Guy I met at a meetup group will not stop texting

[Crumpets123]

I'm feeling very weirded out and don't know how to handle this without making things awkward.

Recently gone through a breakup just a few weeks ago. Joined my local meetup group to get me out the house and make new friends.

Had a great time at the first event I went to last week. Had some lovely conversations and was a good night despite my initial nerves and reservations!

Was chatting to a group of people including this guy, the others kind of separated off and we continued talking. Wasn't flirty at all from either side (not that I picked up on anyway). He asked me why I joined the group and I talked about my break up etc

There is a group WhatsApp for the group and since I joined that, the guy has been messaging me EVERY day. Lots of wink faces and tongue faces and being very flirtatious. Last night he asked me out for a coffee. I said no and explained that I'm going through a break up, I still love my ex, I don't want to give him the wrong impression, i am only looking for friends, and I don't feel comfortable meeting him 1:1.

He said he completely understood. Today he has messaged me several times asking how I am, sending a photo of his dog etc. I haven't replied.

What do i do? I just want him to stop messaging me!! I feel like it is weird how much he is messaging me when i have met him once and had one conversation and I've told him I'm not interested!!

I really enjoyed the meetup group and i want to continue to go to it, but i feel so awkward now and feel like this guy pestering me has ruined it. I don't want him to be stuck to me at every event and me not be able to get away? I dont know what to say without just being a bitch and making things awkward. But i want him to leave me alone

Asking someone to respect your boundaries is not being a bitch. That's female socialisation at work!
Tell him that you don't want him to message you again then block him.

Mute or block

Block him and avoid him in future

@IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves

Asking someone to respect your boundaries is not being a bitch. That's female socialisation at work! Tell him that you don't want him to message you again then block him.

This or just don't reply to his messages anymore

He is not concerned about things being awkward, so why should you be? Tell him to back off. Can you block him without blocking the whole group?
And next time you go to the meet up group, make sure that you are not alone with him.

Block him. You can still go to the meetups, you just need to put boundaries in place, ie blocking a man who is being repeatedly inappropriate.

Just ignore him. Put his messages on mute. If you see him face to face again and he says anything, restate what you said in your messages.

i am here to meet some new friends, ive already told you that, please respect my feelings, i find your messages abit too much.

Then walk away and start chatting to someone else, be civil but no not engage further.

"Mate. Not interested."

You've already told him politely you're not interested. He's chosen to ignore that. So now you be blunt. And if he continues after that, then you be downright rude. (I'd go with "Stop embarrassing yourself, you entitled prick.")

Haha he just messaged me to say that he feels I am being off with him and he is only trying to be kind!

Omg!! We dont even know eachother, we met once!!!! This is so weird!

Message him

Hi, I thought I was really clear before. Stop messaging me, Im not interested in being friends with you and you've made this situation awkward. At events don't chat with me. Hope this is now clear

Just don’t reply

Please stop messaging me. I will not reply to any more.

oh and. being kind means
he thinks he's in with a chance

Hi , I really don't want 1:1 communication with anyone from the meet up group. Nothing personal. Thank you for your understanding.

You have been trained by the patriarchy to confuse “setting healthy boundaries” with “being a bitch.”

If the roles were reversed here do you think he’d give it a second thought before blocking you? He wouldn’t even bother to tell you to back off because you’d already have been written off as a psycho.

I wouldn’t even bother engaging - he’s thick skinned enough (or just thick) to interpret that as encouragement.

Just block him & carry on with the group as if he’d never messaged you in the first place. Never message or respond to him again. If he asks you why just say “don’t know what you’re talking about” and move on.

Just say “Sorry, I’m not interested in messaging one-on-one”.

He is purposely missing your hints, don’t let him.
Tbh you shouldn’t even have to say sorry, but it might lessen the hissy fit he throws.
Block him if he doesn’t get it after that. Maybe block him anyway.

What a creep! You’ve been clear and he’s ignored you! Block him but don’t let him put you off attending the group. Maybe message in the main group chat that you don’t want individual conversations? Is there an organiser type person you can flag this up to?

Because you told him you only want to be friends, maybe he's treating you as a friend? Maybe he literally does this with all friends?
Just tell him you don't want to carry on communicating with him.

I'd simply not reply. You can be one of those people that rarely checks messages.

I had this with a male acquaintance a while back, the stupid wink, tongue out faces annoy me from a grown adult man. I tried to be subtly polite which wasn't getting through, now I just delete his messages without reading them. I don't like blocking people but sometimes it's a useful tool.

Ignore him. No replies at all, ever, is my advice. He's making it awkward - not you. Don't let it put you off the meetup group as I think it sounds like a great idea and well done for doing something so positive for yourself.

when messaging to tell someone to stop bothering you, you do not have to say please and thank you. Communicate that he needs to stop what he is doing but placing please and thanks make it sound as if you're putting in a request he can then ignore

Oh love. Be the bitch! He isn't respecting your boundaries at all, he wants to be "the nice guy" but anyone can pick up signals when advances are not wanted. Just block him if you are not comfortable in saying anything to him.

Be straight with him.
I have met you once and been very clear I am not interested. Do not continue to message me.

It is always better to send a very clear message once before blocking in case he escalates. You can prove he was told in no uncertain terms to fuck off. Mostly you'll never need it but it's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. It speeds things up if you need to take it further.

Contact the group organizers, meetup isn't a hook up group it's for people of common interests.
One group l belonged to the organizer had to send out an email reminding members of this.