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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Really rude thread but I need advice! Here goes ..................

137 replies

mummyvontummy · 24/11/2007 21:26

Have finally got together with someone I've been hankering after for MONTHS and everything is brilliant. Except for one thing. I have always been horrendous at, well, oral sex. And he is the first guy to not skip over the fact-in fact he said he thinks maybe I should talk to my friends about how they do it and maybe get some tips! Argh!!!! I'm so embarrassed! Does anyone have any tips? As I don't actually have any real friends. Well I do but I don't want to admit my weakness to them! Help! This will probably be thrown off here in 5 mins or I'll be barred, but I don't want to go trawling cyberspace because Google will pick up all sorts of scary stuff!!!

OP posts:
mummyvontummy · 24/11/2007 21:48

That's the problem-the return favour was so good I think my neighbours heard (so crass, sorry!), so now I feel bad that I couldn't do the same for him!

OP posts:
notjustmom · 24/11/2007 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummyvontummy · 24/11/2007 21:50

Oh god Mutha-have just got bad image in my head of ice-skating, strictly come dancing style sex from now on, with a panel of judges by the bed!!!

OP posts:
middletimer · 24/11/2007 21:50

mvt, I am admiring your honesty!

Firefly -

Sparkler · 24/11/2007 21:56

FF2 I am PMSL at your comment. Hmmm how many syns in that I wonder?

MsPontipine · 24/11/2007 22:06

Tuck in your teeth and mind your eyes!! And takes breaks to give your mouth a rest or you may find yourself making involuntary mouth noises like an old person when you try 2 talk afterwards!! Eye contact's good. A 69's good as it takes your mind off your own performance!! And the sexiset thing I think is if you're planning to go on to other stuff rather than finishing it there then the harder you work the harder . . . If u see what I mean - that thought always turns me on (that is if my memory serves me right ... see my thread!!)

MuthaHubbard · 24/11/2007 22:15

He he! Was going to mention strictly COME dancing but thought that might but some people off!!

If you brush your teeth just before you do the deed, or hold champangne in your mouth it feels good. Or if you have a slurp of hot tea just before (but obviously don't keep in mouth!!).

It could just be that you were a little nervous first time round, which explains the dry mouth.

He should be happy with the fact that you are willing to do it in the first place!

middletimer · 24/11/2007 22:17

now, mvt, are you brave enough to come back and tell us how you got on next time?

if he complains, you can always spit in his eye...

SantaBeClausImWorthIt · 24/11/2007 22:21

"Eye contact"

How the bloody hell do you manage that?!

SantaBeClausImWorthIt · 24/11/2007 22:22

I've clearly been doing something wrong all these years

mummyvontummy · 24/11/2007 22:30

He he he, right girls-I will give you all an update on Monday night (god how bad is that-I'm planning on posting on MN after sex-am I naive or just a little bit addicted?). Plan:

  1. Buy sparkling wine
  2. Stop being nervous (helped by wine!)
  3. Just go for it-am wondering about how to keep eye contact too though!)

xxxx

OP posts:
middletimer · 24/11/2007 22:32

ACT as though you aren't nervous and you will convince yourself!

Erm, is it appropriate to say "good luck" here?

MuthaHubbard · 24/11/2007 22:35

Yep, no probs about saying good luck!!

So, erm, good luck!!

(re eye contact thing - easiest to do when you are doing the licking bit of the 'operation')

MsPontipine · 24/11/2007 22:39

You know - just a sexy peep up through your eye lashes every sooften - to check the rapture on his face / or he's still awake!! Combine it with the checking your mouth still closes ok!
Break a leg - have one for me!!
(BTW my thread was sex and the single horny mum - none for 3 and a half years so very jealous of anyone having some!!)

Sparkler · 24/11/2007 22:40
mummyvontummy · 24/11/2007 22:51

Pontipine we're identical! I waited three and a half years too! And then was so horny by the time he got anywhere he couldn't get it to stay in! Argh! Your time will be here soon (put your time will come but it sounded wrong so changed it!) xxx

OP posts:
Pinkchampagne · 25/11/2007 11:42

Lol @ FF2! I couldn't agree more!!

Showmeheaven · 25/11/2007 16:40

mmmm, don't rub up and down too much (with your hand or your mouth). The key is to treat it VERY GENTLY. Hold the base with your hand then give the tip plenty of attention, with tongue, licks, kisses. Then after a few mins lightly rub the base with your thumb & forefinger. Let him know you are enjoying it too (not just going through the motions). A couple of sighs & girly moans will drive him wild (don't overdo it, you don't want to sound like a porn star!). Then take him all the way into your mouth. He'll be going crazy at this stage . You'll know when he's about to, ahem, come to a head ... Let him take charge at this stage.

I have always found that enthusiasm is just as important as technique. If a guy knows you doing it because you love it, you're half way there. Good luck.

splishsplosh · 25/11/2007 16:46

apparently if you can manage an extra minto in your mouth at the same time, that can be nice for extra tingle factor. Maybe it's easier to stick to cleaning your teeth first though, like someone else suggested,.
Good luck tomorrow....

neverfree · 25/11/2007 16:52

good grief, don't know where you lot get the energy. Oral sex is something I've never realy liked to be honest. So I don't do it.
But DH was wondering if it was possible to give a bad blow job.

splishsplosh · 25/11/2007 16:54

extra minto? that was meant to be extra strong mint

dunno about bad... aren't they supposed to be grateful that you gave it a go??

MrsSlocomb · 25/11/2007 16:57

My advice is to find someone else.
This guy is a prick

dingdongmerrALYonhigh · 25/11/2007 17:02

My DH particularly likes it if I'm kneeling, this makes it easier with the eye contact. Tend to do it when I'm undressing him.

He also likes his balls licked and gently sucked too.

Whilst licking in a swirly fashion around the head (as described above), try licking under the foreskin (if he has one, and only if you've just had a shower together so you know you've given it a good wash!) and pulling it back really gently.

Do little puppy licks all the way down the shaft and then up (it is now a good time for a little eye contact), do the swirly top thing for a bit again, put it in your mouth gentle sucks. Take it as far in as you can, then go back to giving the head some extra attention. Go down licking,give the balls some attention. Don't change sppeds/technique/area too often but think butterly touch, melting icecream licks (fast and firm) etc.

You could try massaging/licking the area between his balls and anus. Licking your finger and gently massaging his anus - although some men love it some may run!

Personally I think you need a little advice from the man, perhaps you caould ask if he likes whatever new technique you are trying out.

Keep a drink handy if you are nervous a dry mouth is not good.

Champagne bubbles good, as is coffee and ice cubes alternately - ice cubes also good for nipples too.

Good luck, relax and enjoy.

VictorianSqualor · 25/11/2007 17:17

Ice cream, eat ice cream with him and go down on him with it in your mouth, makes it a lot more moist plus the temperature makes it more intense.

MrsSlocomb · 25/11/2007 17:19

look at all of you with sex lives. I'm very