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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH has changed for the better and I’m still not happy

223 replies

Avocadowannabe · 27/10/2021 08:58

I had a thread over the summer where I left DH for five weeks and then went back.
The backdrop was that he’d opted out of the dc and family life since dc1 was born 13 years ago and I’d operated largely on my own. As soon as I left he immediately was saying all the right stuff, I didn’t have to tell him.
We moved back in - mainly due to my dd being so upset and pressure from my parents to do so.
And to be fair he is a changed man. Since we moved back in September I’ve had two nights away, he is doing half of the morning school runs (I work 30 hours a week and prior to this was doing absolutely everything), he is better with the dc, he hasn’t been off doing his hobby (although I have no issue with him having a hobby tbh, even though it was every weekend and several evenings a week, I get he needs some time to himself too, it’s been his own choice to give up for now).
He’s been saying all the right things, he says he was unreasonable and his behaviour was a ‘piss take.’ He was originally putting some pressure on around sex but has backed off somewhat. Not entirely mind you, but somewhat, because sex has been a major issue for us as in we never have it. He has ordered a new iron and says he’s going to learn how to use the washing machine and do half the washing and ironing. He says he is going to cook dinner three times a week - please bear in mind that prior to this not once ever. He is doing bedtime for the youngest dc two or three nights a week - again not once prior to this.

He’s being more reasonable over the money. I ordered the dc some winter clothes and he paid. He has recognised that they are expensive and taking them out places is expensive. He’s being much more willing to discuss money.

And yet there’s still something about our dynamic that seems off. He wants me sat next to him or near him all the time. He holds onto me when I try and pull away and demands ‘one more kiss.’ I don’t know, it’s still not right and it should be. I’m finding it frustrating that I do not feel better than I do. The dc are happier I think. DH keeps saying he’s happier and how he’d much rather spend time with us than anything else which makes me slightly 🙄 because he’s had years to do that and hasn’t.
I still feel anxious and sad. I’m considering going to my parents’ for the weekend - just me - because I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. I want to want it to work. I should be happy and I am not. Why am I not? We have gone from spending a lot of time with my parents to never seeing them. DH says if I want to go out with them for the day we can all go, but my parents don’t like him. Consequently since September I’ve barely seen them and nor have the dc.
He says I need to talk to him and tell him how I’m feeling. He is absolutely not at fault here. But I still feel disconnected.

OP posts:
Duchess379 · 27/10/2021 22:37

I think you're 'done'. You've had your fill of lazy bad behaviour & you're over it. Doesn't matter what happens hereon out, you've let go. It's up to you now. Stay & be irritated by this man or pack up & move on. Life is to short to stay with someone because of the kids & dynamics. 🌼👍🏼

youvegottenminuteslynn · 27/10/2021 22:38

@RandomMess

His comment this evening makes me think he is reading this thread.
Me too. Massively.
feelingfree17 · 27/10/2021 22:45

He knows he has taken the piss for all those years, and terrified now he realises you have woken up and the game is over.
Quite understandably your resentment runs deep. I would leave.

BigFatLiar · 27/10/2021 22:51

I’m not sure how she’d cope being split between the two of us.

She's just going to have to cope.

Sounds like you don't like him. Doesn't matter if he's turned into the nicest person in the world, won't make you like him. You'll just be picking faults and criticising. It's only getting worse.

Sammiekim · 27/10/2021 22:51

"I dont want to leave"

Yes you do.

That's precisely why you posted this thread op.

"I feel panicky"

You are clearly and rightfully not happy, you cant just go along being complacent or living in this state of denial for everyone else's sake any longer.

You have two options op.

You can carry on dragging your feet about this situation and be back here in a couple months time complaining of the same thing.

OR

You can leave and finally be happy.

As to why you wouldnt chose the later at this point you wouldnt be doing it for anyone else's sake so dont kid yourself of that. You would only chose to stay because it's easier although more miserable.

Sidehustle99 · 28/10/2021 01:07

@Avocadowannabe

Oh I’ve had the snide comments too. Things like he couldn’t remember how to use the oven because his head was ‘full of important things’ comments about not realising my life was so ‘busy and stressful’ in a sarcastic way, and once when I was ill saying he wouldn’t catch it because he was too important and busy to be ill.
It's like they've got a manual on how to be a shitty DH.
smoko · 28/10/2021 01:24

Do you really believe one needs to “plan” to learn how to use a washing machine? A child could learn how to operate one.

