky each day.

[quote Onesmallstep67]@FabulousMrFifty, 2 (separate) guys a long time ago both told me that they didn’t have a mobile phone and they turned out to be married. How does she stay in touch with her children? Were there any at home when you were away together last weekend? How would they have got hold of her ? Sorry I know you aren’t on here looking for any opinions on Ms W as you seem pretty chill with it but no mobile in 2021 ?[/quote]
Her son was at Uni, just come back, her daughter was with her ExH ( daughter’s Father) , they all use email, she (ms W) has a 7” tablet her son uses email on his phone I guess
But yeah, no mobile in 2021 is odd right …

@ibelieveinmirrorballs
Yes we talked about a post Xmas meeting, but with Covid etc, might be tricky, but again goes back to the distance and her being in another country (kinda)

I can kind of understand if there's no mobile signal at home, although I have friends who don't either and use WhatsApp on their mobiles with the wifi to make calls when they're there. Is it the whole area that doesn't have it..? If that's the case maybe it's more common than we'd think!

Really hard not to have heard back I think. Do you think you'll make contact again if you don't hear from her? Annoyed on your behalf!

@ibelieveinmirrorballs
She is in South Wales, mobile coverage is still patchy there compared to most of England, no coverage in the area she lives, I did mail her this afternoon, but no response so farmers

… so far…, no farmers.

Spectacular Mumsnet "flounce" announcement.

Having received feedback on a key piece of work (not as shit as I thought PHEW) I'm going to go on a phone/Internet detox/Mumsnet/break till early new year as I've used screens a bit too much this year and I want to disengage, so will take advantage of the Xmas break excuse

(as there's less work messages I need to engage with as well).

(You can cry and miss me, that's fine ).

See all you lovelies on the other side in 2022.

@SpringlikeBunk
Great idea, think I follow you (not literally)

Oh and ms W ha s just responded to my earlier today email

@FabulousMrFifty that’s great! What did she say?

@SpringlikeBunk

Spectacular Mumsnet "flounce" announcement.

Having received feedback on a key piece of work (not as shit as I thought PHEW) I'm going to go on a phone/Internet detox/Mumsnet/break till early new year as I've used screens a bit too much this year and I want to disengage, so will take advantage of the Xmas break excuse

(as there's less work messages I need to engage with as well).

(You can cry and miss me, that's fine ).

See all you lovelies on the other side in 2022.

Great idea! See you on the other side 😎

@SpringlikeBunk 😘😘😘