Dating thread 209: Summer of Love 2021

[BelladiMamma]

I've put a screenshot of the RULES here

Dear newbies and oldies they're excellent words of wisdom and deserve to be read frequently

Here's to all of us navigating the sea of twats, the tsunami of penpals and the ever receding tide of ghosters

Let's kick them into touch and have a summer of love ❤️

So an old iron reappeared this morning. We were speaking a few weeks ago and it just kind of faded because I suggested meeting and he was busy with work so I said let me know and it just petered out after that.

But he saw me online this morning and messaged, we messaged back and forth all morning then he called and we chatted for an hour. He mentioned meeting but never suggested a date or time so I'm leaving it until he does .... because it's all bull until it happens 🤷🏻‍♀️

Checking in thanks @BelladiMamma

I’ve always been very anti pen pal - ie start thinking about the meet within a week or so.

But actually now, maybe I’ll do more thorough screening, phone calls and even a video chat before meeting as I want to focus on more substantial connections rather than “dates” for the sake of it.

Text can be so deceptive so maybe phone calls instead.

@BelladiMamma thank you for the new thread! Bullet dodged about that guy who you found out stuff about online 😯

@WeWantTheFinestWines I had to bloody laugh about him not even knowing your name!!! And the image of you dodging traffic to escape!

I internet stalked Mr Italy and found out I got the country origin of his name totally wrong. Think totally other side of Europe 😂 oh well. I found out where he lives and also his mum and dad's address 😁. Also came across a couple of pics of him and he's bloody gorgeous and I'm so excited about meeting him tomorrow. But don't want to get too invested obv. Trying to keep messaging others.

@Shayelle2009 and @BelladiMamma please don't take my update as a positive thing.

As much as I enjoy Mr HTs visits immensely I know for my own sake I need to stop them.

He's my friend, he checks in on important stuff unprompted (e.g. I started a new job on Monday and he messaged that morning and evening) his friendship is important to me. That I never want to end.

He doesn't want to date me (or anyone he says) so we don't go out, but essentially he's getting the full girlfriend experience approximately once a month or so without him giving me the boyfriend experience.
He comes over and we watch a movie while he snuggles up and strokes me/my hair. A gin or two. Then we have mind blowing sex once or twice. Then we sleep cuddled up and do nice pillow talk. Then I'm the morning, it's more affectionate strokes and cuddles and sex. Then he has a shower and I make coffee and a bacon roll. A few kisses and he's off to work. (If a weekend he will hang around longer, maybe more sex). We touch each other the whole time he's here. He's kind and affectionate and respectful when it comes to sex.

I keep it going because I can't find someone I want more (and yes he knows I'm looking and encourages it as he says I deserve more) so it feels like I can have a lovely time sometimes or cut my nose off to spite my face and get rid.

But deep down I know it cannot continue and I need to ensure I'm busy every time we chat. Just stop him coming round on those terms. Today I feel strong enough to make that step, in 3 weeks time when I'm missing him ... I'm not so sure.

*new pics. I obviously knew what he looked like already!

Can I ask for some advice, wise people?
Mr Sport - two years ago we had a couple of dates. Got on really well. It was like meeting up with an old friend. But there was something missing. I thought it, he said it when I asked about meeting a third time.

Three weeks ago he got back in touch. Two years ago, he'd wanted to try something but wasn't sure. It happened to be something I know a lot about.
When he got back in touch it was to tell me that he'd finally been able to try it and wanted to thank me for my help and encouragement.

He tracked me down through my business, so he went to a fair amount of trouble to find me. We chatted a bit about what he'd done and he had some more questions. But I thought that would be it.

But he carried on messaging. Not a lot. Just the odd question followed by some general chat.
So I decided to ask if he wants to meet for a coffee. He said yes but he'd let me know when he'd sorted his plans for next week.

That was two days ago and I haven't heard from him since. So now I'm thinking he's done a runner and wasn't really interested in meeting again.

Any thoughts?

Haha thanks @HairyArsedMan I guess yes that’s true, motivated by the 50k. Though a few of the couples have gone on to get married, have children etc. I like Love Island as it’s escapism for me, reminds me of being young and having a great time 🙂
Think you had a lucky escape Hairy with the woman who had big issues with her appearance!

@Dee03 MrTrain sounds beyond basic! No personality to be found there, it seems??

