After 18 years husband attacked me

[Desperate885]

After a heated argument my husband of 18 years attacked me. We were arguing over money and the kids He threw his phone at me which missed and smashed then grabbed my hair and tried to push me down the stairs I managed to keep from falling but once at the bottom grabbed me round the throat. He has never been violent before and luckily both children were out for the night I don’t know what to do I left to go to a hotel but have to go back as have no where else to go and don’t want to let the children know what’s going on. I don’t know how I feel. Is it over or worth fighting for? I have no family to confide in and our friends are joint friends
Do I leave or stay

[ItsLateHumpty]

DjangoReinhart Actually if you are asking is it worth fighting for, what happened?

You said you were both 'arguing about money and the kids'. Has he lost his job? Had you overspent?

Umm what now? Did she overspend? Is this serving of victim blaming with a greasy side dish of sexism a serious fucking post?

[DjangoReinhart]

something has triggered this.

[LobsterNapkin]

You should go somewhere else for now OP.

Violence can escalate from abusive but non-violent behaviour.

If this is totally out of character in every way, I might wonder about something like drugs or illness. But you need to get out of the situation with the kids first, if that's the case.

[CJsGoldfish]

You need to report the assault. That's all you 'need' to do right now.
You do this FOR yourself and FOR your children.

[User983590521]

don’t want to let the children know what’s going on.

They'd know all about it if they came home to find he'd killed you - which could easily have happened tonight.

I hope you've at least taken the advice here, to report to the police.
And are now making plans to get you and the kids away from him.

[Derbee]

You leave.

[Maskless]

OP has not returned to thread,

[DjangoReinhart]

probably asleep

[Ilovemycatsomuch]

Sorry I haven't rtft

But if you can phone the police tonight, they will make sure you are safe and also put you in touch with organisations that can help, so that you don't actually have to go back there and be on your own with him.

You are in danger.

Please contact the police and tell them what happened tonight and let them help you.

[zinky]

Call the police. You don't know what he could do to you or the children. Neither of you are safe. Have in your speed dial the police. If he brings the conversation up, record it

[knittingaddict]

Leave.

Violence should be zero tolerance and strangulation is the biggest danger of all. It is one of the indicators which make the abuse potentially lethal. I will look up the figures for you, but men who grab you round the throat are many more times likely to kill you. Sorry for such a shocking statement, but it is sadly true. You have only one choice here.

[knittingaddict]

@Maskless

OP has not returned to thread,

Hate it when that happens.

This is one of the times that it's better that this is made up. Otherwise the op is in serious danger.

[EmmaMaya]

Call the police, so sorry I am sure you are in shock

[Lachimolala]

No. No it’s not worth fighting for, what he did was an incredibly sustained attack. It reads like he was trying to kill you.

Call the police and leave this man, take the kids and don’t go back until he’s been arrested.

I hope you’re sleeping at the hotel but if you can please evoke back and let us know you’re okay, like PP said type anything. I’m very worried about you.

[GiantHaystacks2021]

Call the police and make a report.
Divorce him.
He has to move out of the house and go and live elsewhere.

[Desperate885]

Thank you all for your advice I feel strangely unafraid of him, maybe shock the children are with friends on a sleepover will be home this evening he has not tried to contact me no calls or messages or apologies not that I think at this point I could forgive or understand I have reached out to friends and women’s aid and willl be reporting today so all on record. Unfortunately the house is in both names so this be take some time to sort. Our arguments have also been heated when talking about money he has never liked to be open and discuss things usually walks away and gives me 2 weeks of silent treatment then wants to be friends again. So I get what post about snapped means to a degree he could of just had enough but where is self control or love do you do that to someone your meant to care about.

[3earrings]

glad you are ok

[Desperate885]

I did get bruises on wrist and arms and neck and have been told to take pictures which I have now done which looking back makes it even more real dud this actually happen!

[3earrings]

well done! document everything.

[DangoDays]

@desperate885 thank you for update. Really good to hear you are safe, getting support and documenting/reporting. So sorry this has happened to you. Have you managed to sleep?

[DjangoReinhardt]

yes it sounds awful. I am glad you have reported this. I did wonder if there was a history of heated rows that led up to last night. Keep safe and report times and dates and photos etc.

It sounds like it has been over for a long time before the assault.

[GiantHaystacks2021]

I hope that you do follow this up with the police, rather than leaving it slide.
He should be arrested.
You should be divorcing him for the silent treatment alone, ever mind the violence.
I would be shouting about what he did from the rooftops and the children need to be told too.

[rainbowstardrops]

Oh blimey, how awful for you! I agree with pp that you should report this. If this is the first time, imagine what he might do the next time.

[Toohardtofindaproperusername]

Please phone the police. Dont minimise what he did... he tried to push u ok u down stairs and grabbed you by throat

Write it down factually... step by step.. whilst you are away and have space to think. Send it to someone you trust . Go to the police.
Protect yourself sc and kids first. Not underestimating how difficult bit you must call the police.