Dating thread 214 - the no rules one!

[BelladiMamma]

Here are the only rules what matter!

As for anything else OLD not listed here - make your own ❤️

@Mylifestartstoday

MrHypocritical was open about it but tbh I think a lot of guys asking for casual have that internal attitude!

🤷‍♀️

It’s like casual as in both parties having equal agency/say/mutual consensual agreement to keep things casual isn’t what they want.

They want to think the woman is desperate for a relationship with them and they’re special and will be top of her priority list and they’ll have all the social power!

When I’ve indicated I fancy casual before (as in I’m transient due to work and that comes first etc) the immediate response of a lot of guys is I’m “desperate for anyone” and they can just come over for sex with no consideration for my schedule or demand sexting on tap.

They don’t like thinking that they’re “optional” in my life or that I have the temerity as a “human with a vagina” to want things that suit ME.

Sexist old world we live in!

And my early dating experience is a lot of guys actually try to blur boundaries with “casual” and bring feelings into it as that makes things “easier” for them logistically

it means they can just come round to be hosted and get the woman doing a lot of the organising/mental load/heavy lifting whilst they make no effort.

mylife what an outdated attitude from Mr hypocritical, living upto his name isn't he. What a spanner!

@FireandBrimstone thanks (I think 🤔.. ), I feel like such an interloper on these threads, but it fascinating for me read about what what women think about men (no much..) then think that’s just one man and not all of us…
But by the same token, I experienced things that women have said / done and think that must be all women, but of course it’s just the one I have met.

Of the thing that’s really opened my eyes has been the attitudes to sex and the talk of sex clubs.. i know there is kinda feeling that men like sex more than women, but I think that’s rubbish really

[quote JustAnother0ldMan]@FireandBrimstone thanks (I think 🤔.. ), I feel like such an interloper on these threads, but it fascinating for me read about what what women think about men (no much..) then think that’s just one man and not all of us…
But by the same token, I experienced things that women have said / done and think that must be all women, but of course it’s just the one I have met.

Of the thing that’s really opened my eyes has been the attitudes to sex and the talk of sex clubs.. i know there is kinda feeling that men like sex more than women, but I think that’s rubbish really[/quote]
It was meant positively, yes!

You raise another really good point about the preconceptions and past experiences which sometimes are the screen through which we perceive a new person. Mr Sexty was talking about that on our call this week too. They should be a blank canvas but it's so easy to overlay that 'filter' before people can even get a chance.

@SpringlikeBunk this is exactly why I’ve stopped bothering. I mean I know good men, really good men so it’s not that I think there are no good guys out there. I just can’t be arsed wasting time on the apps trying to find any. I don’t want to say I’ve given up trying to meet someone special but I’ve given up on looking if that makes sense..

Mylifestartstoday
Jesus what a knob

I’m seeing a bit of a Madonna whore complex with some men , a lack of acceptance that women have sexual desires equal to men
That said I’m seeing it with my friends too !!!

My paltry 3 irons are all radio silent this weekend

I have one 54 year old I quite like the sound of so I’m not sexting or really texting him ahead of our date

I dumped my obsession and he’s now texting again hahahaha . But I’m very maturely deleting every conversation so I can’t text him

My magnet guy has been back in touch...I'm so not interested though. He only gets in touch when he's got his kids, he's always out on child free nights. He never used to go out. That - coupled with him being off the sites makes me more sure he's got a new lady friend.

I just think what a knob really...not v nice in her that he's texting / calling me if it's the case, am I'm not being a side piece!

Off to cuddle my twatcat 😁

but it fascinating for me read about what what women think about men (no much)

Must be wince inducing at times !

My paltry 3 irons are all radio silent this weekend

Hated it when that happened, few months back had 2 chats going and one of them (Ms restaurant), would go into silent running mode for days at time, it’s most infuriating

@Shayelle2009

Yeh I’m trying to “lightly” keep my hand in as I so agree with what you’re saying about the good guys being out there - but the sense of entitlement is just really horrendous sometimes!

Might have a tinder and bumble dabble when I’m back.

(And run off screaming within eight hours )

I’m not actually infuriated
Just bored !!!! No petrol , skint , it’s raining , my youngest is climbing the walls (can’t he just bloody game !!!)

One I know is a sex maniac so is probably getting some (or trying to pretend he is )
One is just a shit communicator and will never change but I fancy him
And one we’ve agreed no non stop texting 💬 before we meet

I mean realistically I’ve met two very decent guys on bumble and plenty of fish who I consider friends (timing and location were the only barriers to a relationship).

Which is great, as a single attractivish woman it can be hard meeting interesting new people as new social groups sometimes can be fairly difficult and act like a “new lone woman” has the plague!

So I need to not just isolate myself
from the dating scene 100%

But it’s the sifting through the creeps and degenerates that’s tedious 😬🤷‍♀️

Wish you luck @SpringlikeBunk you only need some good luck/timing!

@TwatInTinFoil …. TwatCat 🤣🤣❤️❤️

*but it fascinating for me read about what what women think about men (not much)

Must be wince inducing at times !*

Yes, some of it is pretty hard going, bit like reading about when your football team plays badly, your still a supporter, but it’s brutal stuff. (I support NCFC ! ).

The other thing I have noticed on this forum is that sometimes women kick the hell out each other on this site, you lot are really brutal to each other.

It’s a brutal forum at times
Reddit is kinder !!
Never ever ever post a problem in Aibu
Stick to supportive threads and topics and it’s amazing

No update from me, I agree about cats being the best although mine is currently stopping me make my dinner by sitting on my lap whilst I'm watching QVC and all their Christmas stuff is making me change my mind about Christmas being shit.

Mr Cricket goes silent when he's working I've noticed. It used to worry me and make me think he was avoiding messaging me but now I've worked it out it doesn't bother me.

Just dipping in here during a very busy time in my life and also on OLD ...

As usual very hard to get meets at times that suit me but Feeld is keeping me very busy. I'm enjoying the attention 🤷🏻‍♀️ what can I say 🤣

Bloody apocalyptic weather anyway so I probably don't want to be going out ...

Christmas stuff is making me change my mind about Christmas being shit.

Good position ! I’m starting Halloween and Xmas early
We need to spark joy 🤩

Cuffing season lol 😆

“...and ‘twas the Night before Christmas...

And the ghosts of old ex irons past sent messages..

“Hey, how’ve you been?”

“Was just thinking about you”

“Can I see a photo of you?”

“Hey!”

Etc etc

(I really need to get some new irons myself or I’ll be one of those creeps recycling old contacts)

Only 3 months spring
Crack on

You seem to have perked up Belladi!?

@Thisisworsethananticpated

😆👍🏽💪🏽

I’m at my parents place (2hr drive away from my place) and its dawned on me that this trip has been the first in a long time where i’ve not been wondering/waiting on messages from anyone. I’m no longer being bombarded by MrE or been left hanging by magnet-man. Or got any chats on the go taking up precious headspace, it’s unbelievably relaxing, i’m just enjoying being here, feeling so free! So i’m with you @Shayelle2009 i’ve given up on looking!
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards you’re back!! Hope you’re doing fine!
@SortingItOut completely understand the kids situation. It happened to my DS too and we weren’t involved half as long as MrK and his DS were but it still caused hurt and a lot of confusion for his DC and my DS when we ended things. Hoping you’re feeling better. I’m sure you look fantastic and hope you get as sloshed as you want and let your hair down! I didn’t think i’d get through this week given how it started with DS acting up at school and MrE’s surprise visit. (DS doesn’t know he came by) But we made it!! Have a extra drink for me! And look forward to hearing how the pary was! 🤩