After 18 years husband attacked me

[Desperate885]

After a heated argument my husband of 18 years attacked me. We were arguing over money and the kids He threw his phone at me which missed and smashed then grabbed my hair and tried to push me down the stairs I managed to keep from falling but once at the bottom grabbed me round the throat. He has never been violent before and luckily both children were out for the night I don’t know what to do I left to go to a hotel but have to go back as have no where else to go and don’t want to let the children know what’s going on. I don’t know how I feel. Is it over or worth fighting for? I have no family to confide in and our friends are joint friends
Do I leave or stay

[Embracelife]

@Desperate885

I did get bruises on wrist and arms and neck and have been told to take pictures which I have now done which looking back makes it even more real dud this actually happen!

Go to gp have them photo and record
And police

[Mamanyt]

@category12

It's not out of the blue - OP says he has a history of giving the silent treatment for up to a fortnight, and I bet there are other emotionally abusive behaviours she hasn't mentioned or acknowledged. That he's become violent is an escalation but not out of character.

That was my thought, as well. We are not, in fact, hearing the "whole story," but I'd bet that story only reinforces that this is a controlling man.

[Shocktober]

OP, please come back just to let us know you are safe

[saltandherbsandnothingnice]

OP I am really sorry, that must have been a horrendous experience.

And I empathise with the strangely not feeling scared of him. It probably feels unreal and he feels too familiar to be scared of. This may not be the case for you - but many women spend so long feeling that violence from men is just around the corner that when it happens it's almost a release of built up fear. And shock leaves us feeling numb too.

I think from the way you have described it, he contains very strong anger and aggression, and is now willing to direct it towards you, and it's serious. If this is what the first time looks like, the next time does not bear thinking about. I think you need to leave and I think your children will understand and will be totally fine in the long run (don't try to protect him too much or to explain too much to anyone - my boyfriend's mum left her first husband the minute he raised a hand to her. That's her explanation and she doesn't apologise for it or explain any further. Everyone respects that).

Good luck OP and sending love and light x

[LadyEloise1]

@Desperate885
I do hope you are being supported in real life.
What a shock you've had.
We women minimise things so having photos of your injuries will remind you and show others exactly what he is capable of.
What ages are your children ?

[DoodlesMam]

@3earrings

glad you are ok

Glad you are ok please get a solicictor and seek help from womens aid. xxx

[DoodlesMam]

@MzHz

The hands around the neck is absolutely a huge flag for potentially fatal eventuality

I know that’s scary, but it’s better you’re safe

this is coercive control