Help

[buttercup1001]

Hi my partner of 2/3 years put his hands round my throat 3 weeks ago couldn't breathe for about 15 seconds and he let go.ive since had trouble/ pain in my throat and heartburn alot plus I have become forgettable can these symptoms be due to this or would the symptoms have dissapeared by now?

Jeez can you really have take him to court he went to prison and you took him back ? Can’t you speak to your domestic violence worker for support

Have the police come to your home right now, you are being very risky with your sons safety. I the police come and take him away he can't hurt your son, he can't hurt you, he can't hurt your cat, and he can't hurt himself. It doesn't matter what shopkeepers think of him!

And you do know don't you that he couldn't possibly have gone to prison for 17 months for smacking a child once? He either beat the shit out of them once or did it more than once. That's a huge sentence (in our woefully inadequate system - obviously it should be more than that for beating a child) that means it was very, very, very serious assault.

Your son will be next if you stay with him.

Youvegottenminuteslynn I have my son 5 days a week now the school term is over so I have him all week in the morning for school and pick up till 5pm til his dad finishes work.but I feel like he's watching skmewje now around the twin centre by my house I feel nervous usy typing on here it's such a strange feeling I just feel so helpless and scared of taken the next step if what he will do to me he could come bk here late at night tonight even once police remove him as injunctiibs etc got to go threw a court case first I think before being put in place

Tell the police you are afraid of him coming back at night! Or go and stay with your mom and take your cat with you. Tell the police he is watching your house. Please tell them, this is their job, they will help you.

And no, they will not release him tonight if you tell them about the assault and the threats, he will go to jail and he will be in jail.

• Call the police explaining the entire situation including his previous
• He will be arrested for the assault especially due to his previous
• As soon as he's taken drop your son off at his dads and explain the situation and that you can't look after him until you're sorted. He would prefer that to any other option at this point.
• Gather vital documents and some clothes
• Then go straight to your mums
• Bring the cat if you can but if you can't, you cannot put the cat before your life and your son's life, as painful as the risk may be that is the reality as it's so serious now

That's what I would do. You cannot possibly do this without the police and you cannot cannot cannot continue to have your son anywhere near you or your home until the police are working with you to keep you safe.

He's escalating, shit talking your son and panicking.

He WILL hurt your son.

Don't let him down again.

OP, you really need to tell the police. They will immediately arrest him.

If you can't tell the police, can you confide in your GP when you're there?

Honestly, this is escalating and is terrifying to see. He will kill you. He will get your son.

If you take the first step OP you will be free of this fear.

Be brave for your son, get the police involved and get him out. He knows something is up and he is going to blow. Get out of the house if he's there as soon as you can do it safely and call the police.

They will take you seriously because and get him out because of his record.

"He's got involved with all my local shops up here trying to play Mr nice he goes on my local bakery and they all say to me what a Lovely guy he is he is misunderstood etc.if only they new."

This is normal. Abusers often have a very respectable public face - it's part of their smokescreen. Ignore that. People are wising up to it. Anyway, it's not your problem to solve.

As PP have said - this thread is terrifying for us just reading it so no wonder you can't think straight. You've had great advice about what to do. You have explained your reluctance about going to the police - which is that you think they look down on you and also that they will release him and you will need to go to court to get an injunction. And you don't want to have to tell your mum that you have been seeing this man. No doubt you don't want your ex to know either as you may lose access to your son altogether. But things have got beyond that. You do not want to pay with your life and, God forbid, your son's life over this. Far better to have to disappoint your mum and temporarily lose access to your son than for you and your son to be injured or murdered .

Firstly, the police's main desire will be to protect you and your son from this criminal. It really doesn't matter what they think of you (you may be wrong about that in any case - your relationship with this man has screwed up your perceptions so you're not seeing things straight). The police can come and take him away and they can keep him away. They can keep him in custody. If they release him on bail (which seems unlikely), they can impose bail conditions. They can also obtain a domestic violence protection order which will give you 28 days protection. Tell the police everything he has said and done. This is an opportunity for them to prevent a very serious crime taking place. They will want to take that opportunity.