Why can’t he just stop saying what he will do & just get on with those things? Vacuuming once, but fucking whoop.

Did he vacuum when you were home to see it, or did you come home & he proudly announced he had vacuumed?

He sounds full of shit quite frankly. You’re not in love with him it’s so obvious. He is making your skin crawl.

Shame on your parents for encouraging you to go back to someone they dislike because you’ve made your bed so should lay in it.

As a PP said the way you describe his behaviour sounds very performative & insincere.

Someone who was really contrite & trying to change would not be putting pressure on you to have sex & making you feel guilty that if you say no it’s putting distance between you.

You need to make plans to leave. It’s unfortunate the children have been going back & forth, it would have been better to not have gone back. But it sounds like you needed to give this one more shot as he was saying he had changed.

Do you really think he has changed? Or is he making the right sounds & doing things only that you can “see” - the way you describe him cooking dinner, it’s like he was making a bit show of it. When you cook is it such a performance or do you just get on with it?

I think he has also read your post here or senses you’re planning to leave

How gracious of him to say he will let you have some space & do things on your own

Am sure you will be much happier free of him. Don’t martyr yourself for your children. One day they leave home & you’re stuck with your partner.

Single 38 year & would rather be celibate for life than tied to someone so insufferable & controlling. He is smothering your spirit OP.

KosherDill · 28/10/2021 01:59

@Avocadowannabe

He vacuumed yesterday 🤔 I feel squashed. I would like some space but I don’t think that will go down very well. I had a night away with my friend and he called me six times and kept saying he was worried about the gap between us widening again.
He's a controller; it's just that now he's controlling you with this phony "good guy" act. It sounds stifling and off-putting. Do you see yourself ever being calm and assured and trusting around him again?
SpidersAreShitheads · 28/10/2021 05:49

Lots of PP suggesting that his new behaviour is just an act, and they may well be right.

However, let's just assume - for argument's sake - that this really is the new him and that he's turned over a new leaf forever.

Even if that is the case, you still have lots of trauma to heal from. And sometimes it's impossible to come back from that. He treated you very badly for a very long time. A single big argument where things are said in the heat of the moment is recoverable but where someone has chipped away at you over a long time, love just gradually dies. You can't force feelings where there are none - and deep down you know this. But by not acknowledging this and trying to force yourself to go against what you really know, your subconscious is trying to make you listen - hence why you feel so anxious and ill. (No judgement as I've done exactly the same as you in the past).

Still assuming he is genuine and no ulterior motives, he's going to be terrified that you'll leave him again. He's seeking reassurance constantly - especially as you're not connecting via sex. There are plenty of posts here from females who get clingy with their partners when they think they're about to be dumped. Same thing here. It's suffocating and despite what he promises, I think you'll constantly feel smothered.

Sometimes things are just too broken to fix, even if logically you want to. You can't make your heart feel what it doesn't.

You could try counselling. I'm not sure if would achieve much but it might help you both to process a split more amicably.

If you really do want to carry on trying, you could maybe try a date night and seriously consider having sex. Sometimes physically reconnecting can spark old emotions. Just to be clear, I'm not suggesting that you SHOULD do this - just that I've seen some posters on here try it, and sometimes it helps. Most times it just solidifies what they already know and makes them feel worse. Might make him clingier too. As I say, just trying to think of alternatives other than "it's clearly over, leave him" because I appreciate how difficult that might be for you with your DD.

If - and it's a big if - you want to continue, you have to view this as a new relationship, not a continuation of the previous. You need to rip up what happened in the past, and treat him like a new boyfriend you're just getting to know.

But honestly, setting all of that aside, I find it hard to believe that these changes are permanent. And it's not just about what he's doing, but what he thinks. Some of the comments he made before were derogatory and demeaning, can one person's attitude really change that much?

There's a post somewhere on here from a woman who had an affair, her husband found out and although angry wanted them to work things out. They'd had a terrible relationship so although not a smart move, the affair was her way of coping. Anyway, she tried and tried and tried to make things work - and her comments were very similar to yours, she just couldn't muster up the feelings and he was clingy. They eventually split and he's been horrible. It might be a useful thread for you to read through.

