AS husband stormed out of hotel

[Stressedagain21]

He's been gone over 1.5 hours now. We're on holiday. I think he thought that I was taking too long in the shower because it happened once before. I didn't think I was that long but when I came out he'd gone. I thought maybe he was in the gym but no. I've been walking around the streets looking for ages no sign of him and he's not answering his phone. He's probably in shutdown. Starting to worry. I'll try phoning him again but not sure what to do.

Are you still booked into the hotel for another night? If so I'd just leave a note in the room saying he should call you when he gets back, then go out and enjoy your day. Don't ruin your own day because of this.

I would just go and enjoy my day and leave him to sulk. Are you on your own (apart from husband)?

Is he seriously punishing you for being in the shower for "too long?"

I agree with PP. As long as your still on holiday go out and leave him a note. It's a bit attention seeky to storm off and ignore your phone calls

Leave him to it. Go out and enjoy the day.

We leave on Friday. I hate this. I'm assuming he's not checked out of the hotel already as I am still in the room. His bags are still here. Just worry that he's done something stupid. Last time it happened he eventually picked up the phone and gave me an earful but told me where he was and by the time I got there he'd calmed down and we got lunch. This time he's not read my messages and his phone is ringing out. Ugh

Leave him to it and do your own thing.

Are you prepared to live the rest of your life dictated to like this? I have as children they are taught your rules are not mine my being "in the shower" is not hurting you and I will continue to be "in the shower" at my convenience not yours they accept this as they have got older my 12 year old allows me to brush my teeth without him screaming about it we just adjust I say im brushing my teeth he stays away from the bathroom and we both respect boundaries

Let him sulk alone and just go out.

Leave a note and go and enjoy your holiday

How ridiculous! I certainly wouldn’t be looking for him I’d be switching my phone off and enjoying my day.

What does AS mean? What do you mean by shutdown?

Does he have access to a car?

Yes it's just us.

He sounds like a dick tbh. Leave him to it, he wants this reaction from you.

What? Just let him get on with it. You go and do your thing. Leave a note in the room for him if you're concerned. Or repay his attitude and don't bother. He can contact you

Aspergers syndrome. I have my car keys here. Don't suppose he'd try to get the train home and leave me with all his stuff?!

Have you asked the hotel staff?

Stop looking for him. Go and do something and think about whether this relationship is making you happy.

He's left as I presume he thought you were wasting his time by having, in his opinion, too long a shower. But it's ok for him to waste your time hunting him down? How exhausting. 💐

Left you with all his stuff? What stuff? Surely it's just a matter of putting his clothes and toiletries in the suitcase when you go if he has gone home by train.

I'm autistic. My husband says "I cannot blame everything on that" he definitely would t come looking for me.

I have ASD.

Stop worrying about a grown man. He is not entitled to control your behaviour by going off in a huff just because he is neurodivergent.

You, on the other hand, are entitled to be very angry with with the way he is behaving.

My STBExH used to do this - often. He is not Dx AS(D) but clearly is.
both our teens are ASD Dx'd & they'd understand not to 'go off on one' however upset they felt as the person behind would worry about them.
He wants you to worry about him.
This is not necessarily caused by his ASD.
I would leave him a note in case he comes back & go occupy yourself for a bit. Find a nice coffee / shop (locally if you prefer).
When he comes back be calm and kindly but don't fuss in any way.

oh and ALSO (pressed post too soon...)
use the time to have a think about whether you want to put up with this if he doesnt want to change (quite likely)

Thanks everyon. I'm going to go and get lunch. Usually when he shuts down it's at home and he is so overwhelmed he can't speak or look at me and might go to bed or read or something. The worst time lasted 3 days and he then turned it on me and said I'd been ignoring him! It doesn't happen very often though. He's not blocked or deleted me on FB etc this time, he's done that before.

Yes just his belongings would go in his bags but I have mine as well.

I haven't spoken to the staff, I think it's a different woman on reception now.

I'm going to get lunch and try to calm down.

I also told him after the last time to bang on the door and tell me to hurry up if he thinks I'm being too long rather than storming off like that.

It's frustrating.