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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband looking at teenage girls

212 replies

Candyblosoom1 · 31/07/2021 23:26

I caught my husband (early 40s) looking at teenage girls a few times when we're out.

The girls he looks at are usually wearing mini skirts, shorts or have their breast out.

They look like there are between 15-18 years old.

I remember when I was around 14, I had a few men staring at me even though I always dressed modestly so I'm starting to wonder if that's in men's nature.

I asked one of my friend who's husband thinks his behaviour is normal. That every men are attracted to young girls(15-18) with boobs or nice legs even if they don't want to admit it. It doesn't mean that they will act on it.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/08/2021 00:10

@Guavafish

I didn’t say attraction... I’m talking about looking and staring.
What do you think their motivation for looking and staring is if not attraction?
Shellady · 02/08/2021 00:11

Especially the motivation for the teen porn ?

CandyLeBonBon · 02/08/2021 00:12

Men who do this covet these young women. They covet them. Like in American Beauty.

Shellady · 02/08/2021 00:12

@CandyLeBonBon

Men who do this covet these young women. They covet them. Like in American Beauty.
Lol yes he was a prime example of one of these creeps in that movie I agree
CandyLeBonBon · 02/08/2021 00:13

It's fucking sinister. And as a pp said, it might be common, doesn't mean it's normal.

NiceGerbil · 02/08/2021 00:15

???

Teen porn
Revealing clothes..

You're saying it's not about attraction?

Do you mean... Like a man seeing a girl and ogling her body it's not attraction, more basic. would like to fuck. Is that it?

Sampafie · 02/08/2021 00:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/08/2021 00:16

Yes men who do this are attracted to teenagers instead of adult women @CandyLeBonBon

And those like OP's husband express that attraction to teenagers (aka children) through staring at them are creeps.

And it's OK for OP to be utterly turned off by that and consider it a dealbreaker. It's absolutely vile.

I'm bisexual. I don't look at children, teenagers in that way. Because they are not adults. So I'm not attracted to them and don't see them in a sexual way.

Men are perfectly capable of experiencing that same reasoning. Those who can't or won't experience don't have to express it through staring.

Again, it's ok for something common to be a dealbreaker.

NiceGerbil · 02/08/2021 00:16

I thought that the teen porn they got very young looking actresses and dressed them up like. I think it was 'young teens'?

How is that not about wanting to fuck them?

ScrollingLeaves · 02/08/2021 00:17

“NiceGerbil

'I would not be surprised though if, privately, an older man had a passing thought that a teenage girl was lovely, though. You can’t police someone’s thoughts.'

“And what on earth does this have to do with any of this?

It's about grown men staring at girls and women.

Staring.“

NiceGerbil
To answer your question, originally I was answering the last paragraph in the OP’s opening thread where she said her friend’s husband thought a lot of men would think teenage girls were attractive but would not act on it.

I should have quoted that particular OP paragraph to be clearer.

Also. I had not read the full thread where OP went on to say that her husband really was staring at girls and looking them up or down. I think that is abhorrent and repulsive and if he were my husband I would leave him.

I do not think it is OK for men to stare at young girls, leer at them, or watch porn.

Guavafish · 02/08/2021 00:18

I’m not making excusing, it’s just the truth. Men will look at young teens bodies.

Is it right - no. Of course it’s inappropriate

I don’t think likes American beauty, where the middle age man became obsessed over the teen girl next door.

NiceGerbil · 02/08/2021 00:18

'Yes men who do this are attracted to teenagers instead of adult women @CandyLeBonBon'

Erm...

You think OP is a young teen?
Or that they don't have sex?
Or that he is pretending?

Come off it!

Sampafie · 02/08/2021 00:18

Guavafish & Maskless are MEN

Shellady · 02/08/2021 00:19

@Sampafie

Guavafish and that other poster are obviously men who have been trolling this forum for a while and finally found a topic they can join in on. Its evident they are not women and id advise any woman to ignore them. Feeding these trolls just gives them the achknowledgment and recognition they wish they could get from little girls
Yes I tend to agree with this . Make me sick to think how widespread men ( and I use that term losely ) are who think this is ok or enjoy it … ughhhhh
Shellady · 02/08/2021 00:20

@Guavafish

I’m not making excusing, it’s just the truth. Men will look at young teens bodies.

Is it right - no. Of course it’s inappropriate

I don’t think likes American beauty, where the middle age man became obsessed over the teen girl next door.

Then ‘men’ are filth if that’s true and they are listing over children
youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/08/2021 00:20

@NiceGerbil

'Yes men who do this are attracted to teenagers instead of adult women *@CandyLeBonBon*'

Erm...

You think OP is a young teen?
Or that they don't have sex?
Or that he is pretending?

Come off it!

@NiceGerbil I'm absolutely on the same page as you that this is utterly wrong so not sure if you've got the wrong end of the stick from my posts.

OP's partner is vile. He is sexually aroused by children. By teenagers. He stares at them. It's disgusting and would be a dealbreaker for me and the women I know.

Something being common doesn't make it acceptable or ok.

I agree with you!

Guavafish · 02/08/2021 00:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

NiceGerbil · 02/08/2021 00:21

@Guavafish

I’m not making excusing, it’s just the truth. Men will look at young teens bodies.

Is it right - no. Of course it’s inappropriate

I don’t think likes American beauty, where the middle age man became obsessed over the teen girl next door.

From 9/10. Looking is not staring. The vast majority of men do not stare at girls/ women on the street.

I think that some enjoy winding up.

But 'explaining' why grown men- 40s 50s whatever- stare at girls from age 9/10. That they all do it can't help it and look 'teen' porn see!

It's pretty low even for these sorts of threads!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/08/2021 00:21

@NiceGerbil

Maybe I should have said people like OP's husband are attracted to teenagers as well as adult women I guess. They are sexually aroused by both. Gross.

Guavafish · 02/08/2021 00:22

You can stare at someone doesn’t mean your attracted to them!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/08/2021 00:23

[quote Guavafish]@Sampafie is not a women and is a troll, as he has never had a men stare at him as a teen.

He will not understand how it feels.[/quote]
I agree. It's such an intrusive, invasive, unsettling feeling especially as a child / teen. Makes you both grossed out and frightened. Vulnerable. I cannot imagine excusing causing that feeling to a woman or girl. It is vile.

Enough4me · 02/08/2021 00:23

Eh, I don't stare at anyone. It's rude!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/08/2021 00:24

@Guavafish

You can stare at someone doesn’t mean your attracted to them!
Serious question - do you genuinely think that a man 'staring' at a 15-18 year old girl is doing so for a reason other than being attracted to them?

What would that reason be?

Why do you think it's acceptable / something men can't help doing?

Enough4me · 02/08/2021 00:25

My post was to Guavafish.

Shellady · 02/08/2021 00:25

@NiceGerbil
‘ But 'explaining' why grown men- 40s 50s whatever- stare at girls from age 9/10. That they all do it can't help it and look 'teen' porn see!

It's pretty low even for these sorts of threads!’

Yes exactly . I don’t know what on earth someone would think was ok about saying it’s ‘normal ‘ and ‘ not attraction ‘

It is not fucking normal and it’s signifies that the men doing this have a sickness and can’t be trusted around children