Page 6 | Left out at work

jingleballs22 · 2021-12-01T05:47:52+00:00

Hi I'm going to get straight to the point with this as I am in work so don't have time to write everything down . Last year my married boss had feelings for me . Would message all the time , buy me gifts and was open about his feelings . Him and his wife don't get on at all . I know this as I have heard the way she speaks to him and he is a lovely man . I developed feelings for him so we stopped working together because obviously it's wrong and there's was a lot of guilt there . Last Christmas his wife messaged my partner and said we have been having an affair for years . We have not . We haven't done anything apart from discuss our feelings and then left it there . His wife wanted me sacked and told me I had to leave but I wouldn't because I have done nothing wrong . She's basically made my working life hell . I am not allowed to contact my boss for anything or go to our office . This has been for a whole year . Not allowed on work gatherings either One of the women who work with us messaged me saying about our Xmas party this year which I was excited about going to because o have not seen anyone as not allowed . I then text my boss mother who said I am not allowed to attend the Xmas party . Have I got any right to be sad about this or do you think this is what I deserve ?

AndTime · 02/12/2021 17:19

How old are their twins OP?

Didimum · 02/12/2021 17:21

You can say you didn’t have an affair until you’re blue in the face but you both developed feelings for each other and discussed it - sorry, line crossed. I’m fact you’re so far over the line it’s far in the distance.

You asked in your first post whether you have a right to feel sad or whether you have gotten what you deserve. You have your answer - if you just want to make a post with everyone agreeing with you, then don’t ask the question.

You are entitled to all the feelings you want to have about it, but the ship has sailed for you to have any appropriate dealings with this man, his family or the company. You engaged in starkly inappropriate behaviour, and if you can’t see that then you need a lesson in adulting.

Onthedunes · 02/12/2021 17:23

Maybe you couldn't find a feasable excuse to go away for a weekend with having a partner.

Who knows but that's not the point, however much you feel like you were the one in control, you were not.

This man with his own buisness had a awful lot to loose by choosing you. Maybe he's come to his senses and trying to make a go of it with his wife again.

She must be having an awful time trying to get over this with the constant reminder that you are there and trying to create sides with her MIL.
Sounds horrible for her, poor woman having to still have you in the background because of work entitlements, you being so irresistable and all that.

Bluntness100 · 02/12/2021 17:25

Op I honestly think this has happened to you and you were actually the other women who got ditched

🤣🤣🤣 so off base.

Onthedunes · 02/12/2021 17:35

@Bluntness100

Op I honestly think this has happened to you and you were actually the other women who got ditched

🤣🤣🤣 so off base.

This is your mindset.

No remorse for what has happened, no empathy for his wife.

You believe you are even above ow, as you were not discarded.

I think you were, and you were kept at arms length so as not to cause more trouble.

Keep a low profile and look for another job.
You must be an utter torment for his wife.

Original poster

jingleballs22 · 02/12/2021 17:36

@Onthedunes

Maybe you couldn't find a feasable excuse to go away for a weekend with having a partner.

Who knows but that's not the point, however much you feel like you were the one in control, you were not.

This man with his own buisness had a awful lot to loose by choosing you. Maybe he's come to his senses and trying to make a go of it with his wife again.

She must be having an awful time trying to get over this with the constant reminder that you are there and trying to create sides with her MIL.
Sounds horrible for her, poor woman having to still have you in the background because of work entitlements, you being so irresistable and all that.

I actually agree with everything you say on this one

OP posts:

Original poster

jingleballs22 · 02/12/2021 17:37

@Onthedunes

Maybe you couldn't find a feasable excuse to go away for a weekend with having a partner.

Who knows but that's not the point, however much you feel like you were the one in control, you were not.

This man with his own buisness had a awful lot to loose by choosing you. Maybe he's come to his senses and trying to make a go of it with his wife again.

She must be having an awful time trying to get over this with the constant reminder that you are there and trying to create sides with her MIL.
Sounds horrible for her, poor woman having to still have you in the background because of work entitlements, you being so irresistable and all that.

Apart from not being able to go away because I do a lot with my friends so he would not of known any different and I was in control because if I wasn't we would of been seeing each other behind her back

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WhoWants2Know · 02/12/2021 17:42

@AndTime

How old are their twins OP?

I forgot there were twins. Of course there are.

Mudbomb · 02/12/2021 18:33

dunno why but i'm getting troll vibes

KittenCatcher · 02/12/2021 18:39

There are always twins

Monalotmoore · 02/12/2021 19:01

@jingleballs22

I'm so confused right now . He is the boss ! The boss of the company ! He runs at for his father who is dying . His mother is the manager ! Who I was friends with before I even started work for them . Me and his mother are still really close now but I have tried to limit contact because I know I need to cut ties with the family . As for calling my original office my office it is ! I have been there years and I am apparently only put here covering maternity leave ! But I know I'm Not. His wife didn't do anything at all with the company but the 1st day she met me it was like she took an instant dislike to me and started coming to the office ! I did not flirt with the boss either . We got on really well that was it . As for being all excited about the Xmas party and texting his mother . It was not about excitement it was me wondering how I was invited but have been told about all the other days / nights out that I'm not allowed . So I thought he wasn't going and that's why I was allowed to go . I am disappointed because I did want to have a catch up with my old friends . That's it . If I fancied him that much I could of easily of started a relationship with him . Just to clarify to all the ones abusing me on here . But guess what ! I'm not that kind of person .

Saying I need to tell me parter what exactly ? That I fancied my boss ? Surely he's fancied other people before and still does . As for his wife she's horrible . I don't actually feel sorry for her no more . I did but after all these months to think things over I do not . And also the only reason why I havnt been sacked is because I have been there so long that it has to go through the right procedure. And he phoned me after all this happened and said am
I going to take it to court . End of

And your answer there and then should have been yes, I am going to take it to court. End of.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/12/2021 19:08

Why wouldn't you take this to court? You said previously that it was because you didn't want to be responsible for them breaking up.

