Dating thread 214 - the no rules one!

[BelladiMamma]

Here are the only rules what matter!

As for anything else OLD not listed here - make your own ❤️

Yay thanks for the new thread @BelladiMamma

So my guy called me yesterday for an hour and then called me tonight for 3 hours

I'm not reading anything into this though

Thanks @BelladiMamma for the new thread!

@Sugaspunsista

Yay thanks for the new thread *@BelladiMamma*

So my guy called me yesterday for an hour and then called me tonight for 3 hours

I'm not reading anything into this though

Have you met him yet? It's nice when there's that initial flurry of interest. It's exciting ...

I've done a bit of irons housekeeping on Feeld. There are so many acronyms on there I had to do a bit of Googling. So from my initial 200+ matches I went down to about 30 and am now at 8, 3 of them will go to WhatsApp and one (MrActor) hopefully doing a meet zero on Sunday. I won't bother calling it a date because Feeld is very much FAB but with a nicer interface, so it's a meet and greet.

FAB I've kept one contact, someone who comes to my area on business occasionally. No one else really sparked anything for me. I was quite hopeful about one but then he was very iffy about off platform contact. I understand that but it then became a bit awkward afterwards.

You're inspiring me to get back on Feeld @BelladiMamma - I liked the interface too. I signed up to Fab last week but despite trying to get past the incessant visual onslaught of male genitalia, I can't quite bring myself to arrange a meet. There's something just so matter of fact about it. Given the fact I have a tendency to go for unavailable men I can create fantasies around, Fab definitely does NOT provide me with enough for me to create any sort of fantasy. It really is SO about sex that it makes me not want to have it.

@Sugaspunsista that is all very exciting and enticing when that happens, although I would also say beware beware (very slightly) the man who suddenly wants all this attention - it can disappear as quickly as it appears, leaving us all confused and wtaf? I also read something recently which really resonated which is about making sure not to be TOO willing to drop our own lives and give our time over just because a man shows us a bit of interest. I am very guilty of this - 3 hour phone call, when I had plans to watch X, phone my friend, and sort out some chores at home? I tend to always choose the 3 hour phone call with a man showing me interest, but there's something a bit betraying to our own lives when we readily drop our own plans - even if they're completely pedestrian and seemingly nothing - to be available for a bloke who happens to be bored himself at home and wanting distraction. (Am aware I'm sounding a bit battle-weary here )

As for irons, I currently have two, one Irish and one Dutch. Enjoying having two chats on the go, for a change, and neither of them being all-consuming. Spoke to Mr Dutch on Sunday, we've had a few texts back and forth but have arranged a phone/video call on Friday evening. Mr Irish looking a bit more like he wants to get into daily chat territory but again I'm trying to keep it mostly off text and occasional planned phone calls. Can't meet either of them for a couple of weeks.

trying to get past the incessant visual onslaught of male genitalia

Blimey, Having one set is enough, but an onslaught must really put off your cornflakes (other breakfast cereals are available).

@BelladiMamma yes this is the same guy i write about before ( as ddf2)

Good luck with your dates everyone. I have a coffee date zero with a guy I’ll call Mr Sci-fi as that is his main interest. He started off seeming nice but his WhatsApp messages have got a bit over the top, saying how amazing I am before he’s even met me! And very keen to tell me how much he earns. Suspect he may have a standard pattern with ladies.

Morning. No update, and I've not checked WhatsApp to see if he has read it. I know he'll reply at some point so not too worried. I like this new, happier, chilled out me (he commented how much happier I seemed last time).

Off on a petrol hunt today! 😬😫

Oh gawd no @Stayingstrongish - that’s quite a few amber flags already - do you want to meet him..?

Thanks for the new thread.

1 iron I might be meeting next weekend but we'll see!

@Sugaspunsista hope things progress nicely for you 😊

A 3 hour call would be too much for me ...! But it all depends doesn't it. What I'd hate about it is the false intimacy that it builds & then have to recalibrate that if he's bot the person you thought he was. But I've been guilty of letting irons call me and every day and expect texts etc

@ibelieveinmirrorballs once again it's the 'you're amazing' oh you're not the person I thought you were that doesn't work for me.

So I've been away for a few days with my tree surgeon friend who's hopefully getting together with my other BFF. We had some lovely long chats about relationships and it's just soooo hard at our age, with baggage, to make anything work. They like each other but their working patterns don't match up. They like each other but her ex is an absolute nightmare and makes mine look like a nice guy!! Tree surgeon friend is also convinced that other than my BFF he doesn't want a relationship and doesn't know how to articulate this on a dating site.

It all made me realise how far I've come, not least down to this thread. I may not be getting any more dates etc than I was this time last year, but the mental knots I used to tie myself in have largely disappeared.

[quote BelladiMamma]@Sugaspunsista hope things progress nicely for you 😊

A 3 hour call would be too much for me ...! But it all depends doesn't it. What I'd hate about it is the false intimacy that it builds & then have to recalibrate that if he's bot the person you thought he was. But I've been guilty of letting irons call me and every day and expect texts etc

@ibelieveinmirrorballs once again it's the 'you're amazing' oh you're not the person I thought you were that doesn't work for me.

