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Original poster

He wants to go on a weekend trip away after two dates

145 replies

Marble2021 · 17/12/2021 20:40

I have been on two dates with this guy. I am 24 and he is 28. We went on two dates around a month ago. Both of the dates went well. On the second date, he talked about meeting up again and going away for the weekend. I found it a little odd that he would want to go on a trip away so soon after meeting. I told him that I would rather go on a few more dates first. He said that was fine. I asked if he wanted to meet for a third date the following week. He said he would, but he was ill. He was ill for the next two weeks. Then, he messaged me saying he was feeling better. I asked if he wanted to meet up for a third date again. He said he would, but right now he is on holiday in a foreign country. I feel as if he is not really on holiday but is stringing me along as it is quite difficult to travel now due to covid restrictions. He said when he comes back from holiday, we can go on the trip away. I asked if he wanted to meet for drinks again on 23rd December when he is back from holiday, and he said he might be able to. Two days ago I messaged saying it would be good to meet for drinks on 23rd December, and since that he has not replied. I am very confused. I am not sure whether he is really interested or not. I am worried he could be stringing me along until he meets someone else. It has been a month since I last saw him. What should I do?

OP posts:
sassbott · 17/12/2021 20:45

Walk away. It’s been two dates. You told him what you wanted. And he’s looped back asking for the same thing. He’s already not listening and ignoring your ask.

Personally a weekend away is just ‘I’d like a shag’ talk in my world.

HacerSonarSusPasos · 17/12/2021 20:47

Way too soon for a weekend away. He's hoping you'll feel compelled to sleep with him if he takes you away.

Original poster
Marble2021 · 17/12/2021 20:47

@sassbott

Walk away. It’s been two dates. You told him what you wanted. And he’s looped back asking for the same thing. He’s already not listening and ignoring your ask.

Personally a weekend away is just ‘I’d like a shag’ talk in my world.

I was also worried that he was just after that
OP posts:
dumplings1 · 17/12/2021 20:48

He's mucking you about, sounds like he has to be in control of when and where he sees you. 'Might able to' on the 23rd isn't good enough especially that close to Christmas.

I wouldn't want a weekend away so soon either, sounds like he just wants a quick fling away, glad you stuck to what you want.

sassbott · 17/12/2021 20:48

Just leave him be. He asks again, reiterate your ask (as in more dates not a weekend away) and tell him the ball is in his court to arrange.
Personally I’d already be put off by his pushiness.

Original poster
Marble2021 · 17/12/2021 20:49

I also think he is messing me around

OP posts:
ToffeeNotCoffee · 17/12/2021 20:50

He's moving too fast for you. It seems you're on the back burner. Unfortunately you turning down a weekend away didn't suit him.

SleepingStandingUp · 17/12/2021 20:50

Yeah he's def angling for sex op, and he's not listening. I'd just give it up as a bad one and see if he contacts you what he says

Pinkbonbon · 17/12/2021 20:52

Sounds like he is probably meeting several people and just trying his luck pursuing whomever will take him up on his dirty weekend offer.

Think I'd bail.

grandmashotdoodlebugs · 17/12/2021 20:52

I've done enough dates....
Run don't walk. Oh and block whilst you're at it.

Arghlife · 17/12/2021 20:53

Weekend away= sex. That's hey he's not interested in anymore dates.

Original poster
Marble2021 · 17/12/2021 20:56

I told him that I would like to go on the weekend away, but after more dates and having more time to get to know each other.

OP posts:
Yummypumpkin · 17/12/2021 20:59

Oh he's all talk. V inappropriate suggesting a weekend away again. Next!

Original poster
Marble2021 · 17/12/2021 21:05

I'm not sure why he didn't want me as his girlfriend rather than just someone to have casual sex with on a weekend away

OP posts:
sassbott · 17/12/2021 21:06

You’ve had two dates. Why would you even know if you want to be his girlfriend after two dates?

Yummypumpkin · 17/12/2021 21:08

Oh because he isn't very bright and because he probably can't handle a grown up relationship. He's too immature.

Its not that he was looking for a girlfriend and you didn't meet his idea of one...

I don't think he was ever looking for a girlfriend!!

RaoulDufysCat · 17/12/2021 21:08

@Marble2021

I'm not sure why he didn't want me as his girlfriend rather than just someone to have casual sex with on a weekend away
Because he hardly knows you and isn't interested in getting to know you. He just wants casual sex on a weekend away. It's not the crime of the century if it was consensual between the two of you, but if you don't want that too there's no point in carrying on talking to him.
Icecreaminwinter · 17/12/2021 21:08

I wouldn’t bother. What with the ‘illness’ and the ‘holiday’ I’m not sure the weekend away would materialise anyway.

Original poster
Marble2021 · 17/12/2021 21:08

@sassbott

You’ve had two dates. Why would you even know if you want to be his girlfriend after two dates?
I don't know if I want to be his girlfriend yet. But it seems as if he just wants casual sex rather than a relationship. It also sounds as if he would not contact me after the weekend away once he got what he wanted
OP posts:
Original poster
Marble2021 · 17/12/2021 21:10

He told me about one girlfriend who he was with for many years. It feels now as if he has compared me to her and decided he only wants sex from me rather than a relationship.

OP posts:
Yummypumpkin · 17/12/2021 21:20

This seems to have wounded you quite deeply.

Remember every woman will have experienced things like this.

You are creating a narrative about him and what is in his head.

You don't need to do this.

I'd delete the messages, block him and try and spend time doing something else.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 17/12/2021 21:22

Don't beat yourself up. He's shown his hand. Look on the bright side, he could have ditched you after sex which would have made you feel worse.

Elieza · 17/12/2021 21:26

I wonder if the last gf dumped him for some other guy, and he really wants her back and figures it’s only a matter of time before she realises he bf is no good she wants him back too…

Meanwhile hes horny so is trying to shag around with as many people as possible because he has needs Hmm

I’d suggest he’s not that into you. And that he had baggage.
Dump and move on
Sorry OP

Original poster
Marble2021 · 17/12/2021 21:32

He told me that his last girlfriend went back to her home country, and they had a long distance relationship for a while, but it became difficult for them. He told me that he travelled all over the world to meet her.
I feel quite hurt that he only wanted sex from me, but he would travel thousands of miles to see her

OP posts:
Original poster
Marble2021 · 17/12/2021 21:34

@Yummypumpkin

This seems to have wounded you quite deeply.

Remember every woman will have experienced things like this.

You are creating a narrative about him and what is in his head.

You don't need to do this.

I'd delete the messages, block him and try and spend time doing something else.

I just feel as if he decided I was not good enough for him to have a relationship with
OP posts: