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Original poster

Left out at work

206 replies

jingleballs22 · 01/12/2021 05:47

Hi I'm going to get straight to the point with this as I am in work so don't have time to write everything down .

Last year my married boss had feelings for me . Would message all the time , buy me gifts and was open about his feelings . Him and his wife don't get on at all . I know this as I have heard the way she speaks to him and he is a lovely man .

I developed feelings for him so we stopped working together because obviously it's wrong and there's was a lot of guilt there .

Last Christmas his wife messaged my partner and said we have been having an affair for years . We have not . We haven't done anything apart from discuss our feelings and then left it there .

His wife wanted me sacked and told me I had to leave but I wouldn't because I have done nothing wrong .

She's basically made my working life hell . I am not allowed to contact my boss for anything or go to our office . This has been for a whole year . Not allowed on work gatherings either

One of the women who work with us messaged me saying about our Xmas party this year which I was excited about going to because o have not seen anyone as not allowed .

I then text my boss mother who said I am not allowed to attend the Xmas party . Have I got any right to be sad about this or do you think this is what I deserve ?

OP posts:
Onthedunes · 02/12/2021 15:28

You acted very unprofessionally, so did he.

There must be more to this story, there always is but it sounds as though you want your revenge.

His wife understandably want's rid of you, surely you understand that?

Can you not negotiate some kind of leaving package? I mean really would you want everyone knowing anyway, your reputation is at stake here aswell.

There is a bitterness about your posts that suggest this is not just about the job, you dislike his wife for some reason when she has not done anything to you.

You have disrespected her, humiliated her in front of a workforce if this gets out, are you trying to blackmail them?

If I were you I would start looking for another situation and try not to become personally involved with staff members.

To be honest if you worked for me I would want you gone, along with the husband and a share in the buisness.

girlmom21 · 02/12/2021 15:31

@jingleballs22 honestly, why do you want to stay in this business?

KittenCatcher · 02/12/2021 15:31

Who owns the business, is it his grandfather or father . Did you move to the other location because they told you to cover mat leave or because you felt awkward, you both knew it was wrong and it was a mutual arrangment that you were moved. . How did his wife even have your partners phone number, he should have blocked her immediately.

Original poster
jingleballs22 · 02/12/2021 15:39

@Onthedunes

You acted very unprofessionally, so did he.

There must be more to this story, there always is but it sounds as though you want your revenge.

His wife understandably want's rid of you, surely you understand that?

Can you not negotiate some kind of leaving package? I mean really would you want everyone knowing anyway, your reputation is at stake here aswell.

There is a bitterness about your posts that suggest this is not just about the job, you dislike his wife for some reason when she has not done anything to you.

You have disrespected her, humiliated her in front of a workforce if this gets out, are you trying to blackmail them?

If I were you I would start looking for another situation and try not to become personally involved with staff members.

To be honest if you worked for me I would want you gone, along with the husband and a share in the buisness.

Where has this come from ? Please enlighten me from my posts where I mention black mail , revenge , hating his wife ect ect .
OP posts:
Original poster
jingleballs22 · 02/12/2021 15:40

@KittenCatcher

Who owns the business, is it his grandfather or father . Did you move to the other location because they told you to cover mat leave or because you felt awkward, you both knew it was wrong and it was a mutual arrangment that you were moved. . How did his wife even have your partners phone number, he should have blocked her immediately.
She had it from a mutual friend .
OP posts:
KittenCatcher · 02/12/2021 15:45

There is no reason why you cannot meet up with the friends or his mother from your old office, you dont need permission and why would you want to go to the office party if old boss and his wife are there anyway.

Onthedunes · 02/12/2021 15:49

You were an employee, not a junior, not young and not coerced into this relationship with the boss, your choice.

I doubt very much he would have booked a holiday away with you if there had been no flirting or reponse from you.

It's quite clear who you believed was the the most beneficial to befriend in this company, her husband and the mother, do you not think she has any power, the wife ? The comments you made about her are from your sychophantic point of view.

You do sound as though you dislike her, but side up to the mom and husband and maybe you think you can push her out.

Did you try and it didn't work out, I mean you apparently said you could have easily broken their marriage up, but didn't, how very noble of you.

Original poster
jingleballs22 · 02/12/2021 15:55

@KittenCatcher

There is no reason why you cannot meet up with the friends or his mother from your old office, you dont need permission and why would you want to go to the office party if old boss and his wife are there anyway.
Thankyou the only reason I wanted to go is because I didn't think he was going . Out of the few we have had he's only turned up at 4
OP posts:
Onthedunes · 02/12/2021 15:55

@jingleballs22

Why is the wife not allowed to speak with op's partner if she has discovered her husband and op have had an affair?

