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Original poster

How many here are single, open to meeting someone but not doing OLD?

423 replies

TossaCoinToYerWitcher · 31/07/2021 16:52

Just wondered. As a single bloke, it often seems that if you're not doing OLD you're missing out on meeting the right person, as that'll be where any single person looking for a relationship will be. But maybe that's not the case?

OP posts:
PearlFriday · 01/08/2021 16:42

So true! I'm laughing now because I'm not doing OLD but yeh, it was so depressing how quickly it turned nasty.

Hedgesfullofbirds · 01/08/2021 16:44

Interesting perspective @ChloeAndRadcliffe! It hadn't occured to me that people might adopt that attitude when trying to make a connection with someone - how sad! I have to say that all those who I have messaged, and who have responded, have been nothing less than polite. Perhaps it is the Y chromosome which makes people turn nasty and unpleasant! Unfair generalisation, I know!

PearlFriday · 01/08/2021 16:52

I once blocked a man who was so intense. I had been chatting with him but he'd started to ask me those 36 questions designed to make two people fall in love Confused and I thought give me a break sunshine and I stopped responded. He gave me a load of abuse and then said I know you went for a date on Friday but you're still on here so it didn't work out and yet you're on here, it's your own fault you're single. He was demented. There was more. I don't want to remind myself. I blocked him and he set up a new account and instantly had another go at me. Just because I didn't fall for his manipulations!
That one scared me a bit.
Other times it was just the usual, married, in a serious relationship, gravy stains on his football jersey! hobby -drinking! Calling me a prude.

virgospirit · 01/08/2021 16:54

@66babe - thankyou for responding, and I’m glad to hear you’re not bothered about height, it’s reassuring Smile The funny thing is, when it does crop up in conversation many guys will say to me.. no way, you’re not 5’4”, you must be taller than that surely, I’m 5’11. And I look at them and say, sorry mate I’m definitely 5’4 which makes you about 5’9!! ..which is usually met with a scoff, a grunt and the conversation abruptly changing direction! So many men lie about their height for some reason, it really is odd!

66babe · 01/08/2021 17:02

I think most of us women would rather meet a decent 5 ft 4 than a 6 ft knob head

Don't give up hope , every lid has its pot ... so I'm told

Think I must be that weird wok thing

Brown76 · 01/08/2021 17:03

I’m not single now but I tried OLD for a year and it was a waste of time, I hoped that I might be able to connect with single people that I could have a chat with IRL, I’m honestly not hideous and have had a good number of relationships but I just couldn’t seem to get past the messaging stage to actually meeting people, I ended up feeling pissed off that no-one wanted to actually talk or meet.

virgospirit · 01/08/2021 17:03

If you are genuinely honest and completely truthful in your profile itdoesn't work on dating sites, or at least not as a.man.

And this is another reason why I refuse to even log into a dating site. It’s a bullshiters game in which I have zero interest. Tbh I’m surprised so many women try their hand at it.

Brown76 · 01/08/2021 17:07

Oh and also not bothered about height. Have dated men from 5’3 - 6’2 and I’m taller than average.

66babe · 01/08/2021 17:08

Sorry if you've read this before on another thread but it still cracks me up today

OLD . Get a message request from Ron 83 ! I'm thinking oh bless this old gent is looking for a chat , some company
I think it won't hurt me to be polite so I accept
First thing he says " can I ask you a question?" I'm thinking oh dear he's going to ask if I'd date someone his age - my dad is 76 so I hesitantly say " ask away " his reply was
Wait for it

" what size are your tits ? "
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Roblox01 · 01/08/2021 17:13

@virgospirit

If you are genuinely honest and completely truthful in your profile itdoesn't work on dating sites, or at least not as a.man.

And this is another reason why I refuse to even log into a dating site. It’s a bullshiters game in which I have zero interest. Tbh I’m surprised so many women try their hand at it.

Agreed it is a bullshitters game.

I've mentioned on here before (just to get a female perspective) what I'm looking for. Basically some companionship but also on a reduced basis being mindful of kids etc. The comments on here have been yeah that sounds reasonable, but then mentioning that on OLD...

User135644 · 01/08/2021 17:15

I'd never do OLD. It's ghastly.

User135644 · 01/08/2021 17:29

So in essence OLD doesn't really work for the majority of men or most women unless I suppose they manage to snag one of those men in the top percentile. The comment upthread about all the women on a speed dating night wanting one guy being a case in point.

