Husband unreasonably refuses to have another child

[TeeTen]

I currently have young daughter with my husband. I have wanted another child for quite some time now and he point blank refuses to have another child due to things which happened in the past in the marriage. To be quite honest the reasons he gives me for not wanting to have another child is because he ended up having to go to court and was reported by my family members and I had to give evidence against him. The marriage has consisted of a lot of ups and downs and this guy accepts zero responsibility for the things he has done but is basically punishing me as he had to face the consequences of his wrong doings as nothing is his fault. EVER. He is always the victim according to him and I don’t “deserve” any more children.

I can hear you all now asking why do I even want another child with this kind of person etc and I have thought about it all and long story short I really want to be a mother again and it upsets me that I cannot give my child a sibling and cannot expand my family simply because he refuses me. I’m being robbed of the chance of being a mother because that’s my punishment for daring to speak up against his wrong doings.

I’m in a difficult situation, I long to be a mother again and would absolutely love to have another child and my daughter would be really happy to have a sibling. But I cannot because he holds it over me as punishment and expects me to be happy and get on with life knowing how much I want it and can’t have it because that’s his decision.

The relationship doesnt sound great. Im on his side tbh.

What we're the reasons you went to court?

How old are you?

So he takes the responsibility for contraception does he? To stop you from becoming pregnant?

What did he have to go to court for?

There are other men in the world.

Leave him and have a child with a good man. Sounds like you’re trying to bring another innocent child into an abusive relationship. Your post is all about what you want.

I think any unborn child doesn't deserve to have this as their life

You want to be a mother but what about the child? Is it fair for you to being a new baby in to all of this?

You would be very, very, very misguided to have more children in this situation. Putting it mildly.

To be quite honest the reasons he gives me for not wanting to have another child is because he ended up having to go to court and was reported by my family members and I had to give evidence against him

Er, this does not sound like you should be having any more children together!

There is no unreasonable reason to not want another child. There doesn't even need to be a reason.

At the end of the day, you either stay with him and accept this is your life, or leave him and perhaps find someone else you can have more children with. That's the two options.

No no no. No more children into this set up. It sounds horrific. Do you actually like each other?!

This relationship sounds terrible: go and have a child with a man who doesn’t resent you on a daily basis.

It's always the person who doesn't want another who wins. And that was my DH so I know.

If you want another leave. You probably should anyway as he doesn't sound like a prize.

I don't believe bringing another child in to this situation is wise.

Without knowing what you went to court for I can't fully judge but the fact you gave evidence against him, I'm surprised you are even still together to be honest.

There are no unreasonable reasons to have a child - anyone is justified in saying they want no more kids.

To be honest, the relationship you're describing isn't a happy one, it would be very unfair to bring a new baby in to that regardless of why you want one.

Your best option would be to leave and find someone who makes you happy and would like to have a baby

*to not have a child

You are the unreasonable one here for even considering having a child with this man .... why are you so 'desperate' to have another child?

Your husband is perfectly entitled to refuse to have another child for whatever reason he sees fit.

You are perfectly entitled to see his refusal as a deal-breaker and end the marriage, so it sounds like to have a big decision to make.

Good luck.

Children aren't things to selfishly have just because you want them with zero regard for the environment they'd be born into.

So you want to be with a man you gave evidence against, and worse still, have another child with him?

I'd argue social services need to get involved here.

No way should either of you be contemplating bringing another child into his situation.

I think your husband is completely right to not have another child. This relationship doesn't sound healthy in any way.

Well that sounds like an extremely toxic setup from both yours and your DH point of view, and he is absolutely right not to want to bring another child into this family.

Surely a half-sibling for your child with a man who isn't an arsehole would be a better plan?

So you want him to be a sperm donor? And then pay maintenance for a child he doesn't want? Leave the marriage, find someone you want to bring up a child with who wants to have a family with you