Original poster
jingleballs22 · 02/12/2021 15:55

@Onthedunes

You were an employee, not a junior, not young and not coerced into this relationship with the boss, your choice.

I doubt very much he would have booked a holiday away with you if there had been no flirting or reponse from you.

It's quite clear who you believed was the the most beneficial to befriend in this company, her husband and the mother, do you not think she has any power, the wife ? The comments you made about her are from your sychophantic point of view.

You do sound as though you dislike her, but side up to the mom and husband and maybe you think you can push her out.

Did you try and it didn't work out, I mean you apparently said you could have easily broken their marriage up, but didn't, how very noble of you.

Thankyou 😊 I am very noble
OP posts:
jingleballs22 · 02/12/2021 15:55

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Original poster
jingleballs22 · 02/12/2021 15:56

[quote Onthedunes]@jingleballs22

Why is the wife not allowed to speak with op's partner if she has discovered her husband and op have had an affair?[/quote]
There was no affair for the 100th time !!!! He wanted one I didn't

OP posts:
KittenCatcher · 02/12/2021 15:57

Have you kept in touch with your friends from the office and still see them socially. Do they call you to meet up.

Original poster
jingleballs22 · 02/12/2021 16:02

@KittenCatcher

Have you kept in touch with your friends from the office and still see them socially. Do they call you to meet up.
Iv had one messaging me a few hours ago saying I best be coming to the Christmas party because she hasn't seen me in ages . I just said I can't make it but will get a catch up soon 😥
OP posts:
Onthedunes · 02/12/2021 16:03

You had an emotional affair, your relationship was not professional.

Onthedunes · 02/12/2021 16:05

@jingleballs22

Am I supid.

No just realistic, if you discovered your husband had been getting close to someone else, would you be barred from telling their partner.

Onthedunes · 02/12/2021 16:07

I think the wife has the mesaure of you.

Pity your partner doesn't.

KittenCatcher · 02/12/2021 16:12

Its best you dont go anyway, imagine the drama if everyone has a few drinks and starts arguing, it would be a terrible night out.

ValerieCupcake · 02/12/2021 16:18

This is nuts, just look for another job. Bah humbug to the office party as well. Just get another job and sort yourself out.

Mudbomb · 02/12/2021 16:26

Workplace drama 🙃

Bluntness100 · 02/12/2021 16:40

There was no affair for the 100th time !!!! He wanted one I didn't

Aye and Santa baby is real.Xmas Grin

Cmon now op, you thought you’d captured the boss, and you were moved out the way and he dropped you, and you’re pissed about it.

There’s no thought or feeling to your partner here. It’s all about your boss. And your clear Jealousy of his wife, and dissatisfaction you can’t get back in there and near him.

All this boasting about how fabulous you are and how they are only together because you’ve chosen to permit it is frankly ludicrous.

Bluntness100 · 02/12/2021 16:43

Look in all seriousness you’re not invited to the party. He doesn’t wish any contact with you again and him and his wife are together. You aren’t being moved back to the other office, you won’t see him again, he’s not interested. It’s over.

WhoWants2Know · 02/12/2021 16:45

@jingleballs22

Also I am not young or they are not old . So what you have wrote is a pile of nonsense. No offence but whats up with the constant swearing ? They do they people who swear a lot are of low I.q. Think that's right in your case
This made me giggle a bit. OP, have you not been here long? Lots of MNers use the word fuck like a comma.
jingleballs22 · 02/12/2021 17:08

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Original poster
jingleballs22 · 02/12/2021 17:11

@Bluntness100

There was no affair for the 100th time !!!! He wanted one I didn't

Aye and Santa baby is real.Xmas Grin

Cmon now op, you thought you’d captured the boss, and you were moved out the way and he dropped you, and you’re pissed about it.

There’s no thought or feeling to your partner here. It’s all about your boss. And your clear Jealousy of his wife, and dissatisfaction you can’t get back in there and near him.

All this boasting about how fabulous you are and how they are only together because you’ve chosen to permit it is frankly ludicrous.

Omg I didn't see this reply . Op I honestly think this has happened to you and you were actually the other women who got ditched . I actually am concerned for your way of thought by here . Give me a reason why I would be jealous of the wife when if I liked him as much as you think I did I would of gone away for that weekend ? I could contact him now if I really wanted to but I have more respect than that . And yea I am fabulous
OP posts:
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