Help

[buttercup1001]

Hi my partner of 2/3 years put his hands round my throat 3 weeks ago couldn't breathe for about 15 seconds and he let go.ive since had trouble/ pain in my throat and heartburn alot plus I have become forgettable can these symptoms be due to this or would the symptoms have dissapeared by now?

Thank god your son isn't with you. Stunned at this thread, and cannot comprehend how you could lose custody because you choose to be with this thug.

He will kill you one day. I know you think he would never do that, but he would.

Oh and you need medical help because to still be having symptoms this long after strangulation he has clearly done damage that needs medical attention. You've chosen him over your son though so it isn't hugely surprising you'd choose him over yourself too I guess.

Strangulation of a partner means a seven times greater risk of murder of that partner by the person who strangles them.

I hope he never sees your son.

I hope you don't continue to support a man who could leave your son motherless.

Unthinkably selfish.

You report this strangulation attempt.
You will never see your son other than in a contact centre hopefully.

For that reason alone report him.
Save your child at least

All this shit he's put you through, was it worth having your son taken away?

Tbh your son is better off where he is, the fact that you chose an abusive man over him means he's better off with his Dad.

I really want him to change becaise I can see it in him that he can be a decent person Lol!

Even his mum doesn't talk to him she just tells him she's busy and then he comes here and takes it out on me saying why do people treat me like this why am I not allowed a chance everyone never helps him etc.he says he's trying to change but family and support workers fail him he said it's like no one wants to know even when he's trying to change .then I get the hassle of him then him saying that it's unfair he's not allowed a chance to prove he's changed he shows so much passion in his voice that he wants to change and feels everyone doesn't wanna know or help him.

a police officer has advised I have a Claire's law on my partner due to him being high risk so I excepted to have the call out from the police.they did say he had previous of voilence and throat grabbing and it did alarm me and then spoke to my partner and he said his ex partners were mad in the head and that I am diffrent

So you knew all of this at the start of the relationship and you still chose to stay and subject your son to this? Either this is made up and if so, shame on you, or you are seriously mixed up. Your son deserves more than you, I hope he stays with his dad

@buttercup1001

Even his mum doesn't talk to him she just tells him she's busy and then he comes here and takes it out on me saying why do people treat me like this why am I not allowed a chance everyone never helps him etc.he says he's trying to change but family and support workers fail him he said it's like no one wants to know even when he's trying to change .then I get the hassle of him then him saying that it's unfair he's not allowed a chance to prove he's changed he shows so much passion in his voice that he wants to change and feels everyone doesn't wanna know or help him.

Too far OP

@buttercup1001

Even his mum doesn't talk to him she just tells him she's busy and then he comes here and takes it out on me saying why do people treat me like this why am I not allowed a chance everyone never helps him etc.he says he's trying to change but family and support workers fail him he said it's like no one wants to know even when he's trying to change .then I get the hassle of him then him saying that it's unfair he's not allowed a chance to prove he's changed he shows so much passion in his voice that he wants to change and feels everyone doesn't wanna know or help him.

Has he changed though? He STRANGLED you. He has been violent to other women. You don't have your son with you - BECAUSE OF HIM.

He doesn't deserve any decency from you.

@buttercup1001

I know I feel ashamed that I have let my son down I do still see him twice a week since it's been summer holidays .but when he goes bk to school his dad goes to work and he drops him off here I take him to school and pick him up then he says till 5pm when his dad finishes work and I never have my partner here ever.my partner has been here alot since July because of the summer holidays and my son hasn't been here much as his auntie has had him be wise she has kids my son's age to .I think maybe be wise I have been around my partner so long these past 2 months maybe we got on each other nerves I don't know and I am not excusing his actions I couldn't contact the GP regarding my throat as my partner has been with me mostly and staying here I am just worried that yes damaged somethin in my throat I didn't pass out / or go unconciois but it was scary I couldn't talk etc was in pain then he let go was about 15 seconds so I don't know if he could of done damage considering I didn't blackout or go unconciois.

So you could have had your son over the holidays but you chose to send him to his aunties?? That poor, poor child.

So you could have had your son over the holidays but you chose to send him to his aunties?? That poor, poor child.

Just endless rejection in favour of a man his mum chose over him.

Wake up OP, you're shaping that little boys entire future with your actions.

