To think maybe this is not normal

[Poppy298]

Long story short I’ve been noticing things that make me feel my relationship is not right. We have been together a long time but these little things have been getting worse. I don’t know if I’m genuinely to blame or if this isn’t normal.
So for example we don’t live together he asks me to do his food shopping (he works full time and me part time) so I am ok with that but if I can’t do it the day and hour he wants it he goes off on one. Today is another example I said I would drop the food shopping off at his work as he’s finishing earlier but his home and work is 30 min from me and I was going food shopping early so I said I would drop it at his work. He was ok with this. He then asked me to call him a taxi as he is working later now so that he could drop his food at his house and go back to work. I booked one online to be dispatched ASAP and taxis in the area were really busy and it took longer than expected. He then rang me to say it’s all my fault he will be late back to work because I should have waited around to take him back home on his lunch break so he wasn’t relying on taxis. He is now not speaking to me. Another thing is I went to collect him some new release trainers I got to the shop as soon as they opened especially so i got them in time, he then asked me to drive to his work (a further 25 minutes) and drop them off. I said I couldn’t do that and I would drop them off on Sunday (today) which I did. He is now telling me if the size is wrong and it doesn’t fit he wants the money off me for the shoes because all pairs have sold out now and if I’d have dropped them off on the day I bought them it wouldn’t have been a problem. He is so angry when he says all this and insults me at the same time. These are just little examples but they happen every day. I have to apologise all the time but I genuinely don’t think I’ve done wrong?

@Poppy298

So I have sent a text. Probs should have waited until he finished work but at this point I don’t even care. Saying how he treats me is disgusting and he’ll need to find a new slave from now on. Clearly our relationship is based on what he can use me for and I’m just sad I didn’t walk away earlier.

Oh also forgot to mention if I don’t reply to his texts within 10 minutes he rings me and says “clearly busy enjoying yourself” no I just have a life you absolute dick!!

👏👏 today is the first day of your new life ♥️

Who the feck is he? Prince Charles?

You've made the right decision. I know of someone who also got together with someone from a different culture when she was very young and he was a little older. Friends and family tried for years to get here to see what was wrong witu the way he treated her. 15 years later she's finally done it, you did it in 5. Be proud of yourself today. And consider some therapy to work out why you thought you were worthy of being treated like that.

He's disgusting. Well done for finally seeing him for what he is. Don't let him convince you to continue being his doormat. Good luck

Well done OP. Enjoy your freedom and time at Uni, block his phone number (mobile, home and work) and on all social media.

Maybe spend some time single to ponder why you thought his behaviour was in any way acceptable - what was your relationship like with your parents for example. A chat with a therapist might be helpful too.

Well done! Now block him on EVERYTHING as he is going to be desperate to hurt you as punishment.

He’s verbally and emotionally abusing you. Please leave him, and DO NOT move in with him under any circumstances. I’ve been in a similar situation and it doesn’t change, it gets worse. He’s treating you like a slave. I don’t mean this in a patronising way, but you are young, you have your whole life ahead of you and there are much nicer men out there who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

Just read the update, well done! Now block him and get on with your brand new life!

Well done! Now block him.

BTW - if hes following the twat script, he'll either beg you to take him back, and probably ask you to marry him - or scream to anyone who'll listen what a heartless bitch you are. Suicide threats are normal as well from controlling men who are facing their victim saying no. Report to police /his family, dont engage.

I have never come across "chore whore" before! 😳 I think you've been his service human, which is bad enough.

Well done on giving him the push. He won't like it - you've made him too comfortable - but just remember, it takes two people to continue a relationship but only one to end it.

You owe him no explanation and you don't need to convince him or get his permission to end the relationship. It's over when you say it's over, just as he could have said to you at any point.

He is now not speaking to me

Sounds like a result to me. Fuck him right off.

@Poppy298

So I have sent a text. Probs should have waited until he finished work but at this point I don’t even care. Saying how he treats me is disgusting and he’ll need to find a new slave from now on. Clearly our relationship is based on what he can use me for and I’m just sad I didn’t walk away earlier.