SpidersAreShitheads · 28/10/2021 05:51

Sorry meant to add - the thread I mentioned has multiple posts, I think the last one is something like Bastard Bingo Around the Campfire - or something like that. Go right back to her first thread and read it through.

CharityDingle · 28/10/2021 06:08

You could try counselling. I'm not sure if would achieve much but it might help you both to process a split more amicably.

Joint counselling is not recommended where there is abuse in a relationship. It can end up handing further ammunition to an abuser. Reading about this man's recent behaviour including the constant contacting of the OP, on a night out, and his demands, plus the way he has treated the OP, in the past, I would class his behaviour as abusive.

Nomorefuckstogive · 28/10/2021 06:39

I don’t think you love him. You could give yourself a deadline, to see if your feelings change and to ensure that his efforts are genuine and lasting. Perhaps 6 months from now? If the thought of six months with him is really filling you with dread, that might be your body telling you it’s over.

orangeblosssom · 28/10/2021 06:49

It sounds as if you may be suffering from anxiety and depression. It's worth contacting your doctor.

Tempusfudgeit · 28/10/2021 07:57

@orangeblosssom

It sounds as if you may be suffering from anxiety and depression. It's worth contacting your doctor.
Are you 'D'H?
Dozer · 28/10/2021 09:21

It’s probably NOT the best thing for the DC to stay with DH, even given their inevitable upset over divorce and life changes. DC1 has already had 13 years of witnessing and being negatively affected by what sounds like an emotionally abusive relationship.

SpaceOp · 28/10/2021 11:12

This is the kind of thing BIL says to SIL.... usually with a puppy dog face designed to ensure that she feels guilty. He recently ramped this up by attempting to convince the rest of us that he was desperate to give her some space and just wanted to do what she needed.... while simultaneously implying that she was "mental" and emotionally abusing him.

I can't help wondering whether he's saying things to your DD to get her on his side. Because while no child wants their parents to split, it seems to me that her active comments etc are her getting it from somewhere else.

wewereliars · 28/10/2021 12:46

Living with a selfish controlling arse will make anyone anxious and depressed.

bargelights · 28/10/2021 13:04

As soon as I read the thread title I knew it would be you. It’s a shame you went back to him, but hopefully the reality of life with this man will strengthen your resolve to make a decisive break.

DFOD · 28/10/2021 13:43

Don’t worry about going back - it’s not a failure - it’s a usual part of the process.

On average an abused woman leaves and returns to her partner 7 times before the last time.

Sidehustle99 · 28/10/2021 15:57

@DFOD

Don’t worry about going back - it’s not a failure - it’s a usual part of the process.

On average an abused woman leaves and returns to her partner 7 times before the last time.

As DFOD said don't look back. It's part of the journey and you will always be able to say you really tried. That said this is making you ill and you deserve to be happy. I would start getting organised - you can do this at your own pace Daffodil
sasparilla1 · 28/10/2021 16:10

If you're not fully done, and I don't blame you if you do, then I think you could really benefit from some couples counselling.

My dh & I went a few years and it's literally saved us from divorce. It was really interesting that she said there are two types people in a relationship with trouble / issues: one that pulls back and doesn't want any physical touch and acts very distant (that's me!) and the other that goes in the opposite direction and is very needy (my husband...) - and she went through how we deal with things before we get to that stage. That also sounds a lot like you and your DH! Just a suggestion if you wanted to give it a try.

I've also been married before and, being very irreverent here, recommend divorce too!!

We all get to the end of our tether with a situation and this may be just where you're at - the relationship has run it's course. It's ever so sad, but it happens. I think it says a lot how it's dealt with, and nobody could say you haven't tried.

wewereliars · 28/10/2021 16:13

Couples counselling is not advised where there is abuse, including emotional abuse as here.

foolonthehill · 28/10/2021 16:51

most people leave more than once when they are in an abusive relationship....it's not a fialure it's making sure of yourself (and him)

10 years ago last week I left an emotionally abusive relationship......I too was worried about my children. The youngest was 4, the oldest 10. I worried about how they would cope without me to protect them from him, Truthfully there were bad times BUT I could help them mch better by being ok (eventually) myself and now they all can see who he is and can call out all the behaviours. They have made different choices about when and how much they see him ranging from never to every other weekend.....on their terms.

I wish you strength and courage and hope that you can find all the resource and help to leave him permanently.
Good luck

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