Dating thread 214 - the no rules one!

[BelladiMamma]

Here are the only rules what matter!

As for anything else OLD not listed here - make your own ❤️

@Misty9 We matched last week, met Friday, had great time, went for dinner last night but I just feel like he has gone right off me, I'd like to have another date, see how that goes buy not I can deal with the rejction if I ask! I might leave it and see if he reaches out?

Prior to him I had 4 amazing dates with a guy who then fell off the face of the earth and before that a first date but he didn't like me. Its all just making me feel rather crap and that I'm not really anyone's cup of tea. I'm fine alone, I like my company, I'd just like someone to share my time with and this is making me feel a bit worthless.

@Dazedandconfused10 aww bless you, that sounds an exhausting run and I'm not surprised you're feeling a bit bruised. Sending a hug. Is there something you could do to nourish yourself away from dating this weekend? I hate that bit at the start where you're trying to figure out how it's going :( it's an emotional roller-coaster and not always a fun one...

Mr Sardinia might take your mind off your mega crush, @BelladiMamma ?!
@SpringlikeBunk you've made me laugh so much today, "sometimes you ARE the creep" and I am totally a wordy wanker too 😂
WhatsApp just has a different/"reply immediately" vibe to me and text messaging somehow makes me think about what I'm writing more carefully. Me and Mr D started off on text message and it set a steadier pace. It's nice not to feel spied on either!

Good luck with your upcoming dates @BelladiMamma and @Misty9 😁

@StartingAgain6369 Disclosing that you already have kids and whether they live with you or not is helpful, because it filters out those who don't want kids in the equation at all and saves everyone's time.

But if you're open to it yourself just swipe on people who take your fancy and if you match see if you can get a conversation going. If you manage to get that far I would recommend meeting up IRL fairly swiftly. Only then you can decide if there's an attraction/connection.

You can have future kids conversation once you've overcome those (not insubstantial) hurdles...

@SpringlikeBunk thank you

@Languidleopard thanks for the advice

@Isitreallyme177 my cat has definite ups and downs, very moody and emotional.. maybe she’s just having a little episode.. she must miss her sister 😔

I'm going to call my new iron MrWhatsApp as he's asked about WhatsApp....again . Might soon be MrNotInTouch if it continues.

Quite a good lesson for me with boundaries - don't have to respond specifically to every request or message or question, just wait a bit and reply in my own time? I've just written what I want to write and said to call me some time.

MrHedgehog still my favourite I'd say. There's another chat iron I'm slightly enthusiastic about so let's see how that goes.

The "one text to show he was thinking of me, was just where he said he was doing what he said he was doing, not on a date, but with a respectable looking middle aged male European friend, wearing a sensible waterproof German outfit" was just fine in terms of contact.

@Dazedandconfused10 I feel bad for you as the world of online dating totally had me feeling like that. Worthless! Ha. But it’s like an addiction. I’ve not been on it and I do NOT miss that feeling!!

Thank you at @Languidleopard and @Heartbeats0708

A date zero just crept in for tomorrow. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Help 🤣

@Shayelle2009 I'm back in the office 3 days a week, she keeps walking to my study in the morning and meowing as if to say '"come on time to start work"🤣. Think there is definitely something in the air. How does your cat deal with you being back in the office?

@SpringlikeBunk “with a respectable looking middle aged male European friend, wearing a sensible waterproof German outfit"

🤣🤣
I would love to meet them in a bar! Bet they’d be charming af too!

Sorry to hear that @Dazedandconfused10

I do think the online apps format can be so cynical in terms of people meeting someone and thinking "they're attractive and a great catch...but oh, I've matched with someone who looks like X so I'll give them a go".

And people lose the skill of just "seeing how it goes with one person" as they're looking to "upgrade" all the time.

@Dazedandconfused10 when I first separated I had a few of these. Everything seemed so wierd and I didn't really understand what was going on. I felt very fragile so I just took a step back for a while.

The difference between then and now is that I took it all more seriously. Now it's about enjoyment and getting out of the house. If at some point I meet someone I have a LTR with, I'll be as amazed as the next person.

@Isitreallyme177 ahh well my girl is senior now so she is well used to our morning routine when I’m in the office. We are creatures of habit, like an old married couple 🤣 so we go into autopilot depending on where I have to be that day. She’s a clever girl ❤️❤️

@SpringlikeBunk

I'm going to call my new iron MrWhatsApp as he's asked about WhatsApp....again . Might soon be MrNotInTouch if it continues.