For a man who thinks so little of you that if you don't immediately answer your phone, he thinks you're fucking another man.

You giving up your son for him wasn't enough. You allowing him back after strangling him wasn't enough.

Nothing will ever be enough. He's a bully who picks on women vulnerable enough or selfish enough or both enough to give up their kids for him.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

So you could have had your son over the holidays but you chose to send him to his aunties?? That poor, poor child.

Just endless rejection in favour of a man his mum chose over him.

Wake up OP, you're shaping that little boys entire future with your actions.

For a man who thinks so little of you that if you don't immediately answer your phone, he thinks you're fucking another man.

You giving up your son for him wasn't enough. You allowing him back after strangling him wasn't enough.

Nothing will ever be enough. He's a bully who picks on women vulnerable enough or selfish enough or both enough to give up their kids for him.

After him strangling you that was meant to say, obviously.

My son's dad felt that he should of gone to his aunties and said he would allow me two days with him which is Tuesdays and Thursdays which I have him today that's y I can ask help on here as my heartburn and throat is still not right

You're getting help. You're getting wonderful advice and signposted to the right places.

@buttercup1001 when are you breaking up with this man?

Well on the plus side, at least your son won't be the one to find your body when this man eventually strangles you to death.

@buttercup1001

He is the only man I have ever felt loved by and he constantly says to me please isn't leave me it won't be pretty if you do etc.o don't even know what he means by that .he is telling me that he will kill HImself and that if I leave it will be the end of him.he makes me feel like he loves me but then if he did he wouldn't hurt the person he loves.

He is the only man I have ever felt loved by yet he strangles you then constantly says to you it won't be pretty if you leave him. He doesn't love you. You are there just to be abused, that's all you are to him, someone to listen to his whining and to take his abuse.

Why do you care more about him threatening to kill himself than having to give up your son for him and taking the strangling? I doubt the strangling is the only physical abuse either.

If what you're saying is true he will kill you if you stay with him and he'll kill you if you leave him, if you don't get professional help.

I can ask help on here as my heartburn and throat is still not right

So you need to seek medical attention.

You have an injury that needs treatment if you are having those symptoms two weeks on.

That's the situation. So are you going to seek medical treatment or not?

You could have had some serious internal damage that won't get better the longer you leave it.

Does this man:

Accuse you of cheating when you havent?
Say nobody else will want you?
Say you are mad?
Coerce you into having sex more frequently than you would want?
Punish you with sulking, threats or violence when you don't do what he wants?
Want to know where you are at all times?
Threaten suicide if you even mention leaving?
Threaten violence if you even mention leaving?
Have a series of exes he describes as psycho / mad?
Have a series of disputes with people who have all apparently wronged him and he is the victim?

Yes to all, I would guess. You've said yes to some already.

I would guess most things on that list apply to him don't they? You can be honest, you may as well on an anonymous forum.

I just don't feel right I know this will sound silly but I found a toy on eBay my son wanted and I saved it in my eBay basket until I checked my bank the following day now I went to order it the following day and I had already ordered it it said dispatched and I have a good mempry especially when it comes to things like that and I seen online it can cause memory loss of you've been choked I generally do not recall ordering it at all I know it mite sound stupid but I'm worried it's effected me in some way and scared to tell the Dr but need to also think of my health .

Youvegottenminuteslynn he tells me things like" why would u want to throw away someone as good looking as me " it would be your loss someone else's gain "things like that.

I don't think OP is going to get what she wants to hear.

@buttercup1001

Youvegottenminuteslynn he tells me things like" why would u want to throw away someone as good looking as me " it would be your loss someone else's gain "things like that.

And you think this is acceptable? Come on, have some self respect and get him out of your life, it will not end well for you if you don't. What if next time he strangles you for 30 seconds, a minute? Are you going to wait around for that to happen?

@buttercup1001

Youvegottenminuteslynn he tells me things like" why would u want to throw away someone as good looking as me " it would be your loss someone else's gain "things like that.

I'd reply 'because beauty is only skin deep but ugly souls run through and through'

Is it possible he has access to your online accounts btw? Theres a thing abusers do called gaslighting which involves them trying to make you feel you are going crazy.

Strangling disrupts the oxygen flow to your brain which can cause brain damage. And memory loss can be a sign of brain damage. So yes, you need to see a doctor.