Really rude thread but I need advice! Here goes ..................

[mummyvontummy]

Have finally got together with someone I've been hankering after for MONTHS and everything is brilliant. Except for one thing. I have always been horrendous at, well, oral sex. And he is the first guy to not skip over the fact-in fact he said he thinks maybe I should talk to my friends about how they do it and maybe get some tips! Argh!!!! I'm so embarrassed! Does anyone have any tips? As I don't actually have any real friends. Well I do but I don't want to admit my weakness to them! Help! This will probably be thrown off here in 5 mins or I'll be barred, but I don't want to go trawling cyberspace because Google will pick up all sorts of scary stuff!!!

Not oral, but doing 'countdown' by hand is very nice for the fellow:

Lots of oil, warm in your hand, then with either or both hands, twenty strokes up, twenty strokes down, nineteen up, nineteen down, so on, you get the picture, get to six or seven then bingo

Varying the pressure can add to the excitement.

Have fun

im puzzled about how you can be so bad???

do you know what you are doing wrong then maybe we can take it from there.

Umm. Why should you ask your friends? Surely he knows what he likes best? Cant he tell you what he'd like you to do and how?

I didn't think there was such a thing as a bad blow job? Not according to my dh, anyway!

Get him to tell you what he likes. Ask him to let you know when to go faster etc. Just make sure he doesn't become running comentary guy.

Just a small point, but if he's that bothered, why doesn't he tell you what he likes. Bit off imho, that he thinks its ok to tell you, you can't do something right and to askyour mates!

I don't know why I'm bad either-that's the problem! I was horrendously nervous as he is so lovely, and now it will be even worse because it is such a big thing in my head now!!

Useless here too.
And, i just dont like it.
Luckily my dp, is not too fussed and can live without it, that way.

well if he is so open about you bneing bad at it then maybe HE should tell you what he wants instead of getting you to ask your friends

Right, I will probably get barred for this but here goes.

Once you've done a bit of what BARL says and you want to give it a try imagine a lollypop, start by licking him up and down at first. Then use your tongue to slowly swirl around the tip before, again slowly, taking him in your mouth.

You don't have to take it all in...place your hand and the base and then place your mouth over the top so your hand and mouth touch. Then move mouth up and down together, sucking slightly at the same time.

I know it's a bit to remember but just tell him that you know you aren't brill at the mo but if he bears with you you'd like to practise on him a lot - which I'm sure he can't complain about and ask him to tell you what feels good and what doesn't.

And if he gets to the 'point of no return', keep sucking when he 'unloads' for a few seconds, makes the feeling a bit more intense.

Hope this helps!

I've just asked my dh... he said pretty much anything goes...but not teeth!!

((and yes..that was said from experience!!))

I think it was a bit crass of him to mention it, unless he did it a very nice way.

Some like teeth....

He thinks you should get some tips from your friends?

Cheeky bugger wouldn't have anything left to fellate if he were my bf!

Thank you all for being as mad as I am about it-I like to think if it were the other way round I'd do the constructive criticism thing instead of the "you are rubbish" thing!
And MuthaHubbard-thank you! xx I'm going to be checking this thread all night now-I didn't think anyone would post!!

VVVQV am sniggering too

I don't think this thread can sensibly proceed until you tell us what you were doing wrong... (we girls like to learn)

"it is such a big thing in my head now!! "-just read that back-whoops! He he!

Oh, and an update on his undoubtedly fantastic return of the favour would be useful too

"And if he gets to the 'point of no return', keep sucking when he 'unloads' for a few seconds, makes the feeling a bit more intense."

No way.. no how.. would he still be in my mouth at that stage.......

I think I was just nervous and so had a dry mouth! I was running my tounge round the top and using my hand at the bottom and going up and down at the same time, but apparently this is wrong! Argh!!!!! Maybe I'm just rubbish at multi tasking?

No worries mvt.

I think when he goes down on you, you should hold up score cards!!!

No advice, as DH doesn't really like this so I have no idea if I am good at it

but at "big thing in my head"

I cant seem to get much in, without gagging.

My dp, would like it if i did it, but he knows im crap/dont like it, so he gave up a long time ago.