Really rude thread but I need advice! Here goes ..................

[mummyvontummy]

Have finally got together with someone I've been hankering after for MONTHS and everything is brilliant. Except for one thing. I have always been horrendous at, well, oral sex. And he is the first guy to not skip over the fact-in fact he said he thinks maybe I should talk to my friends about how they do it and maybe get some tips! Argh!!!! I'm so embarrassed! Does anyone have any tips? As I don't actually have any real friends. Well I do but I don't want to admit my weakness to them! Help! This will probably be thrown off here in 5 mins or I'll be barred, but I don't want to go trawling cyberspace because Google will pick up all sorts of scary stuff!!!

THE GUY IS A PRICK. 45MINS....U DESERVE A BL00DY MEDAL!

Dont be worried about technique - it will happen for you when u dont feel your being judged - and after 45mins i think he hs the problem to be honest - not you.

Maybe he was enjoying it so so much he was desperately trying not to come and make it last as long as possible!!
Blasted men there we are wiggling toes, eyebrows and everything concentrating on trying to come quickly so we don't take too long for them (ie any more than 2 minutes) or they'll give up (arghhhh!!) and assume you're one of those ladies who don't have orgasms (WHO WHO WHO???!!) while they're allowed to take all the time in the whole bloody world on theirs!!
Now I'm complaining about them again but still looking out for some!

mrs pontipine, of course I don't mind you asking!
We have many young children and ironically it means our relationship is not at its best atm.
Infact I am considering leaving him!!!

45 minutes is too long. Much less, more variety, alternate with hand and other things and it's his problem not yours if it's taking that long. How old is he?

ask him!

but here's a few tips form my OH/me and some gay friends:
alot of men like their prick to be treated a bit more firmly than a womans clit, so long firm sucks are good.
CHECK before introducing teeth! some do like it but generally only if they are sure you are doing it deliberatly rather than scarping their sensitive bits with your teeth clumsily
Drool is good, anything to lubricate things
Slip a hand between his legs, play with his balls, gently stroke the bit of skin behind them and if he seems to like it (or if he lifts his arse up a bit) gently press/play with his arsehole (if you think you've got a homophobe on your hands then dont' try this part)
Use your tongue on the underside, there should be a vein/ridge there, run your tongue (or a wet finger) up and down it.
swirl your tongue around the head and slip it into the slit a bit.
As someone else has said dont' change tactics/speed/pressure to often, think of a good massage, you need time to relax into each type of stroke.
If you slide your tongue out slightly over your bottom lip while sucking you acheive two things, it makes it feel like you are taking his prick further it and you guard at least one set of teeth.

tips for you,
pressing on the inside of your wrist can suppress the gag reflex
Breathe through your nose
Dont' think about it too much!
If you dont' want to swallow then pressing just behind his balls can stave of an orgasm long enough to get out of the way.

Good luck

Hi love - so how's it going then - wasn't just gonna abandon you after all that dirty talkin!!

So - are you getting marks out of ten , could try harder or kissed him one last good-bye??

tell him he is very bad at sex and he should ask his friends for tips cheeky man

FORTY FIVE MINUTES

FORTY FIVE MINUTES

would use a shock emoticon but it might be misinterpreted

oh dear i'm rubbish in bed - my dh is incredibly lucky if he gets 3 minutes

[resolves to do better because if my dh should happen to meet you I'd be sunk!!]

hope he gets a bit more positive

Ca

Mentoes and a mouthful of coke , blow his head off 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Do you enjoy doing it??

If not don't do it problem solved

Well... that's an interesting zombie.

Haha I didn't even notice

It was an interesting zombie. Bit of an anti-climax though! Tsk-boom! (Is that the cymbal sound?)
I read it all thinking I'm so glad DP isn't into blow jobs!

45 mins,,,no way.,,😂😂😂😂😂😂

Five mins then get on with something else. Either this is a wind up an some kids getting their jollies from this thread, or you’ve got a dude with a problem on your hands. 45 mins!!!!

Maybe get some feedback from your guy friends haha

`zombie ZOMBIE ZOMBIE!

A good little tip is eye contact drives My DH nuts lol
Maybe try a little dick lick from so where like Ann summers tease with tongue swirling it around the. Tip while using hands at the base sucking variety in strengths on the end failing that description maybe google bj porn

Very impressed that you managed 45 minutes. James Dyson will be asking you for tips! First of all, the new boyfriend sounds dreadful. He should be telling you what he likes, not telling you to ask your friends. Secondly, men (like women) like different things. What blows one man's mind will leave another cold, so while he might not be impressed by your skills, the chances are that another man will. Thirdly, hold it firmly, but treat it as the best ice lolly you've ever sucked. You've been out in the sun all day with nothing to drink, and the ice cream man arrives, and you've enough money for a giant ice pole. Treat it like that. Make the noises you would make when you're sucking that.My OH is very visual, so he loves me kneeling between his thighs, wearing a push up bra, and taking it off while looking at him. You can use your tits to tease his cock as well. I can't imagine he gets much physical stimulation but it is visually very erotic. If you want to deep throat, an easy way to do it is to get him to stand at the side of the bed while you lie on your back (you might need a couple of pillows if the bed is low or he's very tall) and take him in your mouth. The angle of your head stops the gag reflex and he gets to look at you and touch you at the same time.

TBH I find giving BJs very erotic and we usually finish with PIV as I climb on while he's as hard as a rock. The key things to note is that if you are enjoying it, he will enjoy it. Be confident - you own this; and you can't use too much tongue and saliva - swirl clockwise and anti clockwise, suck hard and then soft, and be guided by his reaction. And be a bit dirty - lose your inhibitions.

well i will ask
IS he anygood at being cunning?
and get that big thing out your head!!!!!!!

ZOMBIE people!!

I think when he goes down on you, you should hold up score cards!!!
TOTALLY!
I feel for you - And when you're nervous and your mouth gets dry it's even harder
Op, he's a very lucky man that you are keen to 'perfect' your technique on him. It's not easy - This has probably been said (haven't read the whole thread), but they don't call it a 'JOB' for nothing. It's hard work. xx

10 YEAR OLD ZOMBIE!
😱😱😱😱💀💀💀💀

Aaaah! @U2HasTheEdge ! A zombie thread! Wonder how it worked out for mvt ?