Oh also forgot to mention if I don’t reply to his texts within 10 minutes he rings me and says “clearly busy enjoying yourself” no I just have a life you absolute dick!!

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Bloody hell, he sounds vile!!!! He is abusive and manipulative and sees you as a convenience to him when it suits him.
If he's so sure he can get a better woman - let him try! He might have to pay for her PA services though!
You are so, so young to put up with this shit. Run and don't ever look back

Well done @Poppy298 stay strong! He’s a waste of space.

Ah well done @Poppy298 👏🏻 Sometimes you can just become so used to being treated badly you can't see the wood for the trees. Honestly, you'll just be so much happier without him. Don't let him manipulate you into going back to him. You're so young and at such an exciting time in your life.

A friend of mine was in a similar relationship through her years at uni. He made her miserable. She's nearly 40 now and still feels bitter about it - when other people talk about how much fun they had at uni, she only has unhappy memories. Think about all the spare time you're going to have now!

@Poppy298

Yes he has made comments about me being at uni and that I won’t make it anywhere in life. He’s also very angry about his work situation. Apparently any good woman would have helped him to start a successful business so that he didn’t have to be an “employee” and could work for himself. But I didn’t do that, I don’t have a money tree plus his business ideas are shit anyway. Actually the more I think about all this crap I deal with the more angry I’m getting 😂

Good - about fucking time!

Anger is your friend in this situation. Get angry. Get righteously furious about what this utterly useless, abusive cunt is doing to you. Using you, bullying you, undermining you. As someone said upthread, it’s classic coercive control.

Thank god you’re young and not tied to him in any way. Don’t just walk away, run. Work on your self esteem, learn to be happy on your own, and when you’re ready to be in a relationship, set that bar HIGH. You are worthy and deserving of so, so much better than this.

Great stuff. Now block him on everything. Don’t engage any further. He seems nasty so please tell your friends and family that this is now over xxx

Fantastic. Good luck with your degree op and please enjoy your 20s.

Oops, sorry OP - was so bloody angry I didn’t get to the end of the thread and your update.

Brilliant, well done.

As you were

This is my worry, my first year of uni tbh is tainted with unhappiness. Not the fun that everyone else talks about I don’t want to be older and bitter about how much of my life I’ve wasted. I ended it once when I was 19 albeit for a few weeks at most and he told everyone and anyone he could about how bad of a person I was. So I guess I’ll be facing all that again but I shouldn’t stay out of fear of what he’s going to say about me.

@Poppy298 when you’ve got a moment and perhaps start to doubt yourself, have a read up on coercive control. This is a good starting point: www.laurarichards.co.uk/coercive-control/

Run for the hills, this is not normal at all and he sounds vile. You're so young, don't waste any more of your life on him.

Many of us have found ourselves, when young, in 'boiled frog' situations with relationships - where you've gradually been coerced, ground down, etc into an abusive relationship without realising it for a long time.

When you do realise, all you need is the courage to dump the twat. Well done - don't even dream of taking him back.

@Poppy298

This is my worry, my first year of uni tbh is tainted with unhappiness. Not the fun that everyone else talks about I don’t want to be older and bitter about how much of my life I’ve wasted. I ended it once when I was 19 albeit for a few weeks at most and he told everyone and anyone he could about how bad of a person I was. So I guess I’ll be facing all that again but I shouldn’t stay out of fear of what he’s going to say about me.

Definitely not no. In fact that's even more reason to cut him off now. Let him say what he wants - just block him and if anyone tries to tell you why he's been saying, just say you're really not interested in hearing it.

I have now blocked but I read his reply on the Lock Screen it was:
“ the way you treat me is disgusting what do I ask of you that a normal girlfriend wouldn’t do for her partner you’re so deluded I told you a long time ago you are just a silly little girl”

WHAT A TWAT WHAT THE HELL DID I SEE IN THIS MAN yes he is good looking but I mean I wouldn’t necessarily break my neck looking back at him if I walked past him in the street. Christ I feel SO stupid to have let someone make me feel like this is “love”