Partner lied about where he stayed on a business trip

[Brie35]

I’d like some advice. My partner has started travelling for work again. We’re not married but have lived together for 4 years (been together for 5), we’ve spoken about having children this is something he really wants, and I do too.

I’ve found out he stayed in a 5* hotel while he was away, for 3 weeks. He told me he stayed in their business apartment and a different hotel. His trip was extended while he was away, and for 4 days of the trip once he’d extended we didn’t speak, he kept making excuses saying he had a long day (which he does have long days).

But something doesn’t feel right…I’m not sure if I should confront him, I didn’t snoop down his phone I saw the hotel on documents he travelled with. But I did call the hotel he said he stayed at and they have no record of him there, he stayed at the one on the documents I saw they confirmed the dates on the phone.

Lying itself doesnt sound good. If nothing to hide why lie?

I agree. He also lied about the dates he rebooked the flights, I asked when he was coming home he said he’d sent the flights details when he had booked them. He’s already booked them and told me 4 days later!

I'm very surprised that hotels told you who did and didn't stay there. That's a serious breach of GDPR

Back to your concern though - what reason could he have for lying? What job does he do that necessitates staying in a 5 star hotel for 3 weeks? Did he come home weekends?

He's lying. People with something to hide lie.

They did, I just asked them to confirm the dates and they told me when he checked in and out.

He’s the CEO of an energy company. No he didn’t come home weekends as it was too far.

He has lied to you. I would ask him about it. What is stopping you doing that? Has he given you any other cause for concern about his fidelity?

What got your Spidey senses up to start with?

You’re right. I plan to ask him, I think I just wanted some reassurance from someone I didn’t know. I feel bad for calling the hotel but nothing makes sense…our sex life hasn’t been great. He’s very stressed with work and has spoken to me about it, but that seems to be an excuse that’s always used recently. Thing just don’t feel right.

The jumbled text he sent me while he was away explaining the change of flight and his lack of contact whilst he was there. Then since he’s been home he had barely touched me in bed, he has said he’s been distracted with work and looks stressed. I just feel like there’s someone else…but also realise my self esteem could be low and I’m over thinking things as I usually do.

@Brie35 I’m so sorry, I would bet my house that there is another woman !! It’s text book. Please NEVER doubt your spider senses, they are always right. Be strong, act like you don’t know, snoop and find out.

@PullingHairEverywhere Thank you. This is my worst fear. I don’t know any of his passwords so there’s no way I could find out in that way. I’ve have been acting like I don’t know and I’ve been really compassionate about his work. He’s been quite defensive when I’ve asked him about his trip, which I also know is a sign he’s covering something up…

I'm sorry OP but I agree with everyone that you should trust your instincts 🌸

You’re not imagining the lies.

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

I'm very surprised that hotels told you who did and didn't stay there. That's a serious breach of GDPR

Back to your concern though - what reason could he have for lying? What job does he do that necessitates staying in a 5 star hotel for 3 weeks? Did he come home weekends?

I and agree with this. I can't imagine getting that information easily. OP does he make his own travel arrangements and keep his own diary?

It was easier than I thought I was quite surprised then I felt so guilty after.

He makes his own travel arrangements. He didn’t forward me the email he did a copy and paste for both flights home - I had no clue where he was staying but I never do. We had one FaceTime in 3 weeks!

Gosh writing this I feel so stupid I’ve barely slept all week and can’t eat properly. I’ll calm myself down and speak him, I’ve made a few notes and read alit online about confronting and not accusing. Thank you so much everyone I really appreciate your POV even though I don’t know anyone. I’m so grateful 🙏🏽

Hi,
I really hope you are ok, nothing worse than feeling lied to. 😢
I really would confront him when you are able to as it all does sound quite sneaky and you are owed an explanation. Let us know how you get on , hope you manage to sort it zzz

NC, but my DP did this to cheat on his ex with me. It doesn’t mean your DP is cheating obviously but I’d be very suspicious.

Alternatively, perhaps he was concerned if you knew it was a five star hotel you’d want to come and it would distract him from his work, or he was worried you’d disapprove of such luxury on what was supposed to be a work trip?

I’d be a bit miffed if my DP was staying at a five star hotel for several weeks and I wasn’t invited!

Def hiding something

At the end of the day he's just a liar.

That's all you need to know.
Anything's possible with a liar.

You can't trust this man and that's all you need to know. Do not have a baby with him.

Brie, he has created distance between you and lied to you.

Is lying a dealbreaker for you?

I'm very surprised that hotels told you who did and didn't stay there. That's a serious breach of GDPR

Was this in the UK ?

@ProfessorSlocombe

I'm very surprised that hotels told you who did and didn't stay there. That's a serious breach of GDPR

Was this in the UK ?

No it wasn't the UK

@MsDogLady

Brie, he has created distance between you and lied to you.

Is lying a dealbreaker for you?

He has lied before so I this time I feel even more suspicious, I'm trying to figure out what I want before confronting him. He was my first love I've known him since I was 19...love is always complicated isn't it. I wish I hadn't started this thread I feel so stupid - like I've been in denial or something.