Husband unreasonably refuses to have another child

[TeeTen]

I currently have young daughter with my husband. I have wanted another child for quite some time now and he point blank refuses to have another child due to things which happened in the past in the marriage. To be quite honest the reasons he gives me for not wanting to have another child is because he ended up having to go to court and was reported by my family members and I had to give evidence against him. The marriage has consisted of a lot of ups and downs and this guy accepts zero responsibility for the things he has done but is basically punishing me as he had to face the consequences of his wrong doings as nothing is his fault. EVER. He is always the victim according to him and I don’t “deserve” any more children.

I can hear you all now asking why do I even want another child with this kind of person etc and I have thought about it all and long story short I really want to be a mother again and it upsets me that I cannot give my child a sibling and cannot expand my family simply because he refuses me. I’m being robbed of the chance of being a mother because that’s my punishment for daring to speak up against his wrong doings.

I’m in a difficult situation, I long to be a mother again and would absolutely love to have another child and my daughter would be really happy to have a sibling. But I cannot because he holds it over me as punishment and expects me to be happy and get on with life knowing how much I want it and can’t have it because that’s his decision.

Don't have another baby with a domestic abuser FFS

I’m sorry, I’m not one to tell people what to do but this sounds like a terrible idea OP. 💗

Why are you still with him ?

he ended up having to go to court and was reported by my family members and I had to give evidence against him domestic violence?

I can hear you all now asking why do I even want another child with this kind of person etc nope, more why do you want to be married to him

I cannot give my child a sibling and cannot expand my family simply because he refuses me plenty of other sperm out there. Set yourself free and find someone better

I’m being robbed of the chance of being a mother because that’s my punishment for daring to speak up against his wrong doings you are a mother already. For many reasons you might not have a 2nd child but please don't declare you're being robbed of motherhood when you have a child.

Thank you for not being so judgmental

Your marriage is sounding a wee bit fucked up from your description so far, not usually the best circumstances to bring another baby into the world.

Why did your family members report him? What were his 'wrong doings'?

If you do get pregnant, you will probably have Social Services interest.

You want to bring an innocent child into this toxicity? I'm with your husband on this. Enjoy the child you have.

This is a very messed up situation. Please don’t bring another child into it.

Is this you? HELP, missed 4 pills! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/family_planning/4273327-HELP-missed-4-pills

What was he reported by your family for?
Domestic violence towards you? (which is horrific enough).
God forbid it was anything involving your child.

Whatever the reason, you would be incredibly irresponsible to have a child in such strained circumstances. Just think of the environment that child would be brought up in.

Ditch the criminal loser and try to meet someone else. But work on raising your standards first, they’re dangerously low right now.

This entire situation is madness and you are simply not being sensible, about anything. You should be asking for solicitor recommendations, instead you want another baby with this lowlife. Complete madness.

I also think your husband is right. This is not a situation to bring another child into. And anyway, you are being extraordinarily unreasonable yourself to call someone else unreasonable for deciding not to have another child. That is absolutely his right, at any time, for any reason

Nope.

I'm not sure why you're still married to him?

His decision not to bring another child into the marriage actually doesn't seem that unreasonable TBH. What were the issues? If it was anything along the lines of abuse and/or violence then it's actually a really good choice.

I'm sure there's a better happier relationship out there for you.

Please don't have another child with this man.

Why is having a baby more important than the situation you’re bringing that baby into?

@teeten why aren't you trying to leave him?

@YouJustDoYou

Children aren't things to selfishly have just because you want them with zero regard for the environment they'd be born into.

This!

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

The relationship doesnt sound great. Im on his side tbh.

why are you on his side? He sounds vile

How do you know we aren’t on the other side and have worked through all that? How do you know my situation isn’t good now and my child that I do have is safe and well? The incident took place years ago and is not a reflection of the current situation. Thanks.

He sounds horrible. And no way does this sound like a good situation to bring any child into.

Leave him and find a better man, but first of all have a good think.

@TeeTen

How do you know we aren’t on the other side and have worked through all that? How do you know my situation isn’t good now and my child that I do have is safe and well? The incident took place years ago and is not a reflection of the current situation. Thanks.

Because his language is still punitive - you said he said you don’t ‘deserve’ a child?

Not fair on a child to be born into such a toxic environment