Can you see that that is a ridiculous reason for not pursuing this? They are trying to sideline and bully you out of your livelihood. Your salary. Your professional reputation. Your future references.

They don't care about you. They don't care what you think of them. So why are you trying so hard not to fall out with them, to your own detriment? It doesn't make sense.

Bluntness100 · 02/12/2021 20:00

Apart from not being able to go away because I do a lot with my friends so he would not of known any different and I was in control because if I wasn't we would of been seeing each other behind her back

Sad times for you, those days are gone, now you’re not allowed back in the office, not allowed to contact him, not allowed on social media, he’s dropped you like a stone and you’re not even allowed to go to the crimbo party. Wonder if his wife will be there? I guess she’s allowed to talk to him, go in the office when she pleases, I bet she could even go to the crimbo party if she fancied.

You’re now in an office twenty miles away, all isolated, but can look at your partner and know that’s what you got.

So sad for you.

Original poster

jingleballs22 · 02/12/2021 20:17

@Bluntness100

Apart from not being able to go away because I do a lot with my friends so he would not of known any different and I was in control because if I wasn't we would of been seeing each other behind her back

Sad times for you, those days are gone, now you’re not allowed back in the office, not allowed to contact him, not allowed on social media, he’s dropped you like a stone and you’re not even allowed to go to the crimbo party. Wonder if his wife will be there? I guess she’s allowed to talk to him, go in the office when she pleases, I bet she could even go to the crimbo party if she fancied.

You’re now in an office twenty miles away, all isolated, but can look at your partner and know that’s what you got.

So sad for you.

Well of course she is , she is his wife lol. Again your trying to make out there are feelings still there . But there's nothing and I am not going to say it anymore . I'm done . For who asked their twins are 9 . Someone report this thread please .I'm done

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Bluntness100 · 02/12/2021 21:28

But there are feelings there op. Else you’d not have started this.

You keep havering on about his wife, about how you could ruin their relationship, how fabulous you are, noble, irresistible, agreeing with people about how sad she must be, how worried, because you exist, you started this thread about how you feel left out how you’re not allowed back to your work, how you’re not allowed to speak to him, about how he’s happily resisting you right now, doing nothing to protect you, how you’re stuck in that little office twenty miles away and none of them, and certainly not him, want you anywhere near.

So when they are all enjoying their Christmas party, it’s good you’ve no feelings left and in the space of this thread, have learned not to care or be hurt by your rejection.

So yeah, you’ve feelings, and they are bitter ones.

Monalotmoore · 02/12/2021 21:50

Still no response to taking it to tribunal then lol

Didimum · 02/12/2021 22:36

@Bluntness100 applause

PickledPeppa · 02/12/2021 22:37

Chances are that he's been using the same cheesy lines about feelings on other women too. Someone else has taken him up on his offers of weekend shag-fests and now the wife has found out. You're the perfect scapegoat so he's said that it was all with you.

Original poster

jingleballs22 · 03/12/2021 00:08

@Bluntness100

But there are feelings there op. Else you’d not have started this.

You keep havering on about his wife, about how you could ruin their relationship, how fabulous you are, noble, irresistible, agreeing with people about how sad she must be, how worried, because you exist, you started this thread about how you feel left out how you’re not allowed back to your work, how you’re not allowed to speak to him, about how he’s happily resisting you right now, doing nothing to protect you, how you’re stuck in that little office twenty miles away and none of them, and certainly not him, want you anywhere near.

So when they are all enjoying their Christmas party, it’s good you’ve no feelings left and in the space of this thread, have learned not to care or be hurt by your rejection.

So yeah, you’ve feelings, and they are bitter ones.

Wow here you go again . The only thing I was half and half about was not being able to see my friends from work at Christmas .I think you have been reading way too many chat magazines.as for all these things you say I think I am , they came out of your mouth not mine . Your the only one who sounds bitter

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Original poster

jingleballs22 · 03/12/2021 00:09

@Monalotmoore

Still no response to taking it to tribunal then lol

After reading all these comments I am going too .

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Dontbeamugallyourlifesucker · 03/12/2021 04:06

Never thought I would be agreeing with @Bluntness100 🤣 but on this thread I totally agree with every thing she has said!

Dontbeamugallyourlifesucker · 03/12/2021 04:32

Good luck with the tribunal OP.. You will need it!
media.tenor.com/images/d8c36bfc564339dd5518bc183243ee9a/tenor.gif

Original poster

jingleballs22 · 03/12/2021 05:16

@Dontbeamugallyourlifesucker

Never thought I would be agreeing with *@Bluntness100* 🤣 but on this thread I totally agree with every thing she has said!

Pat on the back for you 😂 I have literally nothing else to say because of how wrong you both are

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girlmom21 · 03/12/2021 09:04

@jingleballs22 why are you so happy to argue but so reluctant to leave a job where you're clearly not wanted/needed/respected if @Bluntness100 is wrong?

I'd make sure you get a new job before you do anything else that could tarnish your reputation because if his wife is as vindictive as you say no solicitor in 100 mile radius will employ you once you start proceedings against them.

AtillatheHun · 03/12/2021 09:19

How long have you worked there?
Are there any partners in the firm who are non family members?

If longer than 2 yy and yes, I’d say you are in a very strong negotiating position. If they have any sense they will wish to reach a settled compromise so that the messages etc aren’t published in the tribunal. I presume from the nature of your posts that you’re support staff not legal; regardless- are you able to glean from whatever you’ve learned there who their biggest rival firm is? Go to them for advice.