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This is my life in my 30s, it’s not normal is it?
217

Tyiipp · 02/12/2021 17:31

How do I change?

Wake up, login from bed after not sleeping most of the night/waking up regularly

Work from bed all day, try and eat healthily with some fruit and veg but skip breakfast.

Sometimes drive to the shop at lunch.

House is a mess as nobody sees it.

Weekend I go to meet friends if any are free. I’m often known to stay in bed all day if nobody is free.

Some nights I go to yoga.

I feel like I’m already dead. I hate my life. When in relationships I’m so much more engaged with life, house proud, energetic. I feel awful.

OP's posts:
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NotMyCat · 03/12/2021 01:05

@Ayeshstar2020

I would add to the above that I still need to be proactive and motivated but that was almost impossible in the fog of ill health. Now I can at least force myself into a positive and joyous routine

Also FYI I was severely underweight (rather than the expected weight gain) with this disease…. Just in case that’s relevant for you

I was accidentally diagnosed with this. Went for an appointment and they had sent me to immunology instead of dermatology. Immunology seemed bored that day interested and did some bloods and found the antibodies. Had TSH done which was 7.5 and they said subclinical so I argued a lot, got 75mg levo and now it's 1.5
Except I still feel shit Grin so it wasn't that but at least it's treated now
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EllieLucy · 03/12/2021 01:16

The pandemic situation made me like this. Here's my tips.

First of all set an alarm away from bed so you need to get up to switch it off. Now you're up open the window and take a few deep breaths of fresh air. Fold your covers back to the bottom half of the bed. This gets the stale air out of the room which makes it smell better, it airs your bed which is hygienic and now your bed and bedroom is bloody freezing so you've got no desire to get back into it!

Go put the kettle on and get into the shower. Make the effort to clean at least part of you. You'll probably feel better for being clean. Find proper clothes and put them on. Make a cuppa and put the heating on if you're cold.

You need a workspace so find some kind of table/surface in your home and clear everything off it. Get a wet cloth with a bit of washing up liquid and clean it. Add the things you need, so laptop, pen and paper, phone. Plus some nice things like a plant and favourite photo. Go to work.

Set an alarm for a dinner break. Make a cuppa and a sandwich or whatever you've got, but try to make it proper food, not junk. Get a black sack and collect up all the rubbish in your living room from the floor, surfaces etc, take it out to the bin. Get back to work.

Take an after tea break and rest your mind for 10min, go walk round the garden or stare out the window people watching as they go past on the street, read a magazine.

Wneh you've finished for the day, mark it by putting some music on or watching a TV show, to change the vibe of the day. And open the window in your workspace even just for 20min to change the air. Go for a walk even though it's dark, 10min will do to start with, it doesn't matter where you go but step outside and get walking.

Come back and eat a proper meal including vegetables. Drink water, no caffeine or alcohol. Choose your clothes for tomorrow and put them in the bathroom. Clean up your kitchen: empty bins, wipe counter tops, sweep floor. Do the washing up.

Switch your phone off at 8pm. Whatever anyone wants, it can wait until tomorrow. Staring at a screen does something bad to your mind. I don't understand it but I can feel it. Get away from the screens. Read, exercise, get washed, start one of those adults colouring books, paint your nails, whatever, just get away from the screens. Drink more water.

Ensure your bedroom is warm enough but not too hot, have fresh pyjamas if needed, get an over-the-counter sleeping pill to reset your sleep pattern for a week. Read (not a screen!) under dim light or meditate for half hour to help your mind switch off before sleeping.

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EllieLucy · 03/12/2021 01:18

Oh and get some vitamin pills in case you're deficient, if you haven't been eating properly.

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couscousandveg · 03/12/2021 01:51

Is ADHD a possibility? I have it and lived like this and a lot of people in the Facebook groups describe very similar lifestyles.

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Ayeshstar2020 · 03/12/2021 01:51

Sorry to hijack with a response to someone else… my tsh is now 0.2 just at the limit of the bottom of the range and I feel fine now. Didn’t when it was 1.8 or whatever it was when I tested before. Also T4 and T3 are also relevant… I understand you need to be quite substantially into the range so you may want to look into that. Everyone is different but I’m on 100mcg now. Feel the best I’ve done for 15 years!

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Ayeshstar2020 · 03/12/2021 01:56

Sorry the above was in reply to Notmycat

OP, irrespective of the cause you are not alone. You can see from this thread that many including myself have struggled. Someone says waistline she had lost her spark… I deffo feel that. Solidarity and best wishes :) go to the doc but small changes implementing a routine with joyous interludes will help x

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HaveringWavering · 03/12/2021 02:01

Don’t you have to do video calls for work? Do you not have a line manager who needs to speak to you now and again?

When I WFH I find that at the very least making my top half presentable (nice top, makeup, styles hair) makes all the difference to how I feel and makes me work more effectively too.

Sounds like you possibly need a new job- you can’t be very inspired by it, or take much pride in it if you are content to do it from bed every day.

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mathanxiety · 03/12/2021 02:05

Go to your GP.

Talk about depression.

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Pascal80 · 03/12/2021 02:06

@DDUW

I've been doing this for a few years and what I will say is that the cognitive and physical decline has been faster than I could ever have imagined, so I would recommend doing whatever you can to stop this.

Same. I agree absolutely - please turn it around asap, and if you can only face making one change, get out of bed and stay out of your bedroom until you go to sleep at night.

