Dating thread 214 - the no rules one!

[BelladiMamma]

Here are the only rules what matter!

As for anything else OLD not listed here - make your own ❤️

@SortingItOut oh my god my dog was up and down all night, she wouldn't settle for some reason. Eventually caved an got up with her at 6am only for her to decide she'd like to get back to sleep at 7am! Like having a toddler again. Today would be a good day for a counselling session i agree. I guess just don't make any snap decisions. If you were to split up what would you miss most. It's hard to think now 'in the moment' how you'll feel a few weeks down the line. But i've come to realise that what i missed when my past relationships ended was the 'idea' of the relationship and the future plans we'd made rather than the actual person i was involved with.

@BelladiMamma I also have been reading the story about poor Sarah. I've tended to be quite spontaneous in the past without anyone knowing where I am so have forwarded details etc to my close friend and she's going to do the same. Poor Sarah had no chance, nor did Sabina Nessa.

Thanks all for the words of support, think I will take a break for a bit and have a rethink about dating

You’ll be back !!! I’ve heard that a lot in this thread . It’s fucking bruising but I bet you get back on that horse 😀

I’m sorry Belladi , I get it . We all have news stories that trigger and devastate us

I agree with Facebook or linked in profile and emailing people

Wayne was a man of rare and unusual cruelty

I think what's worse is that we should be able to trust the police and in this case it was one of them abusing his position of trust.

I've never felt unsafe walking at night but when I used to walk back from the station at night i made sure I walked along the main road, past every kebab van and said something to them, walked past the petrol station and pub. My theory is, as the kebab vans got to know me I had somewhere safe I could stop at if needed and if anything happened to me they would have noticed me.

I'm quite impulsive and keep things to myself as I feel if I tell people I'll jinx it so I don't tell people when I'm meeting someone. Maybe I should reconsider that and give someone Mr Cricket's details and tell them when I'm off to meet him or he comes over.

@isitreallyme177 you really should tell someone wheneeting new people - details and places

It was terrible what he did
I’m not saying we should be cavalier about our safety

But in parallel poor little Sabina Ness was murdered on her way to a date

I don’t know

@Thisisworsethananticpated

It was terrible what he did I’m not saying we should be cavalier about our safety

But in parallel poor little Sabina Ness was murdered on her way to a date

I don’t know

Yea I tend to ignore until the details come out then scare myself silly

MrActor is an ex policeman. I just felt sick and cancelled. I don't know if I'll be able to meet him now.

I always give details and I don't care if I jinx it 🤷🏻‍♀️ I probably would anyway

@Naimee87 You gave MrE ample opportunity to have that discussion. All that needs to be said could have taken place over the phone. It's wrong that he turns up unannounced and thinks that the discussion has to take place on his terms.

I echo the thoughts on the thread about the reporting of SE's abduction yesterday, it was absolutely sickening and I sat in disbelief and disgust after watching the 10 o clock news last night. Just the fact that it was so witnessed disturbed me immensely.

I'm having a chat with my son tonight about this. There's this crazy thing going round his school about not being a 'simp' which appears to mean not going out of your way to be helpful to women. I'm going to set out very clearly when and where he needs to step up and ask questions and exactly what standards of behaviour he should hold himself and his friends to. Like accompanying a friend home. Acting as a witness. Raising alerts. He's not even a teen FFS but I feel it needs to be said, repeatedly from here on in.

Hey all, checking in. Lovely to hear the nice updates, @Dirtyduck really happy for you! Not good to hear the bad news @Naimee87…. Sending female solidarity vibes out and good wishes.. stay safe everyone out there 💗💗

I’m not dating as such so nowt to report, but saw the nice guy in my art course again this week.. he is quite reserved so it’s finding an opportunity to have a chat. It may or may not happen but I’m not hugely thinking about it either way. Not really looking other than that 💛

@Shayelle2009 hellooo! definitely make chit chat, he might be very shy

The SE news yesterday and today appalled me (as it would anyone) and I did have a small weep which is most unlike me. I was basically brought up not to trust the police, and I had a few less than encouraging interactions with them as a victim so I'm not a big fan and would be pretty unlike to date a police officer.

I don't tell anyone if I'm going on a date, I don't have anyone to tell. But I don't feel scared. I only meet in public for at least the first three dates.

Good to hear your plans with your son @HairyArsedMan - the anti women backlash that seems to be going on right now is astonishing.

Hey @Eesha lovely! 😘 so great to hear Mr Vintage turned out to be a good ‘un! In unexpected ways 😍 hehe! You gonna see him again??
Yeah think art man seems shy, I noticed he's come out of his shell more this week. Which is nice! But only 4 more weeks of it, so hard to tell if we will establish any rapport. He seems really lovely though!

@Shayelle2009 you have nothing to lose so I would make conversation much more. If he doesn't respond positively by the end of the 4 weeks, then no point. You then never need to see him again.