Quite a good lesson for me with boundaries - don't have to respond specifically to every request or message or question, just wait a bit and reply in my own time? I've just written what I want to write and said to call me some time.

MrHedgehog still my favourite I'd say. There's another chat iron I'm slightly enthusiastic about so let's see how that goes.

The "one text to show he was thinking of me, was just where he said he was doing what he said he was doing, not on a date, but with a respectable looking middle aged male European friend, wearing a sensible waterproof German outfit" was just fine in terms of contact.

Awwww we all need a MrHedgehog in our lives

@Misty9 yeah I'm not going to even worry about dates this week, I'm out with friends Saturday so that will take my mind off things.

@shayelle2009 I think I'm gonna give it break for a while, it doesn't help that I apparently don't like many people and keep getting 'well, we showed you everyone there is no one left'

Good luck to everyone who had up coming dates, I'm hoping you all have fun and better luck than me!

@Dazedandconfused10 it had me feeling that exact way soooo many times. Then id have a break, feel a bit better, go back on, it would make me feel like shit again, rinse and repeat. The time off it got longer and longer and now i have no desire to go back on. Pretty soul destroying i found it, though I know some people do have good experiences with it. Take care of yourself 💗

@SpringlikeBunk @BelladiMamma an intelligent and charismatic German guy in a waterproof. Grrrrr hehe 🔥💘

@Shayelle2009 @BelladiMamma

Ah, das Geheimnis.

Would like to meet again, but as we all know it's "all up in the air" till it's not!

@Shayelle2009 ah bless her. Mine has had so much change in the past 3 months I think she is slightly out of whack. It's just me and her now, she rules the house I just do what I'm told. ❤🤣

@Shayelle2009 so nice to hear from
you! I was in the office again on tuesday although we're not being told we have to be in only that we are allowed should we feel we want to. All very confusing and still masks needed in hallways, lifts and corridors but apparently CoViD can't get you if you are in one of the 'cafes' or at your desk! Aaaaanyway its confirmed i'm no fan of a man in a suit and i much prefer working from home. But i'm guessing after Christmas they'll be having to make some more definite announcements. Not really much happening 'dating-wise' MrE is finally no longer on the scene! And i'm still entertaining magnet-man's txt. But no apps for me right now! Have a lovely day!
xXx

@Dazedandconfused10, that's a tough run.
I agree the apps can be quite soul destroying at times. I recently went on a few apps for a nosey and was thinking is this it?! Best to take a break and focus on yourself for a bit.

I'm actually missing some proper banter/chat with any iron. I'm seeing Mr Retro next week but we have almost no interraction in between so it really is a FB situation for me. I actually am not bothered if I see him anymore so am going to leave it to him to organise specifics.

I'm convinced getting out there in real life is the way to do it. @Shayelle2009 how are you feeling being back in the office?

@StartingAgain6369

First, I would like to thank everyone who has made contributions to this thread being open and honest regarding the minefield of dating, as a male looking in it has been very enlightening

This issue of male profiles and children is of particular interest now I’m single, I’ve looked at dating apps, filled 2 profiles out to date on different platforms then deleted as I just can’t seem to take that final step

Both times I have said no to children on the profile (I have 2 teenage DD) but if I was to meet someone, fall in love and say for this example they have never had children I think I would seriously consider it. So, would that make my profile a work of fiction, or should I stick to what’s originally said?

What do you do if the lady makes the 1st move on my profile and I’m attracted to her, I really don’t know how you manage so many differing variables without coming across indecisive on a profile?

Or am I over thinking ?

Finally I love the phrase ‘irons’ is there a female equivalent ?

@StartingAgain6369

I'd disclose that you have children on your profile as that's the current/ongoing situation however being open to more in the right context/for the right partner is something I'd not mention.

When I used to date and was desperate for a child/family these types of comments used to infuriate me...the reason being because they made me feel like 'ooh I could be that special one he has children with/more children with )...it was like a carrot stick...

Now, having sorted that issue out myself via a sperm donor (and being pregnant) I'd be no longer concerned what is written in that respect (and what is meant by it) since I'd not be looking for someone to have a family with.

I also think it depends if the woman doesn't already have children or has them.

As a previously childless person (and wanting a family), I'll be honest though and say that I'd be skeptical that someone who already has two teenage DDs would really be wanting to do this again...I'd rather focus on a man who didn't have any so I probably wouldn't have 'swiped right on you' in the first place.