Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband looking at teenage girls

212 replies

Candyblosoom1 · 31/07/2021 23:26

I caught my husband (early 40s) looking at teenage girls a few times when we're out.

The girls he looks at are usually wearing mini skirts, shorts or have their breast out.

They look like there are between 15-18 years old.

I remember when I was around 14, I had a few men staring at me even though I always dressed modestly so I'm starting to wonder if that's in men's nature.

I asked one of my friend who's husband thinks his behaviour is normal. That every men are attracted to young girls(15-18) with boobs or nice legs even if they don't want to admit it. It doesn't mean that they will act on it.

OP posts:
Guavafish · 02/08/2021 00:25

Yes they do! They look, you might not see it but they do!

This is the naivety, you honestly believe that most men don’t look at teens and women bodies is totally nonsense.

Sampafie · 02/08/2021 00:26

@youvegottenminuteslynn

You agree with that man? Seriously?

Shellady · 02/08/2021 00:26

@Guavafish

Yes they do! They look, you might not see it but they do!

This is the naivety, you honestly believe that most men don’t look at teens and women bodies is totally nonsense.

Yet in your opinion that’s not attraction ???? To be looking at the teens body or looking at the teen porn

Please explain why they would be doing that if they are not attracted to the child

CandyLeBonBon · 02/08/2021 00:27

@Guavafish

You can stare at someone doesn’t mean your attracted to them!
Were you not taught that staring is rude?
Sampafie · 02/08/2021 00:27

Guavafish youve found a topic where you can use your expertise as a man who retraumatize women whove gone through this as girls and teens and are worried for their daughters. Congratulations hope you feel really proud of yourself. Im reporting all your posts to the mods and i encourage any woman who feels disgusted by his words to do the same

Sampafie · 02/08/2021 00:28

To retraumatize**

youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/08/2021 00:28

@Guavafish

Yes they do! They look, you might not see it but they do!

This is the naivety, you honestly believe that most men don’t look at teens and women bodies is totally nonsense.

If the majority of a group of people do something, it doesn't make it ok!

Raise your bar. OP shouldn't feel it's something she should tolerate even if it was true 'most' men STARE at girls aged 15-18.

They're perfectly capable of not staring. It's absolutely gross.

Shellady · 02/08/2021 00:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/08/2021 00:29

[quote Sampafie]@youvegottenminuteslynn

You agree with that man? Seriously?[/quote]
What post are you referring to?

Enough4me · 02/08/2021 00:30

I don't think it's a naive perspective. I do not have to talk to my male family and friends about letching over children because they don't do it. They are living their regular lives, not perverts.

Shellady · 02/08/2021 00:30

@Guavafish

Yes they do! They look, you might not see it but they do!

This is the naivety, you honestly believe that most men don’t look at teens and women bodies is totally nonsense.

Yes a predator I think
Guavafish · 02/08/2021 00:31

Men will look and your naive to believe they don’t. I think it’s because it’s an uncomfortable truth. Some look quickly and some will stare.

I don’t think all are attracted to the person like American beauty.

If you all really believe men don’t look or stare at teens, then why is teen porn a top search?

youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/08/2021 00:31

@Guavafish

Are you a man?

CandyLeBonBon · 02/08/2021 00:33

@Guavafish if you are one of these men who thinks it's acceptable to stare at girls and women's bodies, then do yourself a favour and get yourself some help before you end up on the wrong side of a criminal prosecution at some point.

What you're describing is NOT what decent people do.

If you do that, you have a problem.

Guavafish · 02/08/2021 00:33

I’m a women

youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/08/2021 00:33

@Guavafish

Men will look and your naive to believe they don’t. I think it’s because it’s an uncomfortable truth. Some look quickly and some will stare.

I don’t think all are attracted to the person like American beauty.

If you all really believe men don’t look or stare at teens, then why is teen porn a top search?

Do you not get that many women know men look, stare and sexualise teens but those women don't want to be in relationships with those men?

Would you want to be with someone who is sexually aroused / attracted to minors?

Are you sexually attracted / aroused by minors?

Enough4me · 02/08/2021 00:33

@Guavafish not all men are perverts.

Guavafish · 02/08/2021 00:34

I have not said it’s acceptable

I said it’s the truth, they will look.

Gab2 · 02/08/2021 00:34

I read that internet porn is normalising the hyper sexualisation and objectification of females under 18 or made to look under 18. Its frightening but apparently this sort of porn is the most watched for heterosexual men. I'm sorry to tell you but he might be watching this kind of porn and so is lusting after girls that age. Its messed up. Its your relationship and you know what you need so maybe try having a conversation about it, maybe look one of these articles up and try to engage him in the conversation. I would also ask yourself if you want to be with a man who is lusting after 15 year olds who to be honest have the faces of babies. You deserve a man of quality, who's balanced and who is attracted to women. You're young and you still have time to have kids with a man who deserves you. Do you really want to have kids with a man who makes you feel like shit about yourself and who embarrasses you when he looks at underage girls? He sounds immature and hes telling you who he is now. My niece had sex with her friends dad when she was 15. He did everything to get her to stay over and he groomed her. His girlfriend or fiance called my niece a slut. His daughter doesnt live with him anymore after police were called by my sister. If he's into girls that young then he is going to strip you of your self confidence when you have kids with him because hes not going to love a beautiful pregnant womans body. If hes lusting thats not going to change and you don't know of he'll act on it one day.

Guavafish · 02/08/2021 00:36

I won’t be with a person that stares at women let alone teens.

NiceGerbil · 02/08/2021 00:37

@Guavafish

You can stare at someone doesn’t mean your attracted to them!
You're the one who brought teen porn into it. I assume you're aware of barely legal, similar stuff I'd imagine.

You've done s total U-turn.

From.
It's what men are like what can you do. Teen porn see it's normal for men to want to fuck girls that age.

To.
Grown men staring at girls may not/ does not have anything to do with lust/ sexual attraction?!

Like I said we used to get s higher quality of poster on these threads to explain that it's normal yada yada.

Closetbeanmuncher · 02/08/2021 00:39

I know it's going to sound pathetic but I don't know how long it will take me to find someone else to do that with

Yeah I really wouldn't be having kids with this guy.... Imagine him letching and salivating allover your teenage daughters friends 🤢🤢

Just.no.

CandyLeBonBon · 02/08/2021 00:41

@Guavafish

I have not said it’s acceptable

I said it’s the truth, they will look.

Then you need a better quality of friends and acquaintances because no, not every man does this.
youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/08/2021 00:41

@Guavafish

I have not said it’s acceptable

I said it’s the truth, they will look.

Why do you seem to think most posters are disagreeing with that? Most of us aren't saying it's uncommon, we're saying it's disgusting, objectifying and a dealbreaker. And something men could control IF they wanted to.
Guavafish · 02/08/2021 00:43

No I never said that … I’m stating a fact… that teen porn is one of the top internet porn search. It’s a fact.

Men will look at teens/women especially if they are were revealing clothes. Some will look and other stare.

If it’s ok?… no, especially if your partner is standing next to you.