I hate my DP. Finally.

[NoLongerADoormat]

It has happened. 3 years of financial abuse, isolation, shit self esteem and blows to the head I have realised I fucking hate my partner.

I don't actually know where to go from here. He punched me in the head on Monday then got his mum on the phone to tell me how nasty I am for carrying on an argument. He's in my house and every time I tell him to leave he says he's staying here for his son. I've waited ages for my house, it's council and I can't afford private especially not in this area.

What do I do. I don't want this waste of air in my house or in my life.

can you ask him to leave and if he does not get the police involved? in fact get the police involved anyway if he is hitting you. is his name on the house?

You poor thing. He hit you in the head?! The abusive thug.
Can you tell the police he hit you and that it's your house and he wont go?

Phone the police. Now

Call the police. He has no right to stay if it’s in your name and he’s already been violent. He’ll do it again. Next time it might also be your child.

Block his psycho mum.

Call someone you trust.

No just my name on the house thankfully. I was considering when he goes to work tomorrow phoning the council to do a lock change and just dumping his stuff on the street

Phone the police and report his violence.

They’ll them you want him gone. I’m assuming he’s on the tenancy in which case you can get him out. Get the locks changed and become free of him.

It will be the best thing you do.

I am trying to do it in a way without police involvement unless absolutely necessary. I don't want to flee, I'm gonna look into a non mol. I just hate him so fucking much he's asleep next to me in bed now and I just want to stand on his head. I hate this man and what he's done to me

Phone the police!

if he won’t go there is no reason not to involve the police? they are much better with domestic violence since the pandemic. their job is to uphold the law.

You are making this much more complicated than it actually is. He's violent and squatting in your home. Call the police.

They won’t make you flee. They’ll help you get him out.

How old is your child?

My son is 8 months old.
I'm not making anything complicated at all I don't want the police here when I know full well how he's gonna react itll either me attack me the second he sees the car pull up outside or make a scene.

You should absolutely have the police involved as you’ll be able to access legal aid once he starts being abusive after the split and tries to get unreasonable access to your small baby.

Sorry - you’ll be able to access legal aid as a victim of DV

Ring them now if he's asleep, he won't know until they are waking him up! Show your baby you don't stand for people's bullshit and get the bastard out.

It's easier to get a non mol and only supervised contact with your son if you gave a police report documenting the DA.

Call them now. Honestly, just think when you wake up in the morning he won't be there. It's YOUR house. Call them and tell them you want him out and he's violent towards you

I would suggest you contact Women’s Aid or the National Domestic abuse helpline which is open 24 hrs. Women’s Aid website also has online chat advice and a forum section. They will have lots of experience of helping women in your position and will be able to advise on your options. Be careful, calling the police right now may not be a good idea if you think it could make him more violent to you. Hopefully you can contact one of the helplines without him knowing?

@NoLongerADoormat

My son is 8 months old. I'm not making anything complicated at all I don't want the police here when I know full well how he's gonna react itll either me attack me the second he sees the car pull up outside or make a scene.

Of course he is going to react badly but how else will you get him to leave. Can you tell the gp tomorrow that he has been hitting you? And not just hitting you but hitting you in the head 😪

All the people who are advising to call the police, see OP’s latest post where she says her partner may attack her if the police arrive.

If he comes home tomorrow night and finds the locks changed, how is he going to react? By the sounds of it he could attack you, or put all the windows through.
I would inform the Police tomorrow morning (or even now) and let them know what you are planning. See if they can be there when he returns home to meet him in the street. He has assaulted you and deserves everything he gets. I have no words about his mother.....

You need to phone the police. He is a violent abuser. The most dangerous time for you is when he realises you are leaving him. He punched you in the head already this week. He could kill you.

@minipie

All the people who are advising to call the police, see OP’s latest post where she says her partner may attack her if the police arrive.

He will attack her anyway. And maybe the child. She needs advice from the police.

OP get locks changed and go stay with friend or relative for a few days

The head hit isn't an isolated incident. I've often took a beating round the head from him. I do actually have a GP appointment on Tuesday for my smear so I am planning on mentioning it to the nurse.