So I've been away for a few days with my tree surgeon friend who's hopefully getting together with my other BFF. We had some lovely long chats about relationships and it's just soooo hard at our age, with baggage, to make anything work. They like each other but their working patterns don't match up. They like each other but her ex is an absolute nightmare and makes mine look like a nice guy!! Tree surgeon friend is also convinced that other than my BFF he doesn't want a relationship and doesn't know how to articulate this on a dating site.

It all made me realise how far I've come, not least down to this thread. I may not be getting any more dates etc than I was this time last year, but the mental knots I used to tie myself in have largely disappeared. [/quote]
Sorry 2nd paragraph below is for @Stayingstrongish

@Isitreallyme177

Morning. No update, and I've not checked WhatsApp to see if he has read it. I know he'll reply at some point so not too worried. I like this new, happier, chilled out me (he commented how much happier I seemed last time).

Off on a petrol hunt today! 😬😫

There seemed to be a lot in the West Country. But very little in the south east

@BelladiMamma thanks for the new thread.

No update from me. Still on holiday until Saturday and back to work Monday which I'm not looking forward to. Trying not to think about though and going to enjoy my last few days.
Might get back on the apps in October but I'm going to prioritize other things so the apps can take a back seat

Thanks for the new thread @BelladiMamma

Update from me - let things fade out with club guy - seems to have been mutual so don't feel guilty.

Had a match on tinder ask for a meet but my gut was telling me no - he is just too good looking for me I think and he seems so busy I doubt he'd have time to date anyway. My gut is telling me he's only after hook ups despite his stating otherwise so let that fade too.

Had a match on bumble that was going well until in one message he said I was guarded and he unmatched a day later - oh well, I suppose I am 🤷‍♀️

Another match on bumble going well and I shall call him Mr Mason. I've taken the plunge and agreed to a full on first date as opposed to date zero 😱😆

I was free last night and he offered to book holiday from work to meet but I didn't want him to waste holiday so we are meeting Friday night. Hes booked somewhere to eat - that does lovely cocktails - and cinema after. Heres hoping we get on as well in person 😆

@BelladiMamma think I’m just going to see how it goes, I have another iron who I chat to regularly (Mr Single Dad) and he seems more steady and reliable, though he lives in a different town which is a shame.

@BelladiMamma it's ridiculous my town is out of it all, my ex drove back from London yesterday and had the same problem got some in the last petrol station he went past. I'm trying to think of the obscure petrol stations in the hope they may have not been hit quite so badly.

[quote Stayingstrongish]@BelladiMamma think I’m just going to see how it goes, I have another iron who I chat to regularly (Mr Single Dad) and he seems more steady and reliable, though he lives in a different town which is a shame.[/quote]
Same with MrTattoo. It's not that far away as the crow flies but he doesn't drive so it's at least an hour by train to meet up, and I would need to drive to where we meet. If he came here by public transport it would take him almost 3 hours.

[quote Isitreallyme177]@BelladiMamma it's ridiculous my town is out of it all, my ex drove back from London yesterday and had the same problem got some in the last petrol station he went past. I'm trying to think of the obscure petrol stations in the hope they may have not been hit quite so badly.[/quote]
Definitely thinking I'll be back in a town if I'm living alone and older.

MrJoe one of my Feeld irons is so cute but the age gap is too much for a LTR ... luckily he knows I'm not looking for one. It's funny because he's in his 30's but is closer to my son's age than mine so it just feels wrong. I could never introduce them! Relationship lite it is, which is going to have to be my mantra anyway

I found Feeld really annoying and glitchy...has it got better?

I'm on Hinge am finding it a bit mixed.

I've been on dates with 2 guys, one I'll call sensible guy has started to give me the ick, seems quite egotistical..

The other Mr hot guy, I really like, we've been hanging out about 5 weeks and see each other about 3 times a week, but erm well dont talk that much...kind of want to ask him where he sees this going but dont want to come off needy...

Ok for a man to join I hope :)

Been OLD for a couple of months now, had a few nice date zeros but nothing that I felt I came away from thinking I’d like another date.

Currently speaking to someone I’ll call MissNature. We’ve been chatted for a couple of weeks on one of the dating apps and now on WhatsApp. She seems really lovely, we’ve had a couple of phone calls and ended up chatting for ages, sent some selfies and videos etc I’ve kept it more on the mundane chat as I’d like to get to know her more when we meet. Hopefully if things go to plan we’ll finally meet next week and I am looking forward to it.

I been really taken by surprise how I’ve felt about this one in that I feel I really do like this woman but I’m constantly having to remind myself that we’ve not met yet to just to take it easy. I struggle a wee bit with self esteem since the end of my marriage 18 months ago but I’m fairly outwardly confidant, she says I’m lovely and she likes me (haha sound like a teenager!) so I’ll take that for now ☺️ and overall it’s been really nice, would just like to know now if there is anything there when we meet

That’s it really.

@feeficken welcome!!
Your Miss Nature sounds lovely... it can be easy to get invested after long phone charts etc ... when do you think you will meet??

@Sugaspunsista yes I think she does too and from her photos she’s pretty as well so bonus! No idea why she wants to chat to me but I’m going with it. We have planned to meet next weekend, she has a small child so needs to plan in advance .

Mind if I pull up a seat? I dabbled in dating last year, ended up in a situationship that went nowhere. Couple of single dates and then last month thought I hit the jackpot! We've been on 4 dates but this week communication from his side has really dropped and he's not willing to make plans to see me. I need to give up on him don't i?