Yes, seeing Mr Retro Vintage this weekend . It's brilliant as only about 10 min drive away..

don't tell anyone if I'm going on a date

Well if you wanted too I’m sure you could tell someone from this thread xx myself included

It’s been a funny week hey
The recent murders , you don’t think they affect you but they do
It’s just a crashing sadness

@Thisisworsethananticpated

don't tell anyone if I'm going on a date

Well if you wanted too I’m sure you could tell someone from this thread xx myself included

It’s been a funny week hey
The recent murders , you don’t think they affect you but they do
It’s just a crashing sadness

Yes, a Facebook meme I saw said "what a long year this week has been". I know that feeling!

@Shayelle2009 lovely to hear from you and thanks for your comments about MrE. It’s just weird how he manages to spin things! Anyway i’m done and he has to move on. Go get chatting to that Arts-man. I went and had lunch today with a really a guy i had a fling with a while ago. He is so cute but way too young for me. Was actually really nice to see him. Not sure there’s any spark there anymore but was fun to see him we really get along! I’m glad @HairyArsedMan agrees i gave MrE a good amount of chances to talk. I guess everyone wants closure. But he just doesn’t seem to see my reasons as being valid. It wasn’t a confrontational chat, it was calm. I said my peace and stood my ground then ‘saved by the bell’ with the work call. He seemed to still have a lot to want to say but it just goes in one ear and out the other.
@VanGoghsDog do tell me even if i am far away i think i echo the others you should make sure someone know’s where you are of to on any date you go on.

@Naimee87 hello 🌸🌼 glad to hear you’re ok. Sounds like he’s had chance to do his processing and was ready to talk however for you the ship has long sailed, he missed the boat and it’s done and dusted now. Hope it was left on a calm note and he’s accepted it and leave you be. Break ups are hard aren't they, whether you’re the dumped or the dumper!! Not actually sure which is harder! 😟 x

Nice about the lunch with the young’un too. I had a nice day as also had lunch with MrWork who’s leaving and we kind of made peace after a few months not speaking.

Evening all. The date with Mr Scot went well and he left early this morning but I'm now battling the inevitable anxiety that comes from sleep deprivation and waiting for contact. We've been messaging today and will probably speak later, if I can stay awake. Not sure what this all means as he's newly single and wasn't looking for anything serious...but I don't know if I am either? I don't know what I'm looking for. And actually finding time is a challenge too with childcare commitments. Urgh, dating after kids sucks :(

Hope the chat is going okay @SortingItOut

Hey...

I've just got feeld I find it odd.

Not much to report. Same old stuff going on here. I have NOT messaged Mr HT. (Ok so I may have had a bit of a cock fest the last few weeks to try get him out of my head and it bloody hasn't worked but I've still not messaged)

Thanks for the new thread Bella. Back from my hols and think I will hang on to my serenity a little while longer, before I consider venturing back on to the apps.

Your mention of "simper" and plan to talk to your DS has spurred me on to do the same thing, HairyArsedMan - that, and the horror and misogyny of the latest two high profile murders.

isitreallyme are you still seeing Mr Cricket as potential dating material? Because it sounds like you are. But you have told him you're happy just to be friends, is that right? Are you being completely honest with yourself, and us, and him, about your feelings? Because the way you talk about him coming for dinner doesn't sound like you've got a mate popping in for some food. Tell me to butt out if I'm reading something into it that is definitely not there.

Feeling a bit more inclined to get back onto the apps! after I've cleared this current work period.

I think the idea this time will be to eliminate/screen like crazy

and be happy to only get to the meeting stage occasionally rather than just "date for it's own sake".

Plus restrict phone use when I'm on them so not constantly checking, give them the burner phone so no WhatsApp etc.

@Misty9 this sounds like a good date-night 😉Especially after the MrRunner shenanigans you deserve to enjoy yourself for. I’m hoping it moves in the direction you want. And we seem similar in not really knowing at all what we want so try enjoy whats happening for the time being!

@BelladiMamma i wanted to say thanks for all your posts/thoughts about MrE. I suppose never having gone through this before it’s hard for me to understand how badly/quickly things can turn nasty. The more i think about it and how he’s behaved the more i realise it isn’t normal and i will have a few friends over later. Then this weekend we’re off to my parents place as its school holidays next week so my son’s there for a few days. So we’ll be away, which is good timing reallly. MrE said he’d appreciate a txt from me ‘once i’d calmed down’ but there is no way i’m contacting him again.

@Naimee87 thanks, yes I will try to enjoy it. We spoke last night and he's so open and honest - he said he's a bit scared that I want more, but he likes me and wants to see (shag!) me again. I can see it going down the having lots of sex route... But I don't mind that. He's having a drink with someone from tinder tonight, but he reckons it's a non date and doesn't fancy her. I said there's no such thing! I'm not sure if I'd rather know or not... He had cleared the evening to be with me, but forgot I'm going away. I should probably walk away as I can see I'll probably get hurt with this one. Sigh. I'm not very good at that though.

Definitely block and delete Mr E - can't stand it when men tell women to "calm down" have a lovely weekend away!