Step Dad / Step Daughter Relationship

[ParryHotter85]

Been married for 6 years with a DD which is mine who is nearly 13 from a previous relationship (which turned physically abusive).

The relationship between DD and DH is strained. DD attitude, mood swings, door slamming not keeping room tidy, answering back are becoming more and more frequent due to age.

My idea of discipline and DH idea are two different things. He shouts a lot. Not just at DD but at me too if we have a disagreement even though I have told him I do not like the way it makes me feel (nervous, anxious etc)

He claims it’s because he was brought up that way and keeps harping on about when we was growing up, if we behaved the way she does, we would have got smacked.

She gave him a dirty look the other day and he absolutely lost his shit. Started screaming at her “who are you looking at likkkkeee thhhattttt!!!!” I’m an adult.

After that I spoke to them both and explained how much of an impact this was having on me, them both being at loggerheads all the time I was upset.

They made friends after that.

I feel really down about all this and it’s having a significant effect on my mental health.

Any advice?

I'm glad you left. It is the right thing for you and your daughter.

A few pages back you talked about him acting re a girl bullying your daughter and you used this as an example of him loving your daughter.

I think it is more likely that it was an opportunity for him to bully and shout and threaten another young girl and throw his weight about with people who weren't really able to give him a smack in the mouth. He won't stand up to his relatives. He likes to target those he thinks can't react. It was imo nothing to do with loving, caring, protecting your daughter. He used her situation so he could intimidate others.

Well done OP