Women flock around the same few men and men are chasing after youth and beauty. That will always be the meat market.

bathsh3ba · 01/08/2021 17:54

I've used OLD but currently feel it's not worth the effort. In just about 7 years of on/off using it, I only met 2 guys I was even attracted to. It's just not worth the energy it takes, I don't like the 'culture' and there are too many dodgy guys on there.

I'm sort of seeing someone now but I don't know if it will go anywhere. If it doesn't, I think I'll just give up and stay single! I've managed 7 years, what's another few more?!

PearlFriday · 01/08/2021 18:45

@66babe 😂😂

PearlFriday · 01/08/2021 18:48

Here's another one opening line no hey how are you, just straight in with "will you go away with me in my one man tent or are you like the rest of the prudes on here?".

66babe · 01/08/2021 19:03

Or @PearlFriday you must be a lesbian?

MayEye · 01/08/2021 19:53

I’m doing OLD on and off for a year and it’s not an ideal way to find someone. But I did decide I was ready to date in a pandemic, so no other possible way to meet anyone. I’m quite shy and will definitely come off as standoffish if I don’t know someone so men didn’t tend to approach me anyway. After doing OLD and going on several dates, I would definitely be more open in my demeanour now if I was out. Hopefully that will draw them all in Grin
Work is a no no for sure - plus the last time I was in my workplace no one even knew I was single and probably still don’t!
I’ll stick with the OLD for now as I am definitely more comfortable messaging and then arranging a date than if someone asked me out to my face Shock

ChloeAndRadcliffe · 01/08/2021 19:55

There's nothing wrong with being honest about what you're looking for, but if your profile is basically a shopping list of what your ideal woman must look/be like or, worse, a list of what you DON'T want, then you can't be too surprised if women think "well, I can't live up to those expectations, I'd better not bother". I saw a profile the other day where the guy had managed to use the word "intelligent" four times, both about himself and his prospective date. I'm not thick, but he sounded like hard work, like he'd roll his eyes at you if you wanted to watch Strictly. I'd wager he probably wasn't as clever as he thought he was either.

Over the last few months, I keep seeing "No Tories please" on profiles too! I'm not one, but neither do I want to go out with some Citizen Smith wannabe lefty dudebro. There's nothing more tedious than intolerant people unironically calling other people bigots...

Mintjulia · 01/08/2021 20:00

Funnily enough, I got chatted up on the train coming home from work last week.

It's been so long since that happened, it took me a while to realise what was going on. Grin Grin

Gwenhwyfar · 01/08/2021 20:52

@User135644

So in essence OLD doesn't really work for the majority of men or most women unless I suppose they manage to snag one of those men in the top percentile. The comment upthread about all the women on a speed dating night wanting one guy being a case in point.

Women flock around the same few men and men are chasing after youth and beauty. That will always be the meat market.

This is exactly the same in the pub!
Gwenhwyfar · 01/08/2021 20:55

"fter doing OLD and going on several dates, I would definitely be more open in my demeanour now if I was out. Hopefully that will draw them all in grin"

Interesting. So OLD has increased your confidence for real life encounters?

friendlyflicka · 01/08/2021 21:04

@66babe I am not complaining...but no one has ever sent me a dick pic or called me frigid. I am 54 and in Somerset so maybe men are a bit less racy here. I have had lots of dates and lots of messages etc, I am on Match. Just can't find anyone I like

friendlyflicka · 01/08/2021 21:13

@virgospirit This is so funny to read. i am same height as you, and don't have any heightist issues at all. But I have been on so many dates where the man lists himself as 5'9 and the only reason I check is because I am making sure I recognise him so focusing on the physical before date. When he turns up he is the same size as me and I am wondering if perhaps I am taller than I think, or they have bad posture...

MayEye · 01/08/2021 21:18

@Gwenhwyfar

"fter doing OLD and going on several dates, I would definitely be more open in my demeanour now if I was out. Hopefully that will draw them all in grin"

Interesting. So OLD has increased your confidence for real life encounters?

@Gwenhwyfar I think so. Im an introvert and am quite shy so meeting strangers off the internet for coffees or dinner has definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone. So if someone started to chat to me at a bar or somewhere I would probably be more receptive….if I liked them of course.
virgospirit · 01/08/2021 21:40

@friendlyflicka - it’s because so many men feel that being tall is the winning card, that they won’t be taken seriously unless they’re viewed as tall, so make out they’re taller than they really are, total insecurity right there. The weird thing is, what on earth makes these people think others won’t notice?!? They probably have bad posture as well.