To think maybe this is not normal

[Poppy298]

Long story short I’ve been noticing things that make me feel my relationship is not right. We have been together a long time but these little things have been getting worse. I don’t know if I’m genuinely to blame or if this isn’t normal.
So for example we don’t live together he asks me to do his food shopping (he works full time and me part time) so I am ok with that but if I can’t do it the day and hour he wants it he goes off on one. Today is another example I said I would drop the food shopping off at his work as he’s finishing earlier but his home and work is 30 min from me and I was going food shopping early so I said I would drop it at his work. He was ok with this. He then asked me to call him a taxi as he is working later now so that he could drop his food at his house and go back to work. I booked one online to be dispatched ASAP and taxis in the area were really busy and it took longer than expected. He then rang me to say it’s all my fault he will be late back to work because I should have waited around to take him back home on his lunch break so he wasn’t relying on taxis. He is now not speaking to me. Another thing is I went to collect him some new release trainers I got to the shop as soon as they opened especially so i got them in time, he then asked me to drive to his work (a further 25 minutes) and drop them off. I said I couldn’t do that and I would drop them off on Sunday (today) which I did. He is now telling me if the size is wrong and it doesn’t fit he wants the money off me for the shoes because all pairs have sold out now and if I’d have dropped them off on the day I bought them it wouldn’t have been a problem. He is so angry when he says all this and insults me at the same time. These are just little examples but they happen every day. I have to apologise all the time but I genuinely don’t think I’ve done wrong?

Why are you allowing yourself to be his skivvy? Get rid.

I can't imagine why you are doing these chores for him. If he needs a PA let him hire one.

You know its not normal

I know I do feel and look like a mug but I suppose I’ve just always done it and he makes me feel bad if I don’t

What positive things do you get from this relationship, because to me you sound like the hired help, and an emotional punching bag.

What lack of self-esteem has led you to think that acting as your angry, selfish, entitled boyfriend’s unpaid skivvy is remotely ok?

Ditch him and never jump on anyone else’s command again. Imagine how good it will feel to remove a source of relentless demands and criticism from your life.

My DH heard something on the radio about one of the Rolling Stones having a person to do everything for them.
Apparently this individual is called a chore whore

thank you for this comment it’s actually opened my eyes to what I’m doing. Yes I suppose I must be lacking in self esteem to think that this is ok ☹️

First of all thank your lucky stars that you don’t live together.

Then thank your lucky stars that you are smart enough to finally know that this is all wrong.

Then, thank your lucky stars you are not married to this arse.

Walk away and save yourself a lifetime of misery. He can sort out his own bastard trainers.

If you walk away you are winning 🏆

How can you, even for a nano second, think this is normal? Keep doing it if you want but i cannot comprehend how you even need to query this.

He’s using you and manipulating you. And taking advantage of your low self esteem (when a good partner would be building it up).

Jeezo, this is not ok. Dump this abusive twat, work on your self esteem, be happy!

@SheldonesqueTheBstard

First of all thank your lucky stars that you don’t live together.

Then thank your lucky stars that you are smart enough to finally know that this is all wrong.

Then, thank your lucky stars you are not married to this arse.

Walk away and save yourself a lifetime of misery. He can sort out his own bastard trainers.

If you walk away you are winning 🏆

LOVE THIS 😂 thank you!

I must say I’ve been with this guy since I was 18 so maybe being young and naive ive just become conditioned to his way of thinking (I’m now 23)

Jesus OP... you're like an unpaid personal assistant. He thinks you're his skivvy. What are you doing woman?!

The good news is you haven't moved in together and have no ties so dump him and start working o. Your self esteem as the fact you even have to ask if this is normal means you must have a really low bar. Don't agonise about dumping him either, even you can't face him just text him and block him - you owe him nothing, the vile prick

And he is older he is 29

and he makes me feel bad if I don’t

Because he knows he is onto a good thing.

You aren't his "chore whore".

Get rid, and find someone who doesn't treat you like a skivvy.

@SeriouslyISuppose

What lack of self-esteem has led you to think that acting as your angry, selfish, entitled boyfriend’s unpaid skivvy is remotely ok?

Ditch him and never jump on anyone else’s command again. Imagine how good it will feel to remove a source of relentless demands and criticism from your life.

Spot on post.

You are doing stuff for him all the time and it's never good enough.

Your not his partner. You're his unpaid slave.

He is acting like you are his house keeper not a partner. It doesn't matter if you work part time and him full time.

Ask him what his last slave died of and then block.

Oh Poppy.
You're 23 - the world is your oyster and this creature that you've saddled yourself with, is no pearl.
Just stop.
Abandon him to his own fate and concentrate on looking after you.

@Poppy298

I must say I’ve been with this guy since I was 18 so maybe being young and naive ive just become conditioned to his way of thinking (I’m now 23)

Then don’t waste another minute of your life appeasing him. You’re really young. There is a world of men out there who don’t confuse ‘girlfriend’ with ‘unpaid PA’. But it sounds to me as if you’d benefit from some time being single before thinking about dating again, and some therapy for your self-esteem issues. Good luck!

This is not normal at all. OP, please get away from this person as soon as you can.

If he's behaving like this now, imagine how he'd treat you if you were financially dependent, or had children with him. Run.

Ok love - blame it on being young and daft and not knowing any better.

Don’t be old(er) and daft and blinker yourself to his treatment of you.

You are young and you can be paid for being a PA if that is a role you want.you can also be with someone who won’t treat you like a servant.

And if he come out with pish like he’ll change? Tell him that you are sure his next partner will appreciate his efforts.

Bloody hell, I’ve worked as an actual paid PA and my boss didn’t treat me like this! This is absolutely outrageous and I’m just relieved you don’t live together because that should hopefully make it easier for you to leave him forever, which you absolutely must do.

My ex was a bit like this, expecting me to use any time off I had to run around doing chores for him. I don’t think he even knew how to post a parcel because he got me to do every single post office trip for him, and I used to book all his travel and print off tickets for him. I can’t tell you what a relief it was when I realised I never had to do any of that again! I’m happily married now and my husband and I do favours for each other all the time but he’s never once made me feel like it’s my job to do anything for him or got annoyed with me if I couldn’t.

Run and never look back!

He then asked me to call him a taxi as he is working later now so that he could drop his food at his house and go back to work. I booked one online to be dispatched ASAP and taxis in the area were really busy and it took longer than expected. He then rang me to say it’s all my fault he will be late back to work because I should have waited around to take him back home on his lunch break so he wasn’t relying on taxis.

But ... he specifically asked you to call him a taxi, not to give him a lift???

He is now telling me if the size is wrong and it doesn’t fit he wants the money off me for the shoes because all pairs have sold out now and if I’d have dropped them off on the day I bought them it wouldn’t have been a problem.

You told him what you were able to do. He was free to make other arrangements. It's stupid to buy clothing or shoes this way if he doesn't know his size in that brand/style. Was he going to send you back to keep picking up different size and bringing them to him and taking them back? He's either a nutter, or massively using you. Either way he he's being very childish: he can NEVER take any blame for his bad decisions or things that don't work out, and can't just deal with the unexpected - it's always some horrible disaster, and it's always someone else's fault.

He is so angry when he says all this and insults me at the same time. These are just little examples but they happen every day. I have to apologise all the time ...

What's the point of being in a relationship with someone who bullies you and treats you like crap -- every day!!!!! - and makes you feel guilty for no reason? Sounds miserable.