Dating Thread 221 - will this thread see us through 'till Christmas?

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Oh and yes, I asked her about his version and she said "Oh, that's how I know him! I was horrible to that ex! But still, why would he block me! It was 17 years ago!" (this is when it would thought he'd blocked her. MrT then actually checked if she was blocked, and she wasn't, until she then realised she's blocked him for whatever reason.

I mostly ended up being annoyed that I took up part of MrTs evening going through something so stupid. He said he felt in no way attacked etc, we were just trying to get to the bottom of the mystery and it was fine. That bit didn't feel fine though and that's when he decided to call instead of keep texting.

The friend has a history of dramas, but they've never directly affected me before...

Actually, you guys might be right. I remember mentioning about him a few weeks back, she'd looked him up on FB and commented how they had a number of mutual friends. I'd completely forgotten about that.

What's the betting she recognised him, remembered the ex, got herself in a flap that he would tell me what a horrible person she was back then and blocked him, probably fairly recently. Which makes the most sense but annoys me even more about it all.

Anyway, I really don't want to give it anymore headspace. Lead to a good convo with MrT anyway where we started with unpicking why I felt off, and ended on our zombie apocalypse plan about 3 hours later 🙄😂

@InABetterPlaceNow, I’m glad that you and Mr T managed to work through this. Personally I would now try to focus on the lighter side of getting to know each other, you’ve had a couple of pretty loaded situations/conversations so far. I’m a pretty heart on my sleeve kind of person and I’m looking for an authentic connection with a partner but I would feel pretty overwhelmed if things were very intense from the get go. When is your next FTF date?

@InABetterPlaceNow this all sounds really intense! Make sure your real life interactions are fun too. You both sound like overthinkers/intelligent sorts

@Naimee87 it's funny as both Mr Music and I agree we want our inevitable session to be really special. Don't get me wrong, we have had some extremely steamy sessions but stopped short of sex. I'm quite interested in edging within sexual dynamics and see this as an extension of that. For me, it's far more satisfying than jumping straight into bed especially because we both have high hopes generally for the relationship. And yes, I'm very aware how mad this all sounds....

@Onesmallstep67 Seeing him Monday. Noted. We talked it all through quite logically then moved on to silliness for most of the convo. Had I not mentioned it then it would have potentially played in my head until it really was an issue so I don't think I could have just not mentioned it? Anyways, it's done now and I'm not intending to have anymore intense discussions 😔

@Eesha I think it's my "debrief" that's making it sound really intense honestly. The actual talking about has a lot of laughing and jokes etc which discussing it. And again, that bit took up about 10 mins of a 3 hour call, when we moved on to all the lighter stuff. I'll only be able to see him for a few hours on Monday so I don't expect much talking to happen 🤷‍♀️

I have an update, I lasted posted in the other thread about going on a 5th date. We have since had 2 more dates and had the exclusive chat. Very happy indeed and hes introducing me to his friends tonight, Im nervous but also really looking forward to it. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

(Just to prove we don't talk about just the serious stuff) other topics included why neither of us drive, his fear of snakes, Monty Python (with his impression of it), showing me round his computer setup, some stories about his late Dad, how his DD is getting on, and quite a lot on the zombie apocalypse and survival plans... there was more but that's the stuff off the top of my head? 🤷‍♀️

@northernlight20

I have an update, I lasted posted in the other thread about going on a 5th date. We have since had 2 more dates and had the exclusive chat. Very happy indeed and hes introducing me to his friends tonight, Im nervous but also really looking forward to it. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Oooh fab news!!! Good luck tonight and congrats!!!

Sorry all. Have had another horrendous night with my pain.

I don't know.... I like him. He believes in me. I've not had many men like that. And plus in the state I'm in, I'm not really comfortable and confident to meet anyone else at the moment.

Fully aware how sad that sounds 😂❤️😘

New thread for Christmas 🎄
@Naimee87 I just want to say I’m so glad you got the school situation sorted and that teacher was put back in his box! You sound like a great mum with a lovely relationship with your son. Hope Christmas is just fantastic for you both (with a magnet thrown in if possible!) now that’s off your mind
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I agree with the others - Mr Gambit is bad for your mental health, I would block him and delete his number and then you can’t check is you are blocked or not and he can’t come crawling back messing with you again. You deserve better and you will meet someone better when you are ready to

I’m off to Dublin for the night with Mr L. He stayed at mine last night and he’s now amusing himself at my house while I get my hair done - feels all so domesticated and trusting Looking forward to our night away and a nice hike by a waterfall tomorrow.
Bloody covid restrictions coming back Monday means an 8pm curfew so no more nights out for a while 😬

