Husband's mistress has dumped him and now I want him back!

[WhereTheFuck]

Argh I am in such a shitty situation. at the beginning of May my husband left me for a woman he had been having an affair with since before Christmas. We have a DD who was barely 18 months when he left. Since then I have done really well, haven't missed a day of work, been strong for DD and H and I were actually doing an ok job of co-parenting. I even met someone else on tinder in July and we have met a few times and had some great sex It was starting to get easier and easier.

Today I have found out that my husband's OW has just dumped him and said she thinks they would be better as friends... and to be honest it has sent me right back to square one. I just feel like this whole situation is a terrible waste, especially for our little DD, and all I want to do is ask my husband to come back and give it another go.

Argh!! Please talk some sense into me

[OnceTheyDid]

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

Don't be a fool.

[TheWoleb]

You really want to be with someone who is only with you and his child because the woman he really wanted, and gave you all up for, has chucked him?

He doesn't want you. He wants her. He'll only be coming back because it is convenient for him. And when he meets another women who shows interest, he'll be in bed with her.

You'd be just a place holder. Is that actually what you want for your life?

You were strong. You didnt do the pick me dance when he left. Dont beg him to come back now.

[Polly271220]

Karma!...fuck him off

[Anystarinthesky]

Please don't, I did this and he then cheated with someone else.

You don't want to go through all the heartbreak twice, he isn't worth it.

[OatyBarKid]

So you take him back, play happy families for a while, then he does it again. But this time your dd is older, understands more and you have to watch her emotional fall out at her father walking away from her.

Don't do it, he won't change, it won't make your life better and it will definitely make it so much harder in the future for both you and your child.

[Hidehi4]

No don’t put yourself through it you will always be his second choice and he will keep doing it because he can. Stay strong

[Tealwarrior]

Don’t do it OP, you’re not thinking straight and you’ve come too far to take this step backwards. In fact I would say the life you made for yourself whilst on your own shows that your separation was the best thing for you!!!!

[MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously]

Don't do it. Let your daughter see that you are setting good standards for what is acceptable in a relationship. She learns from you - you don't want her growing up to think women have to put up with cheating men!

[MojoJojo71]

Fuck that for a game of soldiers!

Just think what you would tell your daughter if she were in this situation. He doesn’t deserve you!

[Hoppinggreen]

And if she changes her mind?

[hellcatspangle]

Do not do it. He's proved what kind of man he is (and I'm not one who yells LTB every five minutes) he will do it again and you'll be back to square one, losing the progress you've made.

[IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves]

Even if you asked him and he said yes, would you really feel loved by someone who walked out on you to be with someone else and is only back with you because his first choice rejected him?

Maybe it wasn't so exciting for her when he was actually available.

Which leads to the next possibility.

That if you're fool enough to take him back, he will become an attractive prospect again.

Would you trust him? Every time he went out, or got a text, can you honestly say you wouldn't wonder if he was betraying you again?

Why do you want to be with someone who tossed you aside like you were nothing?

[bluebeck]

Love - where's your self esteem?

Take him back and he will destroy you

You have come so far, don't give him back the power over you he once had, and abused. You want the OW cast off? No you do not!

[lannistunut]

I think he will probably just find another mistress and you'll end up back in second place.

You and your DD can do a lot better than this IMO. Teach your DD self-respect by modelling it. Good luck

[TeeBee]

You'll spend your life looking over your shoulder. It won't be the happy ending you were hoping for. Let it go.

[aaaaah]

It won't work if you take him back. He'll just stray again or you'll be forever wondering why you agreed to be second choice.

[Maassi]

Do it. Let your daughter grow up seeing that's the model of womanhood she should aspire to.

Get a grip - keep him fucked off!

[Viviennemary]

No way ask him back. If he grovels then I might if it suited me.

[thebeatingofthedrums]

Well, yes, it has been a terrible waste.

This dreadful man has wasted the relationship you offered him, and the opportunity to live as a family with you. And it really wasn't worth it for him in the long run.

However, just because it's been a waste, it doesn't mean there's a reset button. You deserve more, and your DD deserves to see a strong role model of a mum who won't let herself be treated like crap by any man. Stay strong for her.

[SunbathingDragon]

Do you really want back someone who has cheated on you and lied to you? And for him to then remain friends with the OW who presumably he chose over you, so would rather be with????

[Chloemol]

Don’t. He has done it once he will do it again, don’t get caught up in this circle

He has made it clear you are not a priority/ he doesn’t love you by going off in the first place

You are moving on, continue to do so without him

[Oncemoreuntothebreachagain]

I think you actually want to go back in time to before he shat on your relationship and for him to not have done it at all. I bet that, been there. BUT that’s not one of your options.
You can either take back a cheating bastard who WILL do it again at the drop of a hat or keep on building the great life you have started having.

[Chocaholic9]

Don't go there, OP. You deserve better!

[heyday]

No, no, no a million times NO.....he screwed you over big time. Even if you did get back together, no doubt he'd keep her on as a friend, you'd always be wondering if he was sleeping with her..or someone else for that matter. Be the best parents you can possibly be for your young child but never, ever let him share your bed again....he is a scumball as a partner and you deserve better.

[cookingisoverrated]

It would likely be temporary, OP ... until he found another woman to mess around with without any home responsibilities.

You deserve better. Your DD deserves better. keep him at arm's length.