To think maybe this is not normal

[Poppy298]

Long story short I’ve been noticing things that make me feel my relationship is not right. We have been together a long time but these little things have been getting worse. I don’t know if I’m genuinely to blame or if this isn’t normal.
So for example we don’t live together he asks me to do his food shopping (he works full time and me part time) so I am ok with that but if I can’t do it the day and hour he wants it he goes off on one. Today is another example I said I would drop the food shopping off at his work as he’s finishing earlier but his home and work is 30 min from me and I was going food shopping early so I said I would drop it at his work. He was ok with this. He then asked me to call him a taxi as he is working later now so that he could drop his food at his house and go back to work. I booked one online to be dispatched ASAP and taxis in the area were really busy and it took longer than expected. He then rang me to say it’s all my fault he will be late back to work because I should have waited around to take him back home on his lunch break so he wasn’t relying on taxis. He is now not speaking to me. Another thing is I went to collect him some new release trainers I got to the shop as soon as they opened especially so i got them in time, he then asked me to drive to his work (a further 25 minutes) and drop them off. I said I couldn’t do that and I would drop them off on Sunday (today) which I did. He is now telling me if the size is wrong and it doesn’t fit he wants the money off me for the shoes because all pairs have sold out now and if I’d have dropped them off on the day I bought them it wouldn’t have been a problem. He is so angry when he says all this and insults me at the same time. These are just little examples but they happen every day. I have to apologise all the time but I genuinely don’t think I’ve done wrong?

@Bluntness100

Oh god, you’re only 23. Bin his arse and go live your life, cmon you know being this mans servant and whipping boy isn’t right. Please end it. I’d be horrified if my daughter was degrading herself like this to stay with some loser.

This exactly . Get counselling , get therapy , get whatever you need to get rid of this horrible man .

There is so much better out there for you. You can have a career, a fulfilling relationship (if you want one) and so much else besides. Most of that is already in motion- you are in a better position than a lot of women who realise that Prince Charming is actually a steaming turd.
All you need to do is dump him. Don't explain why, though, or he will try to turn it round on you and drag you back into the relationship.
Text the twat ("You're dumped" is enough information), block him and then get on and live your life.

Wow, what an absolute knob. You know this isn't normal! Get rid.

You're describing classic coercive control.

Bin the abuser and do the Freedom Programme course so you can avoid men like him in future.

Ask him to find a new PA🤷

Run, as fast as you can, it wont get better.
Sorry

Get rid of this total cunt and get yourself a lovely life where you are in charge of you.

Of course this isn't normal. Tell him to fuck off and do his own bloody shopping. Seriously, the entitled ungratefulness of this is off the scale.

Tell him to fuck off and do his own shopping like the rest of the world do-what an arsehole

Yes he has made comments about me being at uni and that I won’t make it anywhere in life. He’s also very angry about his work situation. Apparently any good woman would have helped him to start a successful business so that he didn’t have to be an “employee” and could work for himself. But I didn’t do that, I don’t have a money tree plus his business ideas are shit anyway. Actually the more I think about all this crap I deal with the more angry I’m getting 😂

Honestly op. Bin him. Immediately. Your future self will look back and thank you. And if you don’t your future self will look back weary, exhausted, no self esteem, and weep bitter tears that you didn’t.

@Poppy298

thank you for this comment it’s actually opened my eyes to what I’m doing. Yes I suppose I must be lacking in self esteem to think that this is ok ☹️

I really hope it has , nobody should put up with this , if been with my dh more than 20 years and he would never speak to me like this . This guy wants a unpaid skivvy not a partner , you wouldn’t speak to a employee like this never mind someone who’s actually meant to be a partner . Tell him to get fucked op you’ll feel better for it , the poor lamb will have to get his own shopping.

'Yes he has made comments about me being at uni and that I won't make it anywhere in life'

You're at uni - you're already making it in life. You've got a whole fabulous life ahead of you - you just need to ditch the abusive knob.

For the future - this is your one life - don't stay in any relationship where you aren't treated with respect and as an equal.

You can do this.

You "won't make it anywhere in life" if you keep being at this loosers beck and call!! It seems like it's time you start prioritising your uni and work and not his jobs!! He can use the Internet to buy trainers and shopping, you are supposed to be his girlfriend..NOT his scivvy!! Good luck with uni

It will change your life for the better if you ditched this abusive, egotistical, manipulative arse and met somebody who adored you and wanted to make you happy. You have had your eyes opened...what is your next move? Remember, it is difficult to leave an abusive, manipulative twat. You will need support. I really hope you find the strength to do this

What an absolute arsehole. He sounds horrific on every level. You need to dump him, block him from your phone and move on. Agree you should be able to access counselling through university. There is a level of abuse present in this relationship which is extremely unhealthy

Are you going to stay with him and continue being his unpaid servant?

You know what to do. Send the text it's over and block him!

Please get angry, stay angry, and dump his lazy, controlling, sexist ass.

Angry is good op. Now swiftly ditch him and get on with your life!

You're so young , you've got lots of great opportunities ahead of you.

Good luck.

What a dick. Being mean to you, ordering you around, moaning, silent treatment, let alone disrespecting your studies and telling you you're useless????

I'm in shock you have to even ask the question but I do know we get into these weird ruts and it all becomes like background noise.

Please tell us you've binned him OP - out there is someone who will think you're incredible, who will be bloody grateful to have someone as nice as you, and will boost you up instead of continually dragging you down.

Get rid.

This is definitely not right, you sound like his unappreciated assistant not a girlfriend.

It’s hard to walk away from a relationship when you’ve been with the person since you were young.

Sounds like you’ve stayed more out of habit than happiness.

Don’t accept this treatment. Unless there are also lots of amazing times together that you haven’t mentioned, it doesn’t sound as if there is anything worth fighting for here.

You're not his GF you're his PA tell him to fuck right off