Have a great Saturday everyone

Still catching up, I just laughed out loud at @Naimee87 browsing the bum bag aisles 😂 congratulations on the excellent school meeting, that teacher can eff right off now.
isit I think @Myfabby has nailed this one, in that it stops anything developing and Mr C can avoid awkward conversations. Look after your heart girl ❤️

Yay good to hear things are still going well @MayEye and you're still with me on the smitten bench! Have a fantastic time.
I hear you on the pain @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards take care of yourself and rest up. I will as soon as my DC calm the heck down, "it's Chriiiistmaaaas" according to the mini Heartbeats.
@BelladiMamma hope you're okay,I have ex nightmares quite often and they really shake me up. Safe drive home!

Checking in! I have a date with Mr W today. Will see how it goes. 4 dates so far. But I'm taking it slow. No jumping into bed for the sake of it.

I have been asked for a drink by someone I went on 2 dates with last month. I think we are more friends than anything else. Which I'm fine with, we click and get on well but haven't made any moves at all

@Myfabby @MayEye ❤️❤️❤️

Hello everyone, checking in too

@eesha my first 'date-night' with magnet-man was in the truck and we said we would just see how it goes. We'd met before had a coffee/chatted... aaaaand then on the 'date night' it didn't take me long to get him out of his socks and sandals and place the sacred bum-bag ever so carefully on the seat! I paint such a good picture of him don't. I took such a really cool photo of all the trucks parked up in a row that night, there must have been over 50. I sent him the photo and he said oooooh 'our first ever rest stop! 😂🤩
@Heartbeats0708, how's MrD?
@MayEye i do really hope to see him either next week or in between Christmas and New Year! I'm not a perfect mum. We could do with a better structure to our home life for sure. But no one should be treated this way especially a 12yr old, even if he does like to think he's 18 already... How's things with you and your daughter?

There will still be a ton of follow up from the school to get everything in place for my DS's fresh start in January. And i will be requesting that the teacher give me the folder of 'information' he has on me. He won't be needing it given he'll have nothing to do with us anymore. I'm seeing our family therapist on monday and will ask her advice because i don't want to directly contact the teacher.

@InABetterPlaceNow you don't drive? At all? Woah... how is that possible?
@Eesha forgot to say, i do hope your night is all you want it to be! When the chemistry is there it's sooooo worth pursuing!

@Heartbeats0708 ❤️❤️❤️

@Naimee87 there are no perfect mums, or children or indeed teachers. School and home needs to be a collaborative effort - how dare he try to say you are a bad parent. I’d keep a very close eye on this, document what was agreed by email and possibly do bi- weekly check in’s. There’s no way he’s not biased towards your son now, so without being an helicopter parent- just be a bit more vigilant. Glad it went better than you expected though!

@Naimee87 sorry missed the fresh start. Definitely ask for all your data!

@Naimee87 for the second time today I'm laughing out loud at your description of Magnet and his accessories 🤣 getting some strange looks in the city!
Mr D is bloody marvellous thank you for asking. Steady, secure, sexy and seemingly smitten with me ❤️ what more could I ask for?! Hoping to do DC introductions in the near future, not sure how to play it with the Christmas hype (a good distraction so it's less of a big deal to me or too much happening at once?)

Checking in! Thanks for the new thread. Highly doubt it'll last all through Christmas No updates from me on the dating front. Just focusing on other stuff in my life at the mo - but looking forward to getting back to it in January - probably for some socially distanced walks 🙄 Hope everyone's doing ok amidst all the current chaos.

It is exciting to read so many happy dating stories , it gives me hope 😅. Quick question for those who use or have used bumble , what are your tips please . Thank you

Weekend roll call on new thread.

Been out for some geek coffees which was nice, town quieter than it "should be" but not completely dead.

Good reminder, I think to a certain extent what I "need" emotionally isn't intense male attention and wining and dining and playing the seduction game - it's just nice grounded people I can go out with to do stuff like art galleries and for a chat and a walk?

For some reason using the apps to "meet new people" doesn't seem that appealing right now, so glad I'm focussing on other things

Glad the end is in sight @Naimee87 that teacher sounds well obsessed!

(my expert psychoanalysis says he's probably got a secret crush on you and after you meet he goes to the men's room and sits there kissing your WhatsApp photo saying "HALLO SCHON").

Plenty of work to get me through Xmas and New Year, just hope we're not lockdowned in as I have social plans in Jan, not to mention the THREADIE MEET FEBURARY 5TH/6TH IN LONDON.

My arm hurts from the booster but I guess that means it's working.