@Dancerinthemoonlight good luck with your date zero who’s made the effort with the booking 👍 hope you have a lovely evening 🍹

See if mr lawyer sorts out a meet then @BelladiMamma, it seemed sweet if him to bring you things to the hospital.

That must be soooo hard @cravingthelook that you like him so much but hes not giving enough 😔 Think that would drive me insane 😢 x

Sorry it was a crap date @WeWantTheFinestWines. At least you tried though, it’s a shame ge was like that.

@bangheadhere40 WHY do men do that- profile pic with middle finger up, sign of a true degenerate…

@EchoElephant

Guess there’s not a lot you can do apart from wait it out?

I’d be a bit wary/mindful I was being used as a text distraction so not overinvest - he knows you want to meet? Are you happy being completely platonic mates?

Haha I’ve never used the word degenerate except on dating apps

Thank you for the new thread Belladimamma
@EchoElephant, from what you have shared about the situation with Mr Sport it doesn’t exactly sound like his main motivation was to pick up where you left off. I agree with Bunk probably not much else you can do but see what he does next.

Well those are just lovely! @SpringlikeBunk can I also add the pic of a guy with a fag/spliff hanging out his mouth? So deeply unattractive 🤢

I'm at work at the moment so just checking in 😁

Opened PoF on my break to these two charming messages. In the SoT they shall remain 🙄

Checking in - this thread moves so fast!

What is SOT @troobleflooble? Seen it mentioned twice now.

My MrBE has just rung me. Wish he'd just msg me as I hate phone calls!
He's picking me up Sunday eve. Probably go back to his boat, again. He has 2 weeks off end of the month. If he doesn't suggest going out properly then I'm going to have to have a conversation.

I know @Walkingalot, I have trouble keeping up hence why I can't respond properly at work lol I need time to catch up! 😂

The SoT is the Sea of Twats 😁

Good luck with Mr BE, hopefully he suggests something good 😊

Need to have a good read but quick update from me!

Well i cannot believe it but i PASSSED the truck test! i am over the moon and cannot wait to get the champagne opened tonight! Such a nice way to end the week. I was so frazzeled that when i went to pay at the counter before the test began i forgot my pin and blocked my card so the instructor had to come and pay for me! (ooops, how can you forget a pin number you use almost every day)

Little Elf update and our splendid ability to keep in touch. He headed off when i did from my place, my test was twelve-ish today so by 2:30ish i'd txt to let him know i was done. No answer to my text so rang him. He'd been asleep (seems men in their 40's need rather a lot of sleep) anyway, i told him to come whenever he was ready and said i was taking the dog for a walk with my son and getting some shopping in. When i got back asked if he was on his way and he wrote 'oh i was waiting for you to tell me when to come over' does this make any sense to anyone? I'm on too much of a high really to care but just curious to hear thoughts. Maybe i was too vague?

Congratulations @Naimee87

Is it a cultural/language difference with the asking?

Sea of Twats - brilliant! Thanks @troobleflooble.

@Naimee87 - Congratulations!! Hmm - I think you were a bit vague, depending on long his journey is. You did say you were going out and he's not to know how long you'd be.

SpringlikeBunk Onesmallstep67
Thanks for your replies. I'd be happy to just be friends with him.
I'm just puzzled why he would go to the effort of contacting me. It's not like our paths were likely to meet again.

And he has managed to drop in a mention of the fact he is still single.

I'll just wait & see if he gets in touch again.

Naimee87 Amazing! What an awesome achievement. Enjoy your champagne

Well done @Naimee87!! 😁

@EchoElephant

Agree it is a bit of headfuck and would annoy me but nothing you can do apart from wait!

What I don't like is "heavy hinting to get someone's attention" then "retreating"? Mixed signals.

Like all the contact is kind of (rightly) implying he's into you which is why you're mulling it over, but also not saying anything directly?

If the meet does go forward I'd definitely try to clarify his intentions sooner than later.

Good point, SpringlikeBunk
Very mixed signals, which is why I just said "if you have any more questions, I'd be happy to meet for coffee sometime". I thought it best to keep it casual.

I'm so out of practice with dating. And I've only been away a year!

Well done @naimee87 👏

@SpringlikeBunk it’s the one place where I think it summarises 95% of the male participants 😂

Congrats @Naimee87!