Secondly, you might want to avoid the drama of him being arrested but that is better than the drama of the police being called to your place because he has injured or, worse, killed you and your son. He will have a longer prison sentence if he does those things. Also, if he harms your son, you may find yourself facing criminal charges and a prison sentence for failing to protect your son.

As PP have suggested:

• when your ex picks up your son, tell him that you need him to keep your son while you sort out the situation which has arisen;
• call the police from a safe place (e.g. in the shops near you);
• after the police have arrested him, take your cat, your important documents and go to your mum's.

I've gone on for paragraphs but really it's what @wewereliars said.

"If you take the first step OP you will be free of this fear.

Be brave for your son, get the police involved and get him out. He knows something is up and he is going to blow. Get out of the house if he's there as soon as you can do it safely and call the police.

They will take you seriously because and get him out because of his record."

Your son has told his teachers about your partner, you said. You must realise that it's only a matter of time before other services are involved, rightfully so. You should act first and get this guy out of your life to show that you are protecting your child

How has your son told his his teachers about him if you have made sure they've never met?!

You are just outright lying now! Still haven't made a GP appointment and now you've got a sick cat.

I hope someone somewhere picks up what's going on from your son and removes him from this horrific situation, he isn't safe.

If this is real,

(If)

Everyone is wasting their time.

Don't expend energy you need for your own lives, people. We all have our own serious shit going on. We can't help a stranger who will not help themselves. Keep in mind this was started almost a week ago now.

Toinght has been even worse he said y am I mesig with his head because I shaved I said I wasn't I mite need the drs tomorrow he then said if u push me I will hurt u or myself then u can tell my kids why there father is dead .he said u owe me a apology I'm always apologising.he said I'm in the wrong for playing games with a man who suffers with PTSD I have never stressed him out I come up from a bath and he said u have shaved for your new man have u.telling me that I'm to blame if he kills himself and that I will have the burden of telling his kids y there father's dead.

Tomorrow I have to get out thats if he doesn't kick off toinght I have to do it tomorrow I feel sick and scared in my own home when I should feel content and safe in my home.tomorrow is the day.

It's not rocket science then is it ?
Instead of posting here - call 999

you are scared in your own home. Call 999 now

He's gone in the shower now hes threatning me with I should be more understanding and I'm out of order with his feelings I havent done anything other than have a bath and shaved a bit now im left here wondering when he's gonna get in his voilent mode.im in bed my belly is doing summersaults I got s nervous queasiness feeling and I'm stuck in bed and have to keep way Ng sorry because he's saying u isn't relsie what your doing do u and in saying sorry to keep him calm when I haven't got anything to apologise for.i am getting wierd pains in my neck my belly hasn't been the same since I'm getting sickness tomorrow has to be the day I do something I can't live like this feleijng on fear and unwell and unsafe.im hoping it isn't one of them nights I really do.

I can't call 999 he will kick off he will know he's terrifying I can't explain it but soon as he flips it's awful he will grab the phone off me and that's the end he will bribe me when police come that if I answer door he will get at me before I even get to the door

I feel sick typing now I have to rush he's in the shower I feel sick to my belly tomorrow I am going to get help no excuses.

Oh ffs listen to yourself
Get out the bloody house and call 999
Wait for them outside

He will bribe me that I tell them everything is fine and it's false alarm etc he won't let me open door .I gotta get threw this night somehow.till tomorrow

Absolute bull crap
You've the perfect chance to get help
I wonder why you don't take it ?

I can't get out of the house givingfuckdaily he keeps my keys on him so my door is locked this is what I mean he has all my keys etc he knoes I've called police before on him well he's been out the room he's now extra careful that I don't call them again