My house is freezing and I worked from bed. I have aged ten years in 18 months and have the photographs to prove it.
Take vitamins C, D, B12 to start with. Promise yourself that every day you will go for a walk - even if it is just for ten minutes.
You can do this. I totally get who landed up where you are.
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Pascal80 · 03/12/2021 02:07

*how you landed up where you are

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justustwoandmoo · 03/12/2021 02:16

I really feel for you OP. I think you need to take really small steps to make big changes. Not easy I know when there is no motivation. It does sound like you have slipped into depression but messaging on here and acknowledging that there is an issue is definitely the first step. Honestly here if you need anything xxx

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1forAll74 · 03/12/2021 02:22

You really must get up in the mornings and get freshened up a bit if you are not ill at all. Write down a couple of things that need doing in your home, You go out for lunch, and to yoga, which is more than some people do.. You will feel more down in the dumps,if you stay in bed all day, and keep thinking your life is rubbish..

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Pascal80 · 03/12/2021 02:22

Walking other people's dogs is a nice idea. but getting your own dog is a terrible idea. It is a huge amount of work and what happens if/when you return to going out to work during the day? The dog will be left alone all day. Bad idea.

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GertietheGherkin · 03/12/2021 02:27

@MynameisWa

I just cannot believe ppl work from their beds! I’m sorry I can’t. You are depressed because you don’t have any oxygen and your muscles must be wasting away. Improving your situation is easy, a few small things will make a big difference. Just get into some good habits.

This is very patronising and condescending. If the OP is depressed, then no 'improving your situation will be easy' won't be that simple!
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Momijin · 03/12/2021 02:33

Hi op. Set yourself work times (I have to do this too as I work all hours). Make yourself a really nice home office so you enjoy working there. With a really comfortable office chair (super important).

I would also go to the gym every morning. It gets you out and you get the endorphins.

Daylight is important so set yourself a goal to walk 30 mins in daylight.

If your house needs it, decorate a room at a time. It will be fun, treat yourself and you'll be more inclined to keep it nice.

Do some hobbies and join some clubs.

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SimpsonsXmasBoogie · 03/12/2021 02:43

Baby steps. Start with whatever feels manageable - maybe you could commit to getting up at X time and jumping in the shower every morning, or maybe you could commit to going for a quick walk on your lunch break. It could even just be committing to going into your kitchen/living room to work, instead of your bed.

I do wonder if you are depressed. If you think this is a possibility then you should go to the GP to speak to them about treatment.

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SimpsonsXmasBoogie · 03/12/2021 02:59

I should add - I got very depressed when I worked from home. I am someone who thrives on routine, but I didn't understand this until I sank like a stone working from home. I had to start going for a run first thing in the morning. It was a bit of a shock to the system but getting out to exercise and then jumping straight into a nice hot shower when I got home was like an injection of confidence and energy. It set the tone for the rest of the day. I suddenly felt able to do much more with my time.

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ZubinB · 03/12/2021 03:09

Some great advice here. One thing I might add is to put some music/the radio on when you can. It's amazing how uplifting that can be sometimes. Little changes to lift you are what you need - then you'll be well away! X

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CiaoEB · 03/12/2021 03:32

If it’s depression it sometimes feels a bit overwhelming trying to make big changes all at once. Do you feel up to seeing a GP? If you’re not ready yet an online support group can be a good source of help and non judgmental support. Tiny easy things that may make differences are as soon as you get up make your bed - don’t get back in. Have a shower then make a coffee and go outside (balcony is fine). Wear work clothes or at least clothes you can wear outside. Clean one room of the house so you have one clean space. Best of luck

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madisonbridges · 03/12/2021 03:42

@EllieLucy. Just read your response and it made me cry a little. I have similar problems to the op. I've suffered from depression in the past. For me pills were not the answer, but changing my habits and routines was. Over lockdown things slipped again because of problems in my extended family. Your practical detailed response is exactly what I needed to hear. It was so understanding of the problems people like me face that it really touched me. I'm going to start that regime myself.
Thank you. 🥰

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EllieLucy · 03/12/2021 03:45

@madisonbridges you're welcome Smile

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NataliaSerene · 03/12/2021 04:22

I think you know what you need to be doing to be healthy. Kick your own arse one day at a time!

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cookiemonster2468 · 03/12/2021 05:20

It sounds like depression OP. Have you spoken to a doctor about this? It sounds like you need some support.

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StarlightLady · 03/12/2021 05:34

We are all different but this works for me when WFH.

  • Alarm at 5:30, get up, check news weather overnight incoming personal and work emails. Make a brief plan of the day with a coffee.

  • Shower, get dressed and makeup. The latter is important to me even if not going anywhere.

  • Breakfast.

  • While working move around every hour. I don’t need lots of work clutter so l move around and work from different spots in the home. Always sit or sometimes stand at a table though in an upright chair.

  • Go for walk every lunchtime.

  • Every Friday lunchtime, Posh Frock Walk! All dressed up and a walk to nowhere. But it enhances that “Friday feeling”.

  • Don’t leave your knickers drying in the background on video meetings 😂.
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madisonbridges · 03/12/2021 05:46

@lunarlandscape
"Set aside a couple of hours each weekend and pick a small corner of the house and make it into an inviting space. Set a timer for five minutes to declutter it. Set another for five minutes to clean it - dust and hoover just that small corner. Bit by bit, wash loose covers, repaint scratched surfaces, add a lamp or candle and a plant or flowers. Pick corners that catch your eye so they lift your spirits and encourage you to tackle another small corner the next weekend."
.........
I love this idea. I've copied it into my planner and I'm going to try this. It sounds very motivating being able to see a transformation. Thank you.

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