Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021

[BelladiMamma]

I've put a screenshot of the RULES here

Dear newbies and oldies they're excellent words of wisdom and deserve to be read frequently

Here's to all of us navigating the sea of twats, the tsunami of penpals and the ever receding tide of ghosters

Let's kick them into touch and have a summer of love ❤️

Clocking in!

Thanks for the new thread @BelladiMamma

Yaaay bring on the love 😁❤️❤️

You're welcome!

And today starts with another 'good morning beautiful' message from MrLawyer 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've sent him a polite but clear message that I don't want to be a penpal

I ended up blocking MrTrades a week ago as he was so flaky on the meets yet still seemed keen to continue sending inane texts. Fuck off you irritant.. lol

Isitreally im so glad you're over the CG saga. It was horrible seeing you so upset yet so stuck in it.

Checking in... from bed, next to Mr HT who's on a work call.
He's still an idiot, but he's the idiot I like

This is nothing to do with dating and all to do with how sad I am.. but even Love Island is depressing me now seeing how all loved up they are now, and makes me feel even sadder inside about not having anyone 😢 sniffle.

Checking in and thanks for the new thread. Hoping this is a new opportunity for me to log in much more regularly as I absolutely got lost with the breakneck speed of the latter half of the last thread! There are lots of veeery active irons out there for you all, it seems. Good luck for those of you doing datey things tonight and the weekend ahead.

Ahhh that’s really sweet @cravingthelook 💗 glad for you! 💘💘

@Isitreallyme77 meeting him must have given you some closure though?

I've unblocked Beardflake again and I can see he's on line. Chatting to someone new probably 😞

@BelladiMamma

You're welcome!

And today starts with another 'good morning beautiful' message from MrLawyer 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've sent him a polite but clear message that I don't want to be a penpal

Wish I had that. Not a peep since I ignored Mr Penpal on Sunday.

I wonder if they just like the attention and flattery

Checking in. Thanks for the new thread Bella.

I may have a date zero today - very local, we're both off work this week. Barely had time to chat which is just the way I like it. I suggested a coffee, he said great, what time and where. So now I'm all indecisive and can't decide where and when...

But they’re laying it on thick for the chance of £50k @Shayelle2009 …

On penpals as @BelladiMamma was asking, I don’t think it’s just guys. I’ve experienced it the other way round too. In one case the woman had a disorder that left her worried about her appearance but her photos were all good and she wasn’t conscious of going into work. She put me off a couple of times before eventually confessing her issues, but we never did get to meet. We even went to a lot of the same places at roughly the same time (apparently).

In general I think it’s just another form of benching, it just doesn’t come with breadcrumbs.

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Checking in. Thanks for the new thread Bella.

I may have a date zero today - very local, we're both off work this week. Barely had time to chat which is just the way I like it. I suggested a coffee, he said great, what time and where. So now I'm all indecisive and can't decide where and when...

Somewhere that isn't too noisy and that's got an obvious 'cut off' point if you don't feel like hanging. Nothing worse than trying to get away from a date and they're all 'let me walk to Aldi with you'

@HairyArsedMan

What is benching?

"Let me walk to Aldi with you"😅

I've suggested meeting at a local landmark, this will involve a walk on the beach and places that sell coffee.

Already worrying about how to end it now! And from my sleuthing I have a sneaky suspicion that he lives almost round the corner from me. So walking home after the meet could be extremely awkward.

I'll have to invent an errand... and say 'I suggested this because I have to go and do this thing anyway in town'. There is nothing I have to do in town... Maybe I have to go to the bank! Or to get a tattoo!

@HairyArsedMan

But they’re laying it on thick for the chance of £50k *@Shayelle2009* …

On penpals as @BelladiMamma was asking, I don’t think it’s just guys. I’ve experienced it the other way round too. In one case the woman had a disorder that left her worried about her appearance but her photos were all good and she wasn’t conscious of going into work. She put me off a couple of times before eventually confessing her issues, but we never did get to meet. We even went to a lot of the same places at roughly the same time (apparently).

In general I think it’s just another form of benching, it just doesn’t come with breadcrumbs.

Thanks @HairyArsedMan

I think it's often linked to self esteem / confidence / maybe other MH issues.

This is my third penpal and the other two were alcoholics, which I didn't realise until they were until well into our correspondence. I'm guessing people who are avoiding meeting up are avoiding facing some of their issues?

Checking in. Thanks Bella.

@Shayelle2009 thank you, my head is so much clearer these days and I worry less. Last night I went to bed instead of worrying whether Mr Cricket had read my message,he still hasn't but he is (hopefully) doing his exams/training.

@BelladiMamma meeting him did put some doubts to rest, like was he actually who he said. Part of me still regrets that it didn't/couldn't go any further but I don't regret meeting him or chatting to him. I wish him no malice and hope that he is in a better place and is happy (I do have my doubts especially if he has gone back to her).

@Shayelle2009

This is nothing to do with dating and all to do with how sad I am.. but even Love Island is depressing me now seeing how all loved up they are now, and makes me feel even sadder inside about not having anyone 😢 sniffle.

What @HairyArsedMan said. Even more artificial than a hopeful cocklodger x

@WeWantTheFinestWines

"Let me walk to Aldi with you"😅

I've suggested meeting at a local landmark, this will involve a walk on the beach and places that sell coffee.

Already worrying about how to end it now! And from my sleuthing I have a sneaky suspicion that he lives almost round the corner from me. So walking home after the meet could be extremely awkward.

I'll have to invent an errand... and say 'I suggested this because I have to go and do this thing anyway in town'. There is nothing I have to do in town... Maybe I have to go to the bank! Or to get a tattoo!

Definitely invent an errand x

(You can also ignore that errand if you're having a lovely time)

@Isitreallyme177

Checking in. Thanks Bella.

@Shayelle2009 thank you, my head is so much clearer these days and I worry less. Last night I went to bed instead of worrying whether Mr Cricket had read my message,he still hasn't but he is (hopefully) doing his exams/training.

@BelladiMamma meeting him did put some doubts to rest, like was he actually who he said. Part of me still regrets that it didn't/couldn't go any further but I don't regret meeting him or chatting to him. I wish him no malice and hope that he is in a better place and is happy (I do have my doubts especially if he has gone back to her).

That's very kind of you about CG. It's so hard not to get bitter x

[quote ActonSquirrel]@HairyArsedMan

What is benching?[/quote]
When someone likes you enough to feed you breadcrumbs i.e. offer you mild encouragement, occasional contact but is more focused on another though they lack the certainty with that other, so ‘need’ options to fall back on. It’s a widely deployed time wasting exercise which is meant somehow to prevent you from heartache when the one you do want has in fact benched you.

I have cancelled my date 0 for tomorrow bad he updated his hinge to smoking and weed use. I explained why and he didn't like it. I just un-matched him on there as we hadn't exchanged numbers.
I have sent my number to a match on Bumble, we have been talking since Monday. If he messages me then I will ask if he wants to go for a drink if he doesn't then it's best to know now that he won't meet.

My date tonight is still on and I just need to get through work first.

Checking in guys 🙂

My penpal also started online too early after his last relationship I think.

Men who are getting divorced, not been single more